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6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies

I’ll never forget the day I asked my mother, “Do you know what Dad has planned for you when he dies?”  He was seriously ill. She was having a hard time.

“Of course I do,” she replied. But when I pressed her for details, she couldn’t deliver.

But she made it abundantly clear: This was not a conversation she wanted to have.  I made it even clearer:  Avoidance was not an option.  Here’s what we did:

1. We had “The Talk.” I made my Mom sit down with my Dad and we looked at all the financial documents:  bank statements, investments, estate planning, etc.  This was not, by any means, an easy conversation.  Nerves were frayed.  My Mom glazed over.  My Dad lost patience.  I kept scratching my wrist (a nervous habit) until it bled.  But by the end, my Mom knew where every penny was and what arrangements he had (and hadn’t) made.

The Only Antidote for Fear

 It’s hard not to freak out these days. Between all the political hostility, global wars, and precarious economy, how’s a girl supposed to stay positive and avoid panicking? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.

Then I remembered a helpful antidote to fear that I once assigned participants during a retreat I gave. I asked them to keep a Receiving Journal. I did it too.

Writing in a Receiving Journal serves the same purpose as tracking your spending. But instead of increasing your awareness of money going out, a Receiving Journal forces you to face all the abundance flowing in.

 As A Course of Miracles tells us: “Every day a thousand treasures come to me with every passing moment.”  The problem, however, is that we fail to notice those frequent treasures, especially when fear is ever-present.  

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A Valentine Letter to My Money

My dearest Money,

Happy Valentines Day to the most perfect lover I could ever imagine. You have served, supported and protected me so beautifully as I’ve grown older. And for that, I owe you my deepest gratitude.

But I admit it wasn’t always that way. Consider this my long overdue apology.

I know I haven’t made it easy for us to be together. For years, I neglected you. You seemed so confusing and frightening. Sure, I tried to get to know you, but I always got scared and gave up.

When you finally left, it was a devastating blow. Yet it was also a gift.

During our separation, I realized how much I wanted you to love and take care of me. But I also realized, for that to happen, I had to love and take care of you too.

Living with Uncertainty 

Transitions are a bitch.  And so many in my community are in the midst of one right now.  As I listen to their frustration and confusion, I’m reminded of a cartoon:

A frog is leaping from one lily pad to another with a look of sheer terror as he realizes he’s about to miss his target. The caption read: ‘Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.

That’s exactly how it feels to be in transition—whether it’s a conscious choice (like taking a sabbatical) or an unwelcomed disruption (like being laid off). You’re poised mid-air between the old and the new, wondering “what do I do now?’

I remember my first big transition, back in the 80’s, when I moved from the Midwest to San Francisco…a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I felt untethered, disoriented, anxious. This wasn’t what I expected.

Thankfully, I discovered the book Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges. It was a godsend!

Why Willpower is Never Enough

There’s a lot of talk these days about money mindset. But few are aware of the brain’s role in their financial success. 

 

In a recent experiment, at the University of South Wales, students were told: “Whatever you do, don’t think about a red apple.” As you’d expect, most couldn’t get that image out of their mind. Which is quite normal.

 

But what about those who swore they’d successfully eradicated the image from their mind?

 

Well, according to brain scans, “even those people who are good at suppressing certain thoughts still harbor traces of the thought in [their brain’s] cortex.” 

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The 5 Truths of Feminine Power

Writing my second book, Secrets of Six Figure Women, changed my life. I, a chronic underearner actually became a high earner. Even better, I finally understood how to own my power, as a woman.

I want that for you too. My deepest desire is to help as many women as possible step firmly into their power. It’s time. The world needs us. To that end, I share the 5 Truths of Feminine Power.

Truth #1. I Know What I Want

Our power comes from the choices we make, choices that reflect who we are, not what someone else wants. Start by asking yourself: What do I really want? Then go deeper: If I had 6 months to live, what would I do, who would I be with, where would I live? And know that if this list doesn’t come close to where you are now and you’re unhappy, it’s a sign you’ve given your power away.

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Prince Charming Isn’t Coming—But 2024 Can Still Be Your Year of Wealth!

Take a guess. What’s the most popular new year’s resolution for 2024? Yep, you got it. According to a variety of sources from Forbes to CNBC, we all want more money.

As a wealth coach, it’s the #1 reason women have come to me for over 30 years. “I need more money,” they tell me.

“It’s so simple,“ I tell them. “All you have to do is spend less, save more, invest wisely.” 

“But I need to make more,” they tell me.

Then I explain that wealth doesn’t come from what you earn, but from what you keep, which requires following those 3 steps.

But I’m the first to admit; while the steps may be simple and straight forward, actually putting them into practice can be extremely challenging.

My “Ambitious” Challenge for 2024. Want to Join Me?

I’ve taken on an Ambitious Challenge for 2024. Well, it’s actually not ‘ambitious’ in the conventional sense.

In fact, most would say it was the exact opposite. But if you feel spiritually adventurous, I invite you to join me.

I call it the No-Goals Challenge. Here’s why I’m doing it…

Anna, my youngest daughter, and I have a “God Box” ritual we do every January 1st. We write down our goals for the year on slips of paper. Then we read each one aloud as we drop them in our God Box, deliberately giving those goals up to the Divine.

My New Year’s Prayer for You

Here is my prayer for the new year: May you, along with all women, realize that you have the capacity to create wealth and the confidence to actually do it.

I suspect, however, for some of you, the mere mention of the “W” word feels wrong, bad, like ‘how can I be rich when so many are poor?’ But consider the words of Abraham Lincoln: “If you want to help a poor person, do not be one.”

Let me be clear. Wealth is not an amount. It’s a mindset. You’re wealthy when you have more than enough, and you know it.  

Besides, creating wealth is about far more than amassing riches. It’s about who you have to become to attract, sustain and grow your money.

Ultimately, creating wealth requires you to wake up to the power you have, the enormous power, to not only create wealth but to use it to help others, to make a difference.

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The Caterpillar Story

There’s a story about two caterpillars who spy a butterfly overhead. One turns to the other and says “You’ll never get me up in one of those things.”

Have you ever felt like that caterpillar?  Part of you may want to fly. But another part clearly doesn’t.

That’s precisely what’s going on whenever you feel stuck—you’re experiencing an internal conflict. Part wants to. Part doesn’t.

The trick to getting unstuck isn’t by denying or fighting your resistance. What you ignore, you empower. What you resist, persists.

I speak from experience. After my divorce, I tried hard to learn about money. I’d pick up a book, attend a class, only to fog up, glaze over, give up. Until one day, a therapist challenged me.

“I really want to get smart about money,” I told him, my voice tight with desperation.

He looked me straight in the eye and said, “No you don’t. You may say you want to get smart, but you really don’t.”

I couldn’t argue. In that moment, I met the part of me that desperately wanted to stay ignorant.  The part that was terrified of angering her parents, losing everything, and most of all, afraid no man would love a financially savvy woman.

I spent months getting to know this part—her fears, concerns, early family messages and cultural conditioning.

I also kept repeating positive statements in an effort to fortify the other part. I AM smart about money. I AM excited to learn. I AM a great role model for my kids. I AM attracting a man who loves a powerful woman.

I now realize I was literally reprogramming my brain.  Instead of dwelling on what scared me, I focused on what I wished to create, how I desired to feel…even if it seemed impossible.  As science has proven, what flows through the mind, wires the brain.

Slowly the fog lifted. I actually began enjoying the learning process, seeing results, relishing how powerful I felt. And that hasn’t changed in over 40 years.

If you aren’t getting what you say you want, what do you think you’re afraid of? Leave me a comment below.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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