Negotiation—A Novel Approach

Written by Barbara Huson

I admit it. When it comes to negotiating—anything—I always lapse into a temporary panic. Words like adversarial, nerve-wracking and intimidating leap to mind.

However, when I met Rhonda Noordyk and was a guest on her podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, my whole attitude changed. A former financial advisor, Rhonda left the industry in 2014 to become a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. She created The Woman’s Financial Wellness Center, devoted to ensuring women achieve financial justice in a divorce.

I was instantly impressed with Rhonda’s sunny disposition and her razor-sharp intelligence, so I invited her to speak to my online community, The Wealth Connection.

She completely transformed my view of negotiation by introducing the acronym, ANOT.

“It’s a very powerful acronym,” Rhonda explained. “Our clients have had 100% success rate with it. In fact, it’s great for all kinds of communications, even emails.”

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

She had just separated from her husband, moved to a new town and was trying to restart the coaching business she’d put on hold.

Yet she kept procrastinating doing the things she needed to do.

“I feel stuck,” she sighed. “Like I hit a brick wall.”

“You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.”

I spoke from experience. I remember, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco, a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I sank into a confusing funk. This wasn’t what I expected.

That’s when I read Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges and understood what was happening. A transition is a gradual psychological process of reorienting to the new situation.

Primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Members were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” Bridges writes, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.”

The wilderness is full of uncertainty, indecision, confusion, disorientation, vacillation–all a vital part of the reorientation process.

The ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. Or take decisive action. Or even make plans.

It is a time to feel our feelings, grieve our losses, practice self-care and, like the primitives, commune with our spirit guides.

We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

“The more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty,” I told my client, “the quicker you will get through it.”

Eventually, I assured her, your energy will return. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

How have you successfully navigated transitions in your life? Leave me a comment below.

Has It Clicked Yet?

Written by Barbara Huson

I call it the Click. It’s that ‘aha’ moment when you recognize, with every fiber of your being, that you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it

Without the Click, upping your income can be an uphill battle. But once you realize how capable you are, how much value you offer, barriers that once felt insurmountable will begin to disappear.

You see, there is a direct correlation between your level of self-esteem and the amount that you earn.

Virtually every high earner I interviewed for my books swore money was not her primary motivation. But at the same time, she fully expected to be highly compensated because she knew she was worth it.

How do you build that kind of self esteem? How do you access the Click? Simply put: Do
what you dread.

That’s probably not what you wanted to hear. But trust me, there’s no better way to boost your confidence than by doing what you are scared to do or don’t believe you can do.

A Grand Experiment in Mind Training (And A Gift to Support You)

Written by Barbara Huson

I spent New Year’s Day mulling over goals. Normally, I come up with a fairly long list of things I want to accomplish over the next 12 months. This year, however, I decided on only one.

Neuroscience research has convinced me that this single goal is so astonishingly powerful, that if I stick to it—and I fully intend to—will produce profound changes in my life. And yours too if you care to join me.

My one goal for 2021 is: Whenever I notice I’m having a negative thought, I will immediately replace it with a loving one.

Words are powerful. Language literally shapes our brain.

Whatever you repeat often enough—whether the words are in your head or come out your and mouth, even if they are a lie—your brain will hold as truth, your words become self-fulfilling prophecies and your behavior will follow suit.

Case in point: How drastically different conversations are with high earners than with their lower paid peers.

Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

Written by Barbara Huson

I clearly recall interviewing over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women. I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were indeed.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with crippling fear, chronic self-doubt and felt like a fraud, terrified others would find out—The Imposter Syndrome

That was exactly how I felt. But there was a difference between them and me at that time. They didn’t let fear and inadequacy stop them. Their courage inspired me.

In fact, after one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: “Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

Now, decades later, I look at those words and realize I need to add a critical caveat: “But Don’t Forget to Rewire.”

Investing During a Pandemic…Isn’t it too Risky?

Written by Barbara Huson

Yes we’re in a pandemic. Yes, investing now may feel very risky. But understanding risk is what makes you wealthy. And so few people actually get it.

You want to know your most dangerous risk? It’s not the market’s gyrations. It’s your emotional reactions.

The emerging field of neurofinance has proven that most investors, regardless of gender, tend to act on emotions, not rational thinking, when making financial decisions.

The reason? Our brain registers risk even before we’re conscious of it. Consequently we tend to make rash decisions that rarely end well, even if we know better.

So when markets take a tumble, our emotions, especially fear, take over. And we make very bad decisions. It also happens in reverse.

A Spiritual Approach to Financial Angst

Written by Barbara Huson

I woke up this morning, with an almost obsessive thought. It’s time to preach the gospel of the Metafiscal.

Metafiscal, a word I coined, blends financial knowledge with metaphysical principles, melding the spiritual with the practical in regards to money. You don’t have to be religious to be Metafiscal. I’m certainly not.

But I do agree with Deepak Chopra who said, “We need a more spiritual approach to success and to affluence.”
Especially in the midst of so much financial angst and upheaval.

It’s no accident that “In God We Trust” is emblazoned on our currency. God can be whatever you’re comfortable with—a personified deity, a Higher Power, your inner wisdom or an all-encompassing energy far greater than our earthly selves.

When I was going through my financial crisis, with a million-dollar tax bill and no money in the bank, I was sure God had abandoned me. But eventually I realized, it was me who had abandoned God.

“When you think God has not answered your call,” declares A Course in Miracles, “you have not answered His.”

I did as the Course instructed. “Learn to be quiet, for His Voice is heard in stillness.” I spent hours in prayer, meditation, along with learning about money. Over time, the veils began to lift. Slowly I took the financial reins, and shockingly, I actually enjoyed the process.

I’m convinced that healing financial angst is not meant to be a solitary journey. When you focus on communing with the Divine, requesting guidance, developing a deep sense of trust in the inexplicable forces of the Universe, along with studying the practical facts, everything changes.

Financial success becomes a transformational journey, a sacred initiation, empowering you to become all you’re meant to be and to do what you’re put on this planet to do.

I’d love to hear how you’ve combined the spiritual with the practical in your financial journey. And if you haven’t, do you think it might be time? Leave me a comment below.

Don’t Let Your Brain Be The Boss!

Written by Barbara Huson

Quick. Pick one. Which would you rather have: (A) Higher earnings or (B) More in savings?

I’m guessing you went for (A). Most people do. We tend to be far more concerned with increasing our income rather than growing our net worth. But hey, it’s not our fault. That’s how our brain is wired.

A recent Cornell University study discovered that our brains are biased toward earning and against saving. Perhaps it’s the immediate gratification our paychecks offer while socking away savings feels about as gratifying as watching grass grow

“Fundamentally it comes down to this,” the study reported. “Saving is less valuable to our brains, which devote less attentional resources to it. Our brains find saving more difficult to attend to.”

If ever there was a strong case for rewiring our brains, this is it. Fixating on earnings can be fool hardy. I call it the Illusion of Affluence. I see it all the time with successful women. Their significant earnings give them the illusion, but not the security, of true abundance.

It’s a fact. Wealth doesn’t come from what you earn. Wealth comes from what you save. But wait…getting rich isn’t the only reason to be a saver.

Consider the title of a 2016 study: “How Your Bank Balance Buys Happiness: The Importance of “Cash on Hand” to Life Satisfaction.” This study, as reported in What the Elle (my favorite financial newsletter), found that higher savings is a better predictor of happiness and well-being than hefty incomes.

Add to that the result of the 2018 Ellevest Census: “The #1 confidence booster for women is saving and investing (63% of women ranked it over things like salary and education).

The message is clear. Don’t let your brain be the boss. Instead, train your mind to rewire your brain to focus on savings rather than obsessing about earnings. (If you haven’t read my free ebook, The Rewire Response, you can get on this page.)

Which would you choose: (A) A big fat paycheck or (B) lots of money set aside? Leave me a comment and tell me why.

Is Money Your Drug of Choice?

Written by Barbara Huson

How often do we use money, like Novocain, to numb the pain in our lives or the pressures at work? Instead of making things better, spending just gets us deeper into trouble.

Yet we justify our shopping sprees with thoughts like, “I’m going through a divorce. I deserve this,” or “I hate my job. At least I can enjoy my life.”

The real problem: we’re not honest with ourselves. Our denial produces considerable debt.

Getting out of denial is a prerequisite for prosperity. Credit card debt is insidious, but not insurmountable.

Making minimum payments can take 30 years or more to pay off (because 75 percent of what you pay goes toward the accumulating interest).

However, I’ve interviewed hundreds of women who have risen from the ashes of their once reckless spending. They did so by taking a series of steps:

They sought help (a book*, counselor, or support group like Debtors Anonymous)
They stopped using credit cards (no exceptions, no excuses)
They lowered their interest payments (negotiating with creditors or transferring the balance to a lowered interest card)
They got crystal clear on their expenses (writing down everything they spent)
They stopped overspending (by putting their expenses into categories, they saw where to Shave and Save)
They followed a plan to pay down their debt (www.nfcc.org can help)

What are you doing to get out of both denial and debt? Share here.

*I highly recommend How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt & Live Prosperously by Jerrod Mundis (based on the principles of DA)

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Written by Barbara Huson

Today is National Women’s Equality Day. Exactly 100 years ago the 19th amendment was passed, giving women the right to vote.

Honestly, I know I should be celebrating this victory. But I’m having a hard time getting in the mood.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m beyond grateful to those gutsy, courageous suffragettes.

But in the last few days, I listened to a Ted Talk by one of my favorite actresses, read a WSJ profile of an acclaimed microbiologist and coached a high level executive…all of whom wearily spoke of their struggles with sexism.

Clearly full equality is far from won. The Equal Rights Amendment, proposed in 1923, has yet to be ratified. Face it, we can’t rely on the government to level the playing field for us.

If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it. We can start by becoming the change we want to see in the world.

Success

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Has It Clicked Yet?

A Grand Experiment in Mind Training (And A Gift to Support You)

Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

Investing During a Pandemic…Isn’t it too Risky?

A Spiritual Approach to Financial Angst

Don’t Let Your Brain Be The Boss!

Is Money Your Drug of Choice?

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Meet Barbara Huson

Recent Blog Posts