Women & Power

Are You Really Playing Full Out? It Matters…A lot!

Which game are you playing? It’s an important question I learned from interviewing successful women.

They taught me that, in the world of work, you are either playing The Underearning Game or The High Earning Game. There’s a big difference between the two.

The Underearning Game is called Not To Lose. The goal is to stay safe, look good, and be comfortable. There’s only one rule—avoid anything that feels uncomfortable or scary.

The High Earning game is called To Win. The goal is to go as far as you can with all that you got, and when you fall down, you get back up and keep going. The only rule here—play Full Out.

Problem is, sometimes it’s hard to tell which game you’re actually playing. There are times when I swear I’m giving my all. Then later it hits me—I was fooling myself. I really wasn’t playing a true Full Out.

I Really Truly Want To…But I’m So Damn Scared!

You’re ready. It’s time to open your own business, ask for a promotion or set stronger boundaries. You truly want to take the next step.

But you can’t. Fear, like a colossal boulder, stands in your way.

Of course you’re afraid. Fear is a normal, inevitable, reaction any time you leave the comfort of the familiar and venture into the unknown.

The goal, here, is not to eliminate fear. Because you can’t. The goal is to act in spite of it. I love how writer Ray Bradbury put it.

“Just jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down,” he said, adding, “If you’re too cautious, you’ll miss life.”

There’s no way around it.  If you want success, there’s only one path: feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.

But hear this! You don’t have to do it alone. The best antidote to fear, for us women, is surrounding yourself with a supportive community.

As high earner Karen Page once told me: “Success is a social activity. You can’t do it alone. You just can’t.”  Amen to that!!

It’s precisely why I created my virtual community—The Wealth Connection—for financially aspiring women.

If you’re looking for a safe, welcoming place to talk openly, intimately, deeply about money, receive personal coaching from me, and encouragement, support & inspiration from the others, you can learn more HERE.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how a supportive community (of lack of one) has impacted you. Leave me a comment below.

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Joint vs Separate Accounts

If you’re married, or about to be, I have a question for you. Do you have money in your own name?

Even if you’re blissfully in love with each other, even if (s)he’s filthy rich or a financial genius, it’s critical to have your own economic identity–a bank account and credit card in your own name.

In part, it’s a matter of self-protection. If anything happens to your Prince(ss) Charming, you could be in big trouble.

Oh, the horror stories I’ve heard from women who couldn’t get credit or had all kinds of legal problems after losing a spouse through death or divorce because everything was listed under their spouse’s name.

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Success Insists: “Toughen Up…But Not Like A Man!”

We women, by nature, tend to be pleasers. We want everyone to be happy with us. Believe me, successful women are no different. Almost all the high earners I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

Yet these women were continually required to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often had negative consequences for other people. The secret to their success: they had to toughen up.

‘Toughening up’ does not mean we have to harden our hearts, numb our senses, or act like men. The women I interviewed taught me four techniques for becoming strong, effective leaders without compromising their feminine nature.

The Unhealthy Dependency on Self-Imposed Deadlines

I’m making myself crazy. I’ve been doing it for months. Ever since I decided I was ready birth to my next body of work. In a fit of over-zealous optimism, I gave myself till spring to create a brand-new class, complete with a workbook.

Well, spring is quickly coming to a close. Neither the class or the workbook is near completion. Not even close. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—for missing my deadline.

I’m a big believer in setting deadlines. They’re terrific tools for staying on track. But, I’m recognizing, there’s a major downside to made-up deadlines.

The trouble comes when I don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, I scold myself severely for screwing up.

Power is Scary. Let’s Change That!

I’ve long known that women’s difficulties with money have little to do with money per se and everything to do with their fear of power.

In a 2012 study, “Women and the Paradox of Power,” 38% of respondents said they’d rather be well-liked than powerful. As if the two were mutually exclusive.

Our confusion around power should come as no surprise. Historically, girls haven’t been groomed, expected, or encouraged to be successful, powerful adults.

If anything, we were raised to be the power behind the throne, often punished for even aspiring higher.

I’m convinced, beneath our dislike of or discomfort with power, lurks a deeper, more ominous concern—the dire consequences we might suffer if we become truly powerful.

Inflation: A Reason to Worry….Or A Call to Action?

Even the wealthiest worry about money. Their biggest fear: Inflation.

Inflation is, indeed, a ravenous creature that devours our cash like a caterpillar on a leafslowly, methodically, little bits at a time.

For years, however, inflation has stayed quite low. But that’s rapidly changing. Inflation has hit its highest rate in more than 40 years. And it’s expected to keep escalating.

Is it time to start worrying? Heavens NO! The worst response to climbing costs (or most anything else for that matter) is to go into fear, which tends to have a paralyzing effect.

Instead, look at rising inflation as a resounding call to action…no matter how much or how little money you have.

Getting Past Guilt

There’s an old joke: What do you call a woman who feels no guilt? A man. You may laugh. But sadly it’s true. Studies have confirmed that indeed women suffer significantly more guilt than men.

Guilt, simply put, is feeling as if you’ve done something wrong or bad. Every time you deviate from the norm, from what you ‘should’ do, your Ego goes berserk, using guilt, like a whip, to keep you in check, warning of dreadful consequences if you disobey its rules.

Guilt is self-destructive, immobilizing, a short cut to unhappiness, a hindrance to healing. You know you’re acting from guilt whenever you hear yourself saying I should….

As my dear friend and songwriter, Athena Burke, always says, “Anything that comes after ‘I should’ is a lie.” Our Ego’s lie.

The Link Between Wealth and Power

I once heard it explained that when you have more money than you need, that’s wealth. When you use your money to make a difference, that’s power. In my experience, wealth and power are inextricably intertwined.

Once a woman becomes financially secure, her motivation shifts from making more money to leaving a legacy, to giving back to others in ways that fill her with meaning and pleasure, while imbuing her with the power and the ability to make an impact.

I am convinced that successful women offer our greatest hope for healing the planet. And I believe you are meant to be one of them—if you aren’t already.

So I ask you: What will your legacy be? This question cuts right to the core of why you’re here and the mark you wish to make after you’re gone. Your desired legacy serves as an internal compass, guiding your daily decisions in the direction of your optimal future.

Please…Stop Settling for Less When You Deserve More!

Let me ask you a question. When are you going to stop settling for less and start opting for more?

And, believe me, this isn’t just about money. When you decide to raise your sights financially, something profound will occur.

You’ll not only increase your income, but you’ll unearth your true essence. That’s what happened for me and I’ve repeatedly heard the same from others.

The successful woman I’ve interviewed often spoke more animatedly about their private awakening than their financial advancement, about breaking through the boundaries that had limited not only their livelihood, but their entire existence.

Numerous psychologists have told me that the amount people earn indicates how they feel about themselves, like a mirror reflecting back their level of self-worth.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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