Women & Power

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs that Limit Your $uccess

Dear Entrepreneur,

If success eludes you and profits are paltry, a new study sheds important light on your situation. Being a business owner myself, I found it quite illuminating.

All 357 female entrepreneurs surveyed knew what they needed to do to grow their business. Yet they “expressed doubt” about taking those steps due to their limiting beliefs.

“Female entrepreneurs limit their business success because they hold beliefs that lead to small actions instead of big ones,” the study reported. Or they may avoid taking any action altogether.

Bottom line:  The more limiting your beliefs, the lower your earnings.

The study was brought to my attention by Catherine Bown, a member of my online community, The Wealth Connection, sales trainer and one of the six researchers of the study.

Savings Can Be Fun! (Who Knew????)

She had long avoided savings. Until she got an idea. What if the next time she did something scary, she rewarded herself by contributing a small amount to a saving account?

“Today I dealt with a confusing problem at work and got it resolved,” she explained in The Wealth Connection chat group, “So I just added a dollar to my savings!  It’s a great feeling. I’m having a lot of fun saving! “

The moral of this story:  Savings can actually be fun when you frame it as a reward.

Positive reinforcement—anything from patting yourself on the back to paying yourself a dollar—works for one simple fact. It feels good…which triggers the release of pleasurable chemicals like dopamine, encouraging your brain to keep repeating the behavior.


If you’re not where you want to be financially, consider this. Your difficulties may have little, if anything, to do with money, but your fear of or ambivalence about power…because you don’t understand true power.

Basically, there are 3 kinds of power:

1. Power Over (Domination)

2. Power With (Collaboration)

3. Power-From-Within (Dominion).

The drawback with the first two is that exercising power depends on others cooperating.

Shifting from Financial Misery to Financial Miracles in 3 Steps

I spent much of my adult life in financial turmoil. Even as I learned more about money, I still felt out of control. Then everything changed.

The answer didn’t come from a financial text, but a spiritual one, A Course in Miracles.

From the Course I learned that we have “two thought systems” or two distinct “voices” in our head:

  • The voice of Fear (the Ego).
  • And the voice of Love (the Soul).

The Soul and the Ego have conflicting agendas. Thus, they produce dramatically different results–either miracles or misery.

You cannot follow two masters,” the Course warns. “There is no compromise between the two.”

The Power of Philanthropy

Let’s talk about philanthropy. This is where the real power and true joy resides.

I first realized this when I interviewed smart women for my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money. I thought the whole purpose of taking the financial reins was to have more money in the bank.

But these women were telling me there’s more. Knowing how to invest wisely is merely the first part of taking fiscal responsibility. The other part, equally important, is recognizing you have the power to effect change.

I’m convinced this as an inevitable, evolutionary process. Once a woman becomes financially secure, there’s a natural progression from needing to get a grip on her money to wanting to extend her reach in the world.

As we stop waiting to be saved, we start wanting to serve. As we figure out how to invest for the highest returns, we start wondering where we can invest to achieve the most impact.

Yet philanthropy is usually the least thought out, most disorganized, part of our financial activities. We give more thought to buying a pair of shoes than which causes we donate to.

The Secret to Success in Only Five Words

One day, I was glancing at the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words grabbed my attention. “The survival of the focused.”

I forget what the article was about. But I knew those five words carried a powerful message. A message High Earners live by. But one Underearners have failed to grasp.

Without focus, it’s easy to get sidetracked by multiple distractions fighting for your attention. But with focus, conflicting objectives cease to control you, making it easier (and less stressful) to take decisive action without second guessing.

What’s the trick to getting focused? Getting crystal clear on your priorities, what’s really important to you.   All else goes on the back burner.

It’s Time to Toughen Up!

Want to know  the big secret to financial success? I got it straight from the mouths of women who make six and seven figures.

If you want to play a bigger game, you’ve got to toughen up!

Toughening up means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By  nature, we women want everyone to be happy with us. Successful women are no different. Almost all I interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.” 

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

In fact, virtually all the women I interviewed told me that their biggest regret was not making tough decisions sooner.

Problems Are Starting Points

I had a profound revelation while interviewing successful women. Their financial achievements were invariably preceded by a financial challenge.

That’s when I realized: problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get your attention.

The place to begin is admitting what’s not working in your life. It could be anything from bankruptcy or burn out; from feeling undervalued or overworked; from getting a divorce, or desperately wanting one

No matter how subtle, how small, or how sizable and scary, your willingness to face the problem head on is the first step to breaking through it.

The Feminine Face of Power

I wish men better understood the feminine face of power. I believe they are as afraid of our power as we are!

One high earner may have nailed it when she told me, “I think men are afraid that if you give a woman too much power, we’ll skewer them in public one day.”

Men need to know we’re not seeking domination for ourselves, submission from them, or any form of retribution. That’s not how we roll.

We want to share power, not usurp it. We want power “with,” not power “over.”

Don’t Even Try…

We all have our internal critics. The part that tell us what we can’t possibly do. Mine insists, quite convincingly: “You can’t do that! You don’t have what it takes.”

Those voices may never shut up.  But just because you hear voices in your head, doesn’t mean you have to follow them.

As Vincent Van Gogh once said: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you can not paint,’ by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.” 

Indeed, keep reminding yourself: “that’s not my voice.” It’s the voice of a parent, the culture, teachers, friends, something ‘out there.’ But it isn’t mine.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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