Rewiring

The Trinity of Trust

Years ago, I trusted my husband with my money. He was a stockbroker after all. But, alas, he lost almost everything. After our divorce, I was terrified to trust anyone again.

Then at some point it dawned on me. I couldn’t just ignore money. I needed to start trusting myself. But how? I was financially clueless.

If you’re in a similar situation, let me introduce you to what I’ve come to call the Trinity of Trust. It’s how I began the journey of reclaiming my power and taking financial responsibility

As I spent time connecting with each point on this triangle, I found myself building a firm foundation of trust in myself, in others who were trustworthy, and in the my Higher Power.

The Secret to Financial Miracles (for proof it works, read till the very end)

(This was inspired by a discussion last week, in my online community, The Wealth Connection. I listened with awe to women who put this principle into practice and reported miraculous changes.)

You want to create financial miracles? Let me tell you how.

The secret is deceptively simple, incredibly powerful, yet can be so uncomfortable, many won’t want to do it.

But if you’re willing to try, and you’re consistent in your efforts, you’ll experience significant change, often within a very short time.

The secret is this: Stop telling your old story.

Stop talking about your life as it’s been: your flaws, your fears, your sorrows and distress. And start talking about the life you desire to create: who you want to be, what you want to do, how you want to feel, as if it’s already true.

“What you share you strengthen,” A Course in Miracles explains.

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

She had just separated from her husband, moved to a new town and was trying to restart the coaching business she’d put on hold.

Yet she kept procrastinating doing the things she needed to do.

“I feel stuck,” she sighed. “Like I hit a brick wall.”

“You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.”

I spoke from experience. I remember, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco, a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I sank into a confusing funk. This wasn’t what I expected.

That’s when I read Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges and understood what was happening. A transition is a gradual psychological process of reorienting to the new situation.

Primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Members were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” Bridges writes, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.”

The wilderness is full of uncertainty, indecision, confusion, disorientation, vacillation–all a vital part of the reorientation process.

The ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. Or take decisive action. Or even make plans.

It is a time to feel our feelings, grieve our losses, practice self-care and, like the primitives, commune with our spirit guides.

We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

“The more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty,” I told my client, “the quicker you will get through it.”

Eventually, I assured her, your energy will return. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

How have you successfully navigated transitions in your life? Leave me a comment below.

The Secret to $uccess No One Ever Talks About

I was mystified. It was 1994. I’d begun researching my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, by interviewing women who worked in the financial industry—investment advisors, mortgage brokers, bankers, etc.

After all, I assumed, financial professionals were the perfect candidates to illustrate the book’s theme: how women went from being ignorant to smart about money.

Believe me, I never expected how many would tell me: “I do this for a living, but my own finances are a mess!”

How could that be?? Decades later I discovered the reason.  In a word, Self-Efficacy, or rather the lack of it.

Self-efficacy—a psychological concept developed by the Stanford psychologist Albert Bandera—is the belief that I can do whatever I decide to do, trusting I’ll succeed no matter what.

It’s the difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it, between being highly competent and feeling truly confident.

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All the Answers Aren’t ‘Out There’

I spent most of my adult life desperately trying to figure out finances. I dutifully went to classes, read books, talked to advisors. Nothing helped.

And then I began journaling about my experience. That’s when I had a realization that, I know now, began the rewiring process in my brain and I finally began to breakthrough my formidable blocks.

That realization led me to create a fundamentally different approach to empowering women financially—the approach I now call the Rewire Process.

I realized that traditional financial education focused almost exclusively on the practical facts. And in too many cases, it still does today.

But my experience taught me that when the facts don’t make sense and all of the practical knowledge makes no difference, the key may be hidden inside you.

As I wrote in my journal, I heard that familiar voice in my head telling me how stupid I was. But instead of letting that voice hold sway, as I always had, I decided to get to know it better. I asked the voice where it came from and what it wanted.

The Power of Celebration

Here’s a question for you. When was the last time you celebrated or simply acknowledged yourself for making the tiniest bit of progress—despite the difficulty?

Sadly, the answer for most will be ‘I can’t remember.’ Perhaps this is why so many struggle, in vain, to change.

Positive reinforcement—anything from patting yourself on the back to popping open the bubbly—works for one simple fact. Rewarding yourself feels good.

And any pleasant sensation triggers the release of pleasurable chemicals, like dopamine, encouraging the brain to keep repeating the behavior.

“It’s no secret that we derive pleasure from doing things we enjoy,” said neuroscientist Rui Costa, CEO of Columbia’s Zuckerman Institute. “The brain learns which activity patterns lead to feel-good sensations and reshapes itself to more efficiently reproduce those patterns.”

It’s why teachers give kids gold stars and cute stickers to encourage behaviors that may not come naturally or feel good right away.

Rewiring for Wealth is anything but pleasurable in the beginning because it often requires delayed gratification. There’s no immediate reward for spending less, saving more, or investing wisely. But the feel-good payoff for dining out, buying a new pair of shoes, or traveling to Tahiti is instantaneous.

A Grand Experiment in Mind Training (And A Gift to Support You)

I spent New Year’s Day mulling over goals. Normally, I come up with a fairly long list of things I want to accomplish over the next 12 months. This year, however, I decided on only one.

Neuroscience research has convinced me that this single goal is so astonishingly powerful, that if I stick to it—and I fully intend to—will produce profound changes in my life. And yours too if you care to join me.

My one goal for 2021 is: Whenever I notice I’m having a negative thought, I will immediately replace it with a loving one.

Words are powerful. Language literally shapes our brain.

Whatever you repeat often enough—whether the words are in your head or come out your and mouth, even if they are a lie—your brain will hold as truth, your words become self-fulfilling prophecies and your behavior will follow suit.

Case in point: How drastically different conversations are with high earners than with their lower paid peers.

Don’t just Resolve…Rewire!

The ritual begins the morning after Christmas. I wake up wondering about the coming year. As I write, 2021 looms before me like a blank canvas and I ask myself—how do I want to fill it?

Thus begins the Annual Writing of My New Year’s Resolutions. I suspect many of you may be doing the same.

Even if you don’t actually write them down, I imagine you contemplating what you want to achieve in the coming 12 months.

We do it even though we know that New Year’s Resolutions rarely work. In fact, 80% of us give up by the second week in February.

That’s why I’m doing it differently this year. I’ve discovered another way, a better way, to bring those Resolutions into reality. Don’t just Resolve…Rewire!

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The Immense Power of Shifting Your Perception

“There is another way of looking at the world.”  When I read those words in A Course in Miracles (ACIM), I had no idea what a game changer they would be for me.

I realize now, after studying neuroscience, the Course was telling me a profound, but simple, secret to creating miracles AND rewiring your brain.

The secret is this: whenever you’re upset, disturbed or challenged, say to yourself: “There must be another way of seeing this.” 

Then consciously and consistently change, or reframe, the way you interpret an event. It makes no difference if it’s true or not.

The moment you start telling yourself a new story, your brain’s wiring will change. And when your brain changes, your world changes miraculously.

Admittedly, reframing can be difficult. I’ve found three techniques that have helped me shift my perception—and, as I’ve only recently understood—reprogram my unhealthy beliefs and behaviors into much healthier ones (which, in itself, is a miracle).

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Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

I clearly recall interviewing over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women. I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were indeed.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with crippling fear, chronic self-doubt and felt like a fraud, terrified others would find out—The Imposter Syndrome

That was exactly how I felt. But there was a difference between them and me at that time. They didn’t let fear and inadequacy stop them. Their courage inspired me.

In fact, after one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: “Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

Now, decades later, I look at those words and realize I need to add a critical caveat: “But Don’t Forget to Rewire.”

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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