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The Paradox of Sacred Success™

Written by Barbara Huson

Sacred Success™ is what my soul had been yearning for.  It just took me a while to figure that out. Perhaps you feel the same. Perhaps, like me and many others, even though you  deeply desire, definitely deserve and will likely reap hefty financial rewards,  you’ve somehow always known there’s more to success than making lots of money.

Sacred Success™ does not require sacrificing financial reward in order to find fulfillment and meaning.  Quite the contrary. Sacred Success™ merges higher incomes with a higher calling. Each successful woman I interviewed explicitly expressed her unshakable desire to increase her earnings. Yet her drive was no longer fueled by making more, more, more. . .

Here’s where I got stuck…until I discovered the  Paradox of Sacred Success™

The Paradox goes like this: In order to play the game of Sacred Success™, you must have a strong profit motive firmly in place….which is essential to overcome underearning and attain financial stability. But…here’s the catch…at this point, you must give up profit as your primary goal.  The Primary Goal for Sacred Success™ is Achieving Greatness.

Next:  exploring Greatness.

Let me introduce you to Sacred Success

Written by Barbara Huson

I spent much of last year pondering this question: Why was I—along with scores of other women who’ve overcome underearning—still having difficulty cracking the code to even higher earnings?

Then, one day, it hit me.

Basically, there are three levels of financial development:

  1. Survival—doing whatever it takes to stay afloat
  2. Stability—generating enough cash flow to meet one’s needs, eliminate debt, and establish future security.
  3. Affluence—accumulating ample disposable income to live the life of one’s dreams.

The women I’d interviewed, who made millions,  were playing a very different game than what I had expected.  That’s because men tend to be highly motivated by profit, perks, and prestige. In the male world, the promise of affluence is a powerful incentive.

But not for women.  Once a woman becomes financially stable, she is no longer motivated by money.   What motivates her is helping others…or as numerous women described it, “ a search for significance.”

These are two very different paths to affluence. “Show me the money” versus “Show me how to help.” Too many women—like me—futilely struggle to navigate the first path, without realizing they have another option.

The latter is what I’ve come to call Scared Success™. It is the journey from stability to affluence…the game that is quietly being played by countless women (and, I might add, quite a few enlightened men!).

Stick around, and I’ll tell you exactly how to play!

Bye, Bye Surrender; Hello, Sacred Success™

Written by Barbara Huson

I suspect my time spent in Surrender is drawing to a close.  I’m walking away with a whole new appreciation for down time and empty space.

But just recently, I’ve been sensing a shift.  My energy seems to be changing.

You know that light at the end of the tunnel I spoke about in Step # 6?  I think I’m there…standing in the light, not looking at it from afar.  The future is finally coming into focus.

I realize now, what I called Surrender was really Gestation. Despite feeling like  ‘nothing’ was happening,  I’ve actually been  quite ‘busy’ birthing a new body of work…which eventually will grow into my next book.

I call this new work Sacred Success™…the next step after overcoming underearning. I stumbled upon Sacred Success™ while interviewing women who made millions.  But I really didn’t put all the pieces together until I surrendered.  Then, it was as if the pieces arranged themselves.

Just last week, like a proud mama, I took my new ‘baby’ out into the world.

I spoke at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts (www.mamagenas.com)… my first speech in ages.  I told them all about Sacred Success™.  The 200 women in the audience were transfixed.  It was like my soul was speaking directly to theirs.  And they were hungry for what I was saying.  Afterwards, I was deluged by those clamoring to hear more.

Now I’m chomping at the bit to share Sacred Success™ with even more women.  I desire to do it right here on this blog.  So invite your friends.

Discovering Sacred Success has changed my life.  It really has.  I believe it can change yours too.  I’d love you to read my upcoming blogs and let me know what you think.  I genuinely want your feedback.

The Beginners Guide to Surrender – Step 2

Written by Barbara Huson

After you’ve eliminated everything but the most essential you’re ready for Step 2…

Step #2—Allow uncomfortable feelings to surface.

Uncertainty, fear , self doubt–all those demons we’ve been artfully dodging through over-work, over-eating, over-spending and other drugs of choice—will inevitably rear their ugly heads.

For me, my biggest fear was being invisible, disappearing, not mattering.  I knew that was exactly what I had to face.  Because, I knew very well, on the other side of  fear is power. And, more than anything, I wanted to retrieve all the power I had given away in a myriad of ways.  So, too,  I yearned to retrieve all that creativity I felt I lost.  To that end, I also knew that uncertainty, as anxiety producing as it was for me,  is  the natural beginning of all creative acts, a primal state of pure energy, a very fertile time.

It’s been an emotional roller coaster, but I buckled in for the ride. As I wrote in Overcoming Underearning: “When you learn to face that which makes you fearful, it need never control you again.” I genuinely believe that!

Check back tomorrow for Step 3 – Reassess, reevaluate….

The Beginners Guide to Surrender – Step 3

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m here to tell you,  it’s going to be very tempting to jump into idle distractions–like going on a shopping spree or planning an ambitious project—anything to avoid those difficult feelings. What I did, when I found myself looking for excuses to escape (ok, I admit I fell off the wagon a few times), was to throw myself into Step #3.

 

Step #3—Reassess, reevaluate

The first question most people ask themselves, when facing uncertainty, is: what should I do? I’m here to tell you, that’s the LAST question to pose.  The first questions should always be: What do I need to  let go of? Where am I giving my power away? A big piece of surrender is letting go of what’s holding us back, reclaiming our power. How do you know what needs to go? Whatever you’re most afraid to release.

For me, I was willing to let go of writing, speaking, my business in general, my identity in particular….I was willing to make space for whatever was to come next.

I used the time to ask myself questions: What am I here to do? How do I want to live? Who do I desire to help? Where do I want to make a difference?

I journaled, meditated, read A Course in Miracles, joined a master mind group, processed my insights daily with friends.

Self reflection became my major focus.

Coming up – the result of my self reflection.

The Beginners Guide to Surrender – Step 4

Written by Barbara Huson

Surrender means taking time to go within.  It also means looking outward with new eyes.  That’s what Step #4 is all about.

Step #4—Receive consciously.

Receiving is an acquired skill most of us have never learned.  I’ve come to see that Successful Surrender requires Conscious Receiving. And the first Rule of Conscious Receiving is:  Give Up Judgment.  In other words:

  • Everything that happens, ‘good’ and ‘bad’, is seen as a message or a gift.
  • There is no negative, there is no positive, there is only information.
  • Whatever  occurs during Surrender is simply feedback about your future.

For example, during this period, I got an idea for a book, was all excited, and sent it my agent. He rejected it immediately.  Normally, I’d be devastated…and, admittedly, I was for a bit. But I began looking for the gift, the message, the lesson.  I figured it wasn’t time for the book but I’d be shown when it was.  And if not the book, something else will surface.

I continued to journal, meditate, self-reflect . Then, a few weeks ago, someone asked me when I was going to do another newsletter. Of course, I took it as a sign. As I wrote it, I felt compelled to blog. So, here I am.  Who knows what’s next!

Next: Final Steps

Signals of surrender

Written by Barbara Huson

How do you know when it’s time to surrender?

In my case, I just felt ‘blah’, squeezed dry, devoid of creativity, lacking the passion that once was so prominent.  These feelings sort of snuck up on me, caught me by surprise, sometime last summer.

My coach, Martha Lynn Walker, suggested I take a retreat, get a way for a few days. I did and blogged about it earlier – https://www.barbara-huson.com/its-a-miracle/

I returned reinvigorated, back in the groove. Or so I thought. A few months later, my business partner and I split up. At that point, I really felt lost.

I knew, right then, my “blahs” and the break-up were more than isolated incidences. They were wake up calls, signals from my soul, sending me an urgent message: Stop what you’re doing; Pay attention; there’s something you need to know, but you must be quiet enough to hear it.

I wonder how many of you are receiving similar messages, alerting you to the fact  you’ve somehow drifted  off purpose or  perhaps your direction may be morphing into something altogether different. I wonder how many of you haven’t a clue what to do.  Or are horrified at the very thought of taking time out. Well, my friends, I’m here to help.

Coming up next: a Beginners Guide to Surrender

Sweet (?) Surrender

Written by Barbara Huson

You may have noticed. There’s been a big gap between my last blog and this one. What a perfect metaphor!!

For months now, I’ve been literally living in the Gap.  Last December, I ended one phase of my life (my business partnership) but to date, haven’t begun the next phase (still being determined).

However, instead of forcing things into focus, I decided to consciously Surrender. Allow the future to unfold at its own pace, in its preferred direction.

This is not a tact I’d normally take.   I’m a go-getter kind of gal.   Surrender, to me, had negative connotations, something to be avoided by anyone with any ambition. Or at least that’s what I thought…

…until I began interviewing women who made millions. Making millions was my new goal, and the idea for my next book.  In the course of those conversations, however, I stumbled on a startling revelation.

Every woman I interviewed experienced a sort of limbo, or ‘time-between,’ just before she started making millions. They all described spending somewhat lengthy periods in the unknown, tolerating (though not enjoying) the uncertainty, allowing things to fall apart without rushing to put them back together

I saw how these Time-Outs served an essential role in their eventual triumphs because they used them, as one woman put it, “to regroup and come back stronger.”

These Surrender Points were often precipitated by an outside event—anything from a painful loss to a life threatening illness—though sometimes, the women themselves deliberately chose to step off the grid. I much preferred to follow in the latter’s footsteps… surrender and regroup–by design, not default.  It’s been quite a ride!

I intend to use my blog, at least for a bit, to explore this whole notion of surrender, share my experiences with you, and most of all, hear from those of you who’ve done something similar.

I’m beginning to think it’s time we stop avoiding the void.



It’s a miracle!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

I sat down to write my December newsletter last week.  I intended the subject to be “Creating a Life Vision”…you know, with the new year around the corner.

But the first words I typed took me by surprise:

“I’ve been feeling restless lately. Unsettled. Out of sorts.”

That’s not at all what I’d expected to say! And you know what? I love when that happens….when writing turns into a voyage of self discovery. I decided to let the words flow and see what unfolded.
“Whenever I feel like this,” I continued, “it can only mean one thing. I need time to reflect…to hear what my soul is yearning to tell me.”

I promise you, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear…even though I knew it was the truth. I was craving solitude, but had no time for a time out. I had a gazillion things to do before I flew to Mexico for Christmas, including a business trip to the east coast.

And then my fingers, flying across the keys, made a pronouncement.  They (my fingers, not me!) publicly committed “to take time out, this month…even though at this moment, I have no idea how I’ll do it.”

I’m here to tell you, I was ready to hit the delete button on that one. There was virtually no room in my schedule for a retreat.  But I went ahead and sent out the newsletter. Then the damnedest thing happened.

The next day, I got an email from the East Coast client with the subject heading: No Travel. They cancelled the event, at the very last minute.

Suddenly, I had a few unscheduled days.  Instead of filling them with busyness, as I normally would, I sunk into the empty space like a tub of warm water, soaking in the luxury of unstructured time.

I share this with you because I promised to blog about it. But also, I share this as a reminder… not only of the power of commitment, but also the often pointless effort of trying to figure out how something’s going to happen.  My experience proves what Johann Wolfgang von Goethe  told us long ago:

“The moment one definitely commits oneself, providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man (or woman) could have dreamed would have come his (or her) way.”

Don’t you just love when miracles occur? Do you have any you’d care to share?

Fear & Resistance: Cracking the Code

Written by Barbara Huson

I did it!  I actually did it!  I showed My Man my financials…and he did the same.

And you know the biggest lesson I learned (yet again) from all this?  The fear of doing is always worse than the actual doing! Now, in hindsight, I wonder, “what the hell was the big deal anyway??”

The second biggest lesson: resistance wanes the closer you get to the root of it. The moment I realized it was my childhood fear of feeling different and not being accepted, those old demons didn’t seem nearly so threatening.

So here’s what happened:

We were sitting around the kitchen table. He had just made me eggs.  (Gotta love a man who cooks!!)  I showed him the recent blog about my old journal and my epiphany. (My Man…My Money…and Me)

He read it thoughtfully, then looked up at me and said, ever so gently:  “I totally understand.”

Without even thinking, I walked to the stack of mail on the kitchen counter and tore open an over-sized envelope. How perfect that my August financial statements had just arrived the day before. I pushed aside the dishes, spread out the papers, and said, “This is what I have.”

He listened, asked a few questions, and told me he was proud of the way I managed my money, especially given my history. Then, he described what he had in each of his accounts, I asked a few questions, and praised him for being so responsible.

I got up, washed the dishes, and we took a walk. That was it. It was a non-event.

But at the same time, it was clearly a turning point. We each realized, without saying a word, we’d taken our relationship to a new level of intimacy and trust.  And it felt really good!

 

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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