People often ask me what were the biggest surprises I had when interviewing successful women. This is definitely one.

I never expected how many told me they were actually grateful for past tribulations.

In fact, most admitted, they might never have succeeded had they not been challenged. They considered their past problems an asset and, even more, they appreciated themselves for tackling them head on.

Nothing gets in the way of financial success more than repressed anger.

In my experience, women in general hold a tremendous amount of unexpressed anger, though few realize it.

I certainly did but had no idea.  Until a therapist pointed out that I was carrying a lot of repressed rage, which was holding me hostage, unable to move forward.

As I worked on discharging my wrath, I had a revelation. Anger is simply energy. Repressed anger immobilizes. Released anger galvanizes.

When you find healthy ways to let go of resentment, you begin to notice a direct link between anger and power. Suppressing one inhibits expressing the other.

If you suspect you, too, may have some buried anger, I invite you to write an angry letter. Write it to your parents or ex-husband or maybe yourself. Write it by hand, not on a computer.

When you’re finished, burn the letter. As you watch it burn, say to your anger: “Thank you. You served me once. I no longer need you. I release you. Now I am free.”

“I really want to make more money,” she said, sighing heavily.  “But I find it difficult being comfortable asking for what I’m worth.”

This woman was missing the point. I don’t know anyone who feels comfortable raising their prices or asking for a raise. Yet, underearners will sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.

It’s astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called Comfort Zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They’re just familiar and predictable.

Whenever you decide to do something different–whether it’s making more money or losing more weight—you must enter the Discomfort Zone–the space between where you are now and where you want to be.

“What are the secrets to being wealthy?” she asked, a tinge of desperation in her voice. “I feel like rich people know these secrets that I never learned.”

She was right. There are Secrets to creating wealth. And I understood her frustration. I struggled with this same question for years, never getting a satisfactory answer.

The truth is, very few people actually understand how to become a Wealth Builder. Everyone, however, knows how to be a Consumer.

As a Consumer, when money comes in, you go out and spend it. Granted, you may be an excellent Dollar Watcher and Bargain Hunter. But that’s not how you build wealth.