Living with Uncertainty

Written by Barbara Huson

Transitions are a bitch. And so many in my community are in the midst of one right now. As I listen to their frustration and confusion, I’m reminded of a cartoon:

A frog is leaping from one lily pad to another with a look of sheer terror as he realizes he’s about to miss his target. The caption read: ‘Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.

That’s exactly how it feels to be in transition—whether it’s a conscious choice (like taking a sabbatical) or an unwelcomed disruption (like being laid off). You’re poised mid-air between the old and the new, wondering “what do I do now?’

I remember my first big transition, back in the 80’s, when I moved from the Midwest to San Francisco…a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I felt untethered, disoriented, anxious. This wasn’t what I expected.

Thankfully, I discovered the book Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges. It was a godsend!

Why Willpower is Never Enough

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s a lot of talk these days about money mindset. But few are aware of the brain’s role in their financial success.

In a recent experiment, at the University of South Wales, students were told: “Whatever you do, don’t think about a red apple.” As you’d expect, most couldn’t get that image out of their mind. Which is quite normal.

But what about those who swore they’d successfully eradicated the image from their mind?

Well, according to brain scans, “even those people who are good at suppressing certain thoughts still harbor traces of the thought in [their brain’s] cortex.”

The Caterpillar Story

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s a story about two caterpillars who spy a butterfly overhead. One turns to the other and says “You’ll never get me up in one of those things.”

Have you ever felt like that caterpillar? Part of you may want to fly. But another part clearly doesn’t.

That’s precisely what’s going on whenever you feel stuck—you’re experiencing an internal conflict. Part wants to. Part doesn’t.

The trick to getting unstuck isn’t by denying or fighting your resistance. What you ignore, you empower. What you resist, persists.

I speak from experience. After my divorce, I tried hard to learn about money. I’d pick up a book, attend a class, only to fog up, glaze over, give up. Until one day, a therapist challenged me.

“I really want to get smart about money,” I told him, my voice tight with desperation.

He looked me straight in the eye and said, “No you don’t. You may say you want to get smart, but you really don’t.”

I couldn’t argue. In that moment, I met the part of me that desperately wanted to stay ignorant. The part that was terrified of angering her parents, losing everything, and most of all, afraid no man would love a financially savvy woman.

I spent months getting to know this part—her fears, concerns, early family messages and cultural conditioning.

I also kept repeating positive statements in an effort to fortify the other part. I AM smart about money. I AM excited to learn. I AM a great role model for my kids. I AM attracting a man who loves a powerful woman.

I now realize I was literally reprogramming my brain. Instead of dwelling on what scared me, I focused on what I wished to create, how I desired to feel…even if it seemed impossible. As science has proven, what flows through the mind, wires the brain.

Slowly the fog lifted. I actually began enjoying the learning process, seeing results, relishing how powerful I felt. And that hasn’t changed in over 40 years.

If you aren’t getting what you say you want, what do you think you’re afraid of? Leave me a comment below.

The “D” Word

Written by Barbara Huson

I just set my intention for 2023: Mental Discipline. That means, I’m going to consciously and rigorously make sure my thoughts are positive, uplifting, and loving (especially to myself).

I proudly shared my intention with a few friends. Their reaction was less than positive.

“That’s awfully harsh,” one said.

“Doesn’t sound appealing to me,” said another.

I wasn’t surprised. Clearly, the word ‘discipline’ tripped them up.

The Unhealthy Dependency on Self-Imposed Deadlines

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m making myself crazy. I’ve been doing it for months. Ever since I decided I was ready birth to my next body of work. In a fit of over-zealous optimism, I gave myself till spring to create a brand-new class, complete with a workbook.

Well, spring is quickly coming to a close. Neither the class or the workbook is near completion. Not even close. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—for missing my deadline.

I’m a big believer in setting deadlines. They’re terrific tools for staying on track. But, I’m recognizing, there’s a major downside to made-up deadlines.

The trouble comes when I don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, I scold myself severely for screwing up.

Fear of Success? Or Fear of Power?

Written by Barbara Huson

She sat across the table, looking like the savvy businesswoman she was.

As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.

Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”

“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward. I could tell this was difficult for her.

“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

When I asked what scared her, she replied, “I’m afraid people won’t like me. I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

How I Rewired My Brain for Higher Earnings…without even realizing I was doing it.

Written by Barbara Huson

Here’s a revealing exercise. How would you complete the sentence: I’d love to make more money, but_______________.

You probably came up with some perfectly good reasons why you can’t: “I’m too old. I’m too young. I don’t have time. I have little kids. I don’t want to work that hard.”

Your reasons may feel rational. But they are not the truth. They are simply deep-seated beliefs, messages you repeatedly heard growing up that have become deeply embedded in your brain.

These beliefs, far more than any external factors, are the reason you’re stuck in underearning. Whenever you attempt to do something contrary to your beliefs, your brain screams bloody murder: “Stop! Don’t go there! Danger! Danger!”

Overcoming Financial Paralysis

Written by Barbara Huson

I was newly divorced, raising 3 daughters, when I got tax bills for over $1m. My ex was responsible, but he left the country…leaving me with very little in the bank. My father refused to lend me the money. I was angry and terrified. I had no choice. I had to get smart about money.

I tried going to classes, reading books, but nothing made sense. I felt immobilized. Nowhere in those books or classes could I find a solution for my paralysis. Until I took matters in my own hands.

I stopped focusing on the practical mechanics of money and started plumbing the deepest recesses of my psyche. Writing in my journal proved profoundly revealing.

I became aware of a familiar voice that kept telling me how stupid I was. Instead of ignoring it or letting it hold sway, as I always did, I began a dialogue with that voice, asking it where it came from and what it wanted.

I immediately heard my father telling me, often and in no uncertain terms, that managing money was a man’s job. As a woman, I did not have what it took to deal with finances.

So of course, I was terrified that if I tried to take charge, I’d botch things badly, blow it all.

Rewiring Your Brain for Higher Earnings

Written by Barbara Huson

In my book, Overcoming Underearning, there’s a story about a snail climbing a cherry tree in the middle of winter. A beetle looks down, spies the snail slowly inching up the frozen bark, and cries out, “There ain’t no cherries up here.”

Unfazed, the snail replies, “There will be by the time I get there.”

That little snail offers us a potent formula for financial success. Think big. Act small. And, no matter what, never, ever stop until you attain your goal.

The idea is that if you do something everyday, no matter how small, no matter how brief, you will eventually arrive at your destination.

But it’s not just the practical, external steps that matter. The inner work is a critical factor.

The Difference Between Men & Women…in Investing

Written by Barbara Huson

For over 20 years, I’ve been baffled.

Sure, we women have become excellent dollar watchers and bargain hunters. But investors? Forget about it. We want to learn, but lack the confidence to act.

And here’s what’s really baffling. Once women enter in the market, we’re actually better investors than men. Key findings in a recent article on The Motley Fool, (https://www.fool.com/research/women-in-investing-research/) show that “female investors earn better returns than men—up to 1% in some studies and, on average, women lost 2.5% of their stock portfolio value in 2015, while men lost 3.8%.”

But, women are still less confident than men in their investing ability. Only 9% of women think they make better investors than men according a Fidelity report.

Neuroscience

Living with Uncertainty

Why Willpower is Never Enough

The Caterpillar Story

The “D” Word

The Unhealthy Dependency on Self-Imposed Deadlines

Fear of Success? Or Fear of Power?

How I Rewired My Brain for Higher Earnings…without even realizing I was doing it.

Overcoming Financial Paralysis

Rewiring Your Brain for Higher Earnings

The Difference Between Men & Women…in Investing

Meet Barbara Huson

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