The Only Antidote for Fear

 It’s hard not to freak out these days. Between all the political hostility, global wars, and precarious economy, how’s a girl supposed to stay positive and avoid panicking? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.

Then I remembered a helpful antidote to fear that I once assigned participants during a retreat I gave. I asked them to keep a Receiving Journal. I did it too.

Writing in a Receiving Journal serves the same purpose as tracking your spending. But instead of increasing your awareness of money going out, a Receiving Journal forces you to face all the abundance flowing in.

 As A Course of Miracles tells us: “Every day a thousand treasures come to me with every passing moment.”  The problem, however, is that we fail to notice those frequent treasures, especially when fear is ever-present.  

Living with Uncertainty 

Transitions are a bitch.  And so many in my community are in the midst of one right now.  As I listen to their frustration and confusion, I’m reminded of a cartoon:

A frog is leaping from one lily pad to another with a look of sheer terror as he realizes he’s about to miss his target. The caption read: ‘Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.

That’s exactly how it feels to be in transition—whether it’s a conscious choice (like taking a sabbatical) or an unwelcomed disruption (like being laid off). You’re poised mid-air between the old and the new, wondering “what do I do now?’

I remember my first big transition, back in the 80’s, when I moved from the Midwest to San Francisco…a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I felt untethered, disoriented, anxious. This wasn’t what I expected.

Thankfully, I discovered the book Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges. It was a godsend!

Why Willpower is Never Enough

There’s a lot of talk these days about money mindset. But few are aware of the brain’s role in their financial success. 


In a recent experiment, at the University of South Wales, students were told: “Whatever you do, don’t think about a red apple.” As you’d expect, most couldn’t get that image out of their mind. Which is quite normal.


But what about those who swore they’d successfully eradicated the image from their mind?


Well, according to brain scans, “even those people who are good at suppressing certain thoughts still harbor traces of the thought in [their brain’s] cortex.” 

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Prince Charming Isn’t Coming—But 2024 Can Still Be Your Year of Wealth!

Take a guess. What’s the most popular new year’s resolution for 2024? Yep, you got it. According to a variety of sources from Forbes to CNBC, we all want more money.

As a wealth coach, it’s the #1 reason women have come to me for over 30 years. “I need more money,” they tell me.

“It’s so simple,“ I tell them. “All you have to do is spend less, save more, invest wisely.” 

“But I need to make more,” they tell me.

Then I explain that wealth doesn’t come from what you earn, but from what you keep, which requires following those 3 steps.

But I’m the first to admit; while the steps may be simple and straight forward, actually putting them into practice can be extremely challenging.

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The Caterpillar Story

There’s a story about two caterpillars who spy a butterfly overhead. One turns to the other and says “You’ll never get me up in one of those things.”

Have you ever felt like that caterpillar?  Part of you may want to fly. But another part clearly doesn’t.

That’s precisely what’s going on whenever you feel stuck—you’re experiencing an internal conflict. Part wants to. Part doesn’t.

The trick to getting unstuck isn’t by denying or fighting your resistance. What you ignore, you empower. What you resist, persists.

I speak from experience. After my divorce, I tried hard to learn about money. I’d pick up a book, attend a class, only to fog up, glaze over, give up. Until one day, a therapist challenged me.

“I really want to get smart about money,” I told him, my voice tight with desperation.

He looked me straight in the eye and said, “No you don’t. You may say you want to get smart, but you really don’t.”

I couldn’t argue. In that moment, I met the part of me that desperately wanted to stay ignorant.  The part that was terrified of angering her parents, losing everything, and most of all, afraid no man would love a financially savvy woman.

I spent months getting to know this part—her fears, concerns, early family messages and cultural conditioning.

I also kept repeating positive statements in an effort to fortify the other part. I AM smart about money. I AM excited to learn. I AM a great role model for my kids. I AM attracting a man who loves a powerful woman.

I now realize I was literally reprogramming my brain.  Instead of dwelling on what scared me, I focused on what I wished to create, how I desired to feel…even if it seemed impossible.  As science has proven, what flows through the mind, wires the brain.

Slowly the fog lifted. I actually began enjoying the learning process, seeing results, relishing how powerful I felt. And that hasn’t changed in over 40 years.

If you aren’t getting what you say you want, what do you think you’re afraid of? Leave me a comment below.

Could You Be Asking the Wrong Question?  

Feeling stuck? Confused? Weighed down with worry?  If you’re like most people, you’re probably asking yourself the wrong question. And wondering why you’re not making progress.

Try this. Stop wondering: “What should I do?  and start asking yourself: “What do I need to let go of?”  

Letting Go is a powerful strategy few people fully appreciate.  When you pinpoint what’s holding you back, and are willing to let it go, miracles occur.  But be warned.  The very thing you need to let go of will be the very thing you’re most afraid to give up.

Here’s an example of what can happen when you ask yourself this powerful question.

Dee called me, desperate to get out of debt. As we talked, it became apparent. Dee’s house was more than she could afford. But she couldn’t bear to let it go.  

Her home was her sanctuary, a quiet retreat, tucked away in a leafy, little village, worlds away a from all the hustle-bustle of the big city. She never locked her doors. Her closest friends were her neighbors. How could she ever let it go?   

Yet it was painfully clear—her best way out of debt was to sell. It broke her heart, but it was the right thing to do. The moment she made the decision to sell, the miracles began.  

She’d just sat down to write a newspaper ad when there was a knock on the door.  A man introduced himself as the father of her next-door neighbor. He wondered if, by any chance, she’d consider selling her house.

Dee’s jaw dropped, but she kept her cool. They closed the deal that very day, for $15,000 above what would’ve been her asking price. And the man paid cash (yes, a big wad of cash, which went to her creditors and the rest into savings)

Dee misses her house, but the relief in her voice was palpable. In fact, she was surprisingly excited about the houses available in her price range.

Let Dee’s experience inspire you.  Letting go creates space for something better to come.  

What do you need to let go of? Are you ready to take the leap and watch what happens? Leave me a comment below.

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How Shame Impacts Finances

It was a conversation with a friend I’ll never forget. Her family was dirt poor. Mine was quite wealthy. Our childhoods were starkly different, but we shared a startling similarity.


Growing up, we both felt tremendous shame around our family’s finances. I hated being different from my friends. She loathed feeling less than her peers. I never knew if people liked me for me or my rich parents. She always suspected others pitied or looked down on her.

That’s when I realized: Money Shame is ubiquitous regardless of one’s economic status. But it’s not the money (or lack of it) that causes shame. Money simply magnifies the shame we’ve always carried.

Shame is the intense pain of feeling so awful, so flawed, so defective that we’re convinced we’re worthless and unlovable.


I believe unhealed shame is perhaps the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially.  Because when shame is triggered, the logical thinking part of our brain virtually shuts down.

The Subtle Art of Self -Sabotage

There’s a line in A Course in Miracles that, long ago, had a big impact on me: “What you share you strengthen.”  

It was when coach gave me an intriguing assignment that the line really came to life for me.  For 2 weeks, I was to simply observe my conversations, without changing a thing. Just notice what I talked about, the words I used, my typical reactions…you know, the stuff I was sharing with others.

What I saw was not pretty.  I was constantly putting myself down, without ever realizing it. I’d dismiss my skills (“Oh, that’s no big deal”). I’d deflect praise (“I thought I was awful”). I’d diminish my successes (“But I could’ve done so much better”).

Trauma—a Curse or a Catalyst?

A recent headline caught my eye. “How Trauma Can Become A Catalyst For Personal Growth.”

The subject of trauma seems to be trending these days. Or maybe I’m noticing it more now because I’ve been cursed by a series of calamities.

Starting in 2020, I’ve watched my mother die, my daughter suffer a painful illness, my best friend’s cancer return, and my 12th surgery in less than 3 years. All during the pandemic! My struggles with anxiety, insomnia, anger, grief, and fear are classic symptoms of PTSD.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Pain

Years ago, during a devastating crisis, I saw a quote that struck a nerve: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” 

I felt the deep wisdom in those words. Yet I couldn’t figure out how to apply them to my life. Here I was, facing a crushing divorce from a compulsive liar, a million-dollar tax bill I couldn’t pay, and my parents refusing to help. Left alone to raise 3 young daughters, I was terrified.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered—Is it really possible to find peace in the midst of pain? The answer escaped me…

Until this week…when Katie Adler, a member of my online community, shared an article about Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi, an ancient Japanese philosophy, is all about finding peace and beauty in imperfection. And it offers a simple but practical formula for experiencing pain without suffering:

“Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life.” 

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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