What scares us most about financial success is not that we may fall short, but that we may actually take flight.
I see it in so many women. I saw it myself. We’re terrified to discover that we might be ‘powerful beyond measure.’ And for good reason.
When we claim our power, we raise the stakes. Power insists we become responsible adults, the primary authority in our life…autonomous, accountable, and as singer/songwriter Helen Reddy crooned, “too big to ignore.”
You’re eager to play a bigger game. You’re smart, ambitious, with a solid plan in place. But, damn it, you can’t seem to make any headway.
Want to know what’s holding you back? Those devilish how-to’s, the belief that you must have it all figured out before you even begin.
Plotting every step in advance may feel safe, even smart. But it’ll blind you to all the unexpected opportunities that will inevitably appear.
I was stuck in this mindset most of my life…until I interviewed six-figure women.
Their stellar success followed a three-step strategy:
Step 2 is the game changer. Commitment acts like a magnet, attracting opportunities that often come disguised as coincidences. If you’re not seeing coincidences, it’s likely a sign that you’re not totally committed.
She was a high-level executive who hated her job. Her boss was a bully, the work was boring at best, and despite her massive salary, she could barely cover expenses. The thought of leaving terrified her.
I could tell she didn’t expect my first question.
“What was it like for you growing up?” I asked.
She paused before replying: “My mother was abusive. My father an alcoholic. Money was a huge source of stress. I was always walking on eggshells,”
“It sounds like you’re recreating your childhood in your job,” I pointed out.
“OMG,” she gasped. “I did the same in my marriage.”
She was shocked. I wasn’t.
While cleaning out my files, I discovered a crumpled-up article from the Wall Street Journal, with no date, but faded with age. The subject quickly grabbed my attention.
The reporter asked a bevy of the biggest super stars the secret to their stellar success. What he found surprised him…and fascinated me.
These luminaries—mostly pop singers, pro athletes, and movie stars–gave God all the credit.
Have you noticed, in gyms, when guys are lifting really heavy weights, they ask someone, often a perfect stranger, to spot them? How many times have you seen a woman tap someone to help them? Hardly ever!
Why? Because we seldom lift very heavy weights; we don’t want to bother anyone; and we’re determined to do it alone.
But financial success requires you to lift heavier weights in order to build up your confidence, strengthen your resolve and climb to greater heights.
Studies have proven that a strong purpose is the secret to longevity. And in my experience, it’s the key to higher earnings.
What if you don’t know your purpose? Here are four places to look to help you find—or refine—your purpose:
1. In Past Pain
I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain, but it’s a good place to start looking. What has been your most painful challenge in life?
2. In World Problems
Ask yourself: What is the one problem in the world that you yearn to see solved, and would you be willing to spend the next 10 years of your life working on, talking about, and being part of the solution for?
3. In Childhood Play
As we look back at the tapestry of our lives, it’s easy to spot certain threads that show up in our youth and continually repeat, displaying an unwavering pattern holding clues to our purpose. What did you love to play as a kid?
4. In Secret Wishes
Once, someone asked me whose job would I love to have?” That was easy. Neil Diamond’s. Why? “I wanted to write my songs and sing them.” OK, so I can’t carry a tune. But I’ve managed to write my songs (books) and sing (teach) them. If you could have anyone’s job, which would it be?
It’s also quite possible for your purpose to shift throughout your life. Have you found your purpose? Tell me about it in a comment below.
Transitions are a bitch. And so many in my community are in the midst of one right now. As I listen to their frustration and confusion, I’m reminded of a cartoon:
A frog is leaping from one lily pad to another with a look of sheer terror as he realizes he’s about to miss his target. The caption read: ‘Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.
That’s exactly how it feels to be in transition—whether it’s a conscious choice (like taking a sabbatical) or an unwelcomed disruption (like being laid off). You’re poised mid-air between the old and the new, wondering “what do I do now?’
I remember my first big transition, back in the 80’s, when I moved from the Midwest to San Francisco…a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I felt untethered, disoriented, anxious. This wasn’t what I expected.
Thankfully, I discovered the book Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges. It was a godsend!
Writing my second book, Secrets of Six Figure Women, changed my life. I, a chronic underearner actually became a high earner. Even better, I finally understood how to own my power, as a woman.
I want that for you too. My deepest desire is to help as many women as possible step firmly into their power. It’s time. The world needs us. To that end, I share the 5 Truths of Feminine Power.
Truth #1. I Know What I Want
Our power comes from the choices we make, choices that reflect who we are, not what someone else wants. Start by asking yourself: What do I really want? Then go deeper: If I had 6 months to live, what would I do, who would I be with, where would I live? And know that if this list doesn’t come close to where you are now and you’re unhappy, it’s a sign you’ve given your power away.
Here is my prayer for the new year: May you, along with all women, realize that you have the capacity to create wealth and the confidence to actually do it.
I suspect, however, for some of you, the mere mention of the “W” word feels wrong, bad, like ‘how can I be rich when so many are poor?’ But consider the words of Abraham Lincoln: “If you want to help a poor person, do not be one.”
Let me be clear. Wealth is not an amount. It’s a mindset. You’re wealthy when you have more than enough, and you know it.
Besides, creating wealth is about far more than amassing riches. It’s about who you have to become to attract, sustain and grow your money.
Ultimately, creating wealth requires you to wake up to the power you have, the enormous power, to not only create wealth but to use it to help others, to make a difference.
Once upon a time, a very wise King decided to put a massive boulder in the middle of the road.
Everyone who walked by simply went around it. No one attempted to move it.
One day a poor peasant, carrying a load of vegetables, was walking down the road when he came upon the boulder. He put down his load, walked over to the giant rock and tried to push it aside.
It wouldn’t budge. He strained and struggled until finally it moved a bit. He kept at it until, slowly, he was able to shove it out of the way.
