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The Lesson at the Liquor Store 

So, I’m standing in line at the liquor store, holding 2 bottles of a Chardonnay on sale for $3.99. (Who can refuse a bargain like that?)

An elderly woman is paying the clerk. Behind her, in front of me, a scruffy guy with a bottle of Jack Daniels fumbles with the Lottery machine.

“Maybe I’ll win,” he says to no one in particular.

I say, remembering an article I once read, “Did you hear about the couple who won a $20 million lottery and gave it all away because they didn’t want it?”  I recall, at the time, thinking: why anyone would do that?

What if Your Money Problems Aren’t Actually About Money?

She was smart, successful, making good money…yet was at her wits end.

“There are periods when I manage to save a lot,” she told me. “But then I start overspending and ignoring my money. It’s like I can’t help it.”

Even after years of taking financial workshops, reading money books, doing personal growth work, she felt stuck in a frustrating pattern that was taking a toll on her health and her happiness.

“It feels like a vicious cycle I can’t get off,” she moaned.

She couldn’t stop because she didn’t have a money problem. She had a Money Disorder. There’s a big difference.

A Money Disorder is a chronic, self-destructive pattern caused by unconscious beliefs that cause dysfunctional behaviors associated with money.

Money Disorders, left untreated, can ruin your quality of life, wreck your relationships, destroy your peace of mind, leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless.

The Question is: How do you know if your difficulties with money are actually a more serious disorder?

According to an online article titled: 15 Fascinating Signs You May Have a Money Disorder, these are the classic symptoms:

  1. You can’t define what having ‘enough’ money means.
  2. You keep credit cards and bank account info from your partner.
  3. You keep piling on.
  4. You avoid spending money at all costs.
  5. You use money as a way to fill a void.
  6. You’re living in extremes.
  7. Your life is in chaos as a result of your spending habits.
  8. You’re in denial about your debts.
  9. You’re a workaholic.
  10. You’re a pathological gambler.
  11. Having money makes you feel guilty.
  12. You find it hard to say no when people ask for money.
  13. You give people money even if you know you’re enabling their poor financial choices.
  14. You lie to your partner about how much you spend.
  15. You refuse to talk about money at all.

If you have even one of these signs, the culprit is not financial, but as the article explains, it’s an “emotional and spiritual imbalance” which requires deeper, emotional healing with a skillful therapist.

I recommend working with someone who specializes in trauma therapy or joining a support group like my online community, The Wealth Connection.

To read the full article, click HERE.

How would you rate your relationship with money— a problem or a money disorder? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Why I Have a Problem with “Rich”

My passion is helping women become wealthy. I notice, however, I rarely, if ever, use the word ‘rich.’

I remember when, decades ago, David Bach sent me a copy of Smart Women Finish Rich. My first book had just been published, one of the earliest finance books geared to women, and he wanted to talk.

I loved what he wrote, but the word, ‘rich’ turned me off. I couldn’t understand why.

Then, last week, I received a newsletter from Nick Maggiulli, titled: Rich vs Wealthy: A Comprehensive Guide to Different Financial Lifestyles.

Finally, I realized why ‘rich’ never resonated.

It’s Time to Toughen Up!

Want to know  the big secret to financial success? I got it straight from the mouths of women who make six and seven figures.

If you want to play a bigger game, you’ve got to toughen up!

Toughening up means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By  nature, we women want everyone to be happy with us. Successful women are no different. Almost all I interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.” 

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

In fact, virtually all the women I interviewed told me that their biggest regret was not making tough decisions sooner.

Problems Are Starting Points

I had a profound revelation while interviewing successful women. Their financial achievements were invariably preceded by a financial challenge.

That’s when I realized: problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get your attention.

The place to begin is admitting what’s not working in your life. It could be anything from bankruptcy or burn out; from feeling undervalued or overworked; from getting a divorce, or desperately wanting one

No matter how subtle, how small, or how sizable and scary, your willingness to face the problem head on is the first step to breaking through it.

Having a Hard Time Saving and Investing? Let Me Make It Super Easy!!!

After my divorce from the gambling husband and after I paid the outrageous tax bills, my nest egg was almost depleted. But I had a few properties that paid rent every month.

One of the first things I did, when that rent came in, before I spent a cent, I immediately put a portion of it into savings. Otherwise, I knew I’d spend it all.

And I did it automatically. It was so simple. I filled out a form and the bank automatically transferred money from my checking account to savings. The amount was small at first, but it added up quickly. I didn’t even have to think about it.

Automating gave me discipline without having to work at it. It’s easy to say that you’ll move money monthly into savings. In practice, however, it just doesn’t happen. You forget. You overspend, You have a hundred excuses.

But by automating, you don’t miss what you don’t see. This was the beginning of my creating really good financial habits—habits I still practice today.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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