In my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, I likened the process of financial independence to a Hero’s Journey.

However, as I have since discovered, Heroines follow a somewhat different path. But those differences are significant.

In traditional accounts, the male Hero, responding to “The Call” (something’s missing or was taken), sets out in search of treasure (the holy grail or helpless maiden). As he travels (outside his comfort zone), he battles dragons and experiences ordeals (his fears), ultimately finding the treasure (something outside of himself).

In this traditional telling, the man is the savior; the woman is the passive princess.

The Heroine’s Journey also begins with “The Call” (she’s unhappy or dissatisfied). Unfortunately, women too often respond by waiting to be saved.

There’s nothing like a burning goal to inspire you to go for it, full throttle. You’re excited to write a book. You’re eager to grow your savings. You yearn to start a business.

But what happens when you run into the inevitable speed bumps and road blocks?  The fire in your belly can rage out of control. Your drive turns to desperation.

You become convinced that if you don’t make it happen right now, it never will. Impatience is the enemy of success, the death knell to higher aspirations, a sure-fire path to mediocrity.

Your Ego, like an angry parent, is shrieking “hurry up or you’ll fall behind.”

These bogus threats are guaranteed to sap creativity, drain energy, delay progress.

Think about it. Aren’t all acts of self-sabotage really misguided attempts at self-protection?

Though very few of us see it that way.

Countless women come to me, chiding themselves unmercifully for sabotaging their success by making foolish decisions.  Maybe you’ve done it too.

Spending more than you have. Avoiding what you know is important.  Deferring decisions to another. Giving generously while depriving yourself.

Most of my adulthood was one giant act of financial self-sabotage. I avoided anything to do with money, giving my husband control, while I spent freely and gave generously.