To Earn More, Learn to Toughen Up (Without Hardening Your Heart)

Written by Barbara Huson

By nature, we women tend to be pleasers. We want everyone to like us.

High earners are no different. Almost every six-and seven-figure woman I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

But financial success requires us to make difficult, even painful decisions that often have negative consequences for others—like firing folks you like, holding tight in tense negotiations, enforcing an unpopular policy, dismissing high paying but difficult clients, enduring multiple rejections and disappointments.

So many women I interviewed regretted not making those tough decisions sooner. As one told me: “I kept trying to be nice. Eventually I had to toughen up.”

Toughening up doesn’t mean you have to harden your heart, numb your senses, or act all macho.

Toughening up does require a dramatic shift in mindset, which sounds like this: I’d rather be respected than liked.

4 Foolproof Techniques for Calming Fear

Written by Barbara Huson

I often ask under earners, “When’s the last time you did something you were scared to do?” They’d scratch their heads, seemingly stumped.

When I ask high earners, they laugh and say, “All the time. It’s a way of life.”

Ages ago, after one of those conversations, I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed. It still sits, framed, on my desk today.

Though Joseph Campbell put it far more eloquently: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

Admittedly, entering the Cave of Fear is…well…terrifying…for everyone. I have yet to meet a successful woman who hasn’t struggled with fear and self-doubt.

Observations From a Financial Therapist: Money Problems Are Never About Money

Written by Barbara Huson

Let me give you my perspective on why you’re having money problems. This comes from 25 years working as a Financial Therapist.

You know that financial difficulty you’re facing—big or small? It’s about far more than money. It is, in truth, the call of your Soul trying to get your attention.

This problem actually provides you with a powerful opportunity for personal transformation. But what begins as a whisper will, if ignored, grow increasingly louder.

When you finally decide to face your difficulty, you begin the process of becoming all you’re meant to be.

Confronting and solving a Financial Challenge is what opens the door between the life you now live and the life you could be creating. On the other side of that door lies your power.

When You Combine Profit with Purpose…Watch Out!!! (Part 1)

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve learned so much from interviewing high earners. Above all, I learned that a Profit Motive is a prerequisite for financial success.

But what propelled those women to higher levels was an added spiritual component, a deep commitment to a Higher Purpose.

While men tend to be motivated largely by profit, perks, and prestige, once we women are financially secure, we shift our focus to how we can serve.

“It happened when my mentality shifted to making a difference,” a successful financial advisor told me of how she went from six figures to seven. “You get to a point where you have more than you need, so you start thinking how you can help others.”

Thriving, Not Just Surviving…Post Pandemic

Written by Barbara Huson

The pandemic is hopefully subsiding. Many of you (including myself) may be wondering, as things change, how can I thrive, not just survive, financially?

After all, we are entering a ‘new normal.’ Unexpected doors may be opening. New opportunities may appear.

To make sure you thrive, you must heed these 5 words: Financial Success belongs to the focused.

Without focus, it’s easy to get sidetracked by multiple distractions fighting for your attention.

But with focus, conflicting objectives cease to control you, making it easier (and less stressful) to take decisive action without second guessing.

Admittedly, focusing can be frustrating for the multi-talented or very gifted. So what’s the trick to getting focused?

In a word: Prioritize. Focus exclusively on the tasks that will help you flourish financially. All else goes on the back burner.

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

Written by Barbara Huson

I admit it. When it comes to negotiating—anything—I always lapse into a temporary panic. Words like adversarial, nerve-wracking and intimidating leap to mind.

However, when I met Rhonda Noordyk and was a guest on her podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, my whole attitude changed. A former financial advisor, Rhonda left the industry in 2014 to become a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. She created The Woman’s Financial Wellness Center, devoted to ensuring women achieve financial justice in a divorce.

I was instantly impressed with Rhonda’s sunny disposition and her razor-sharp intelligence, so I invited her to speak to my online community, The Wealth Connection.

She completely transformed my view of negotiation by introducing the acronym, ANOT.

“It’s a very powerful acronym,” Rhonda explained. “Our clients have had 100% success rate with it. In fact, it’s great for all kinds of communications, even emails.”

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

She had just separated from her husband, moved to a new town and was trying to restart the coaching business she’d put on hold.

Yet she kept procrastinating doing the things she needed to do.

“I feel stuck,” she sighed. “Like I hit a brick wall.”

“You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.”

I spoke from experience. I remember, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco, a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I sank into a confusing funk. This wasn’t what I expected.

That’s when I read Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges and understood what was happening. A transition is a gradual psychological process of reorienting to the new situation.

Primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Members were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” Bridges writes, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.”

The wilderness is full of uncertainty, indecision, confusion, disorientation, vacillation–all a vital part of the reorientation process.

The ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. Or take decisive action. Or even make plans.

It is a time to feel our feelings, grieve our losses, practice self-care and, like the primitives, commune with our spirit guides.

We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

“The more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty,” I told my client, “the quicker you will get through it.”

Eventually, I assured her, your energy will return. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

How have you successfully navigated transitions in your life? Leave me a comment below.

Has It Clicked Yet?

Written by Barbara Huson

I call it the Click. It’s that ‘aha’ moment when you recognize, with every fiber of your being, that you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it

Without the Click, upping your income can be an uphill battle. But once you realize how capable you are, how much value you offer, barriers that once felt insurmountable will begin to disappear.

You see, there is a direct correlation between your level of self-esteem and the amount that you earn.

Virtually every high earner I interviewed for my books swore money was not her primary motivation. But at the same time, she fully expected to be highly compensated because she knew she was worth it.

How do you build that kind of self esteem? How do you access the Click? Simply put: Do
what you dread.

That’s probably not what you wanted to hear. But trust me, there’s no better way to boost your confidence than by doing what you are scared to do or don’t believe you can do.

A Grand Experiment in Mind Training (And A Gift to Support You)

Written by Barbara Huson

I spent New Year’s Day mulling over goals. Normally, I come up with a fairly long list of things I want to accomplish over the next 12 months. This year, however, I decided on only one.

Neuroscience research has convinced me that this single goal is so astonishingly powerful, that if I stick to it—and I fully intend to—will produce profound changes in my life. And yours too if you care to join me.

My one goal for 2021 is: Whenever I notice I’m having a negative thought, I will immediately replace it with a loving one.

Words are powerful. Language literally shapes our brain.

Whatever you repeat often enough—whether the words are in your head or come out your and mouth, even if they are a lie—your brain will hold as truth, your words become self-fulfilling prophecies and your behavior will follow suit.

Case in point: How drastically different conversations are with high earners than with their lower paid peers.

Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

Written by Barbara Huson

I clearly recall interviewing over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women. I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were indeed.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with crippling fear, chronic self-doubt and felt like a fraud, terrified others would find out—The Imposter Syndrome

That was exactly how I felt. But there was a difference between them and me at that time. They didn’t let fear and inadequacy stop them. Their courage inspired me.

In fact, after one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: “Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

Now, decades later, I look at those words and realize I need to add a critical caveat: “But Don’t Forget to Rewire.”

Success

To Earn More, Learn to Toughen Up (Without Hardening Your Heart)

4 Foolproof Techniques for Calming Fear

Observations From a Financial Therapist: Money Problems Are Never About Money

When You Combine Profit with Purpose…Watch Out!!! (Part 1)

Thriving, Not Just Surviving…Post Pandemic

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Has It Clicked Yet?

A Grand Experiment in Mind Training (And A Gift to Support You)

Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

Meet Barbara Huson

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