Women & Power
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Pruning vs Pushing

A little over 10 years ago, in a rush of adrenalin brought on by a surge of ambition, I suddenly shifted into high gear. I hired a team, restructured my website, created a new marketing campaign, purchased complicated new software, and created all sorts of new products. I was driven.

Until my enthusiasm dwindled and I couldn’t understand why. The answer came loud and clear when I helped my daughter, an organic farmer, prune the fruit trees.

“If you don’t prune back most of the new buds,” Anna explained, “too much of the tree’s energy goes into producing foliage instead of growing fruit. You don’t want the trees to spread themselves too thin, reducing the amount of fruit they bear.”

The metaphor was inescapable. I was that fruit tree, spreading myself too thin, letting too many budding projects sap my creativity, my energy, my focus.

Busyness, or the act of spreading oneself too thin, is an occupational hazard for high achievers. It’s basically the absence of discipline. Discipline means doing with discernment, thoughtfully pruning rather than tirelessly pushing.

I wonder if we instinctively recoil from discipline, like a kid ordered to eat veggies. It may be good for us, but damn it, we’re not going to like it and we’ll try anything to get out of it.

Instead we slip straight into our drug of choice. I call it ABTS—“Addicted to Busyness Syndrome.”  We stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential and what’s truly irrelevant.

But ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down.

Over time, I learned to value Disciplined Action—making prudent, sometimes unpleasant choices, doing what I need to do to, even if it’s not what I want to do. It’s the only thing I’ve found that allows me to successfully do what I love without sacrificing my sanity, or my Soul.

Where are you pushing in your life when you should be pruning? Leave me a comment below.

 

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Financial Challenges are Your Friend

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Anyone can create wealth. Yes, even you, regardless of your current situation. I’ll tell you how.

First, pinpoint your biggest Financial Challenge. It could be anything from a gnawing sense you’re unhappy at work to the gut-wrenching pain of staggering debt.

Next, realize that this Financial Challenge is about far more than money. It‘s a profound opportunity for personal transformation; the call of your Soul trying to get your attention;  the starting point for creating wealth and claiming your power.

Finally, by committing to resolve your Financial Challenge, you’ll open the door between the life you now live and the amazing life that’s patiently waiting for you to take action.

There is no magic bullet for resolving a Financial Challenge. Nor would you want one. It is the process that’s empowering, a three-pronged process:

1) The Outer Work of Wealth—adhering to the Rules of Wealth: Spend less; Save More; Invest Wisely.

2) The Inner Work of Wealth—exploring your attitudes, beliefs and early decisions you made about yourself and money.

3) The Higher Work of Wealth—understanding the laws of the Universe so you can manifest your destiny and make a difference in the world.

As you begin taking small steps to resolve your Financial Challenge, one of two things will happen. Either you’ll resist, give up and fall back into the familiar. Or your life will dramatically change, not only with money, but in other areas as well.

What’s your biggest financial challenge? Are you ready to resolve it? Leave me a comment below.


Take action to bring your dreams to life. My virtual community, The Wealth Connection, is the place to find the support you need. Join Today!

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Are You an Underearner? Part 2

Underearners (UEs) can be hard to spot. Here are seven traits that all UEs share.

1.  Live in financial chaos—UEs tend to go from one financial crisis to another, struggling to make ends meet, often drowning in debt.

2.  Vagueness about money—UEs usually have no idea how much money

they have, earn or need and depend on wishful thinking instead of strategizing and negotiating.

3.  Underestimates worth—UEs give away their time, knowledge, skills for free or bargain prices because they devalue themselves.

4. Anti-money attitude—UEs are ambivalent or downright negative about money and people who have it, believing there is virtue in being poor.

5.  Self-saboteurs—Bright women remain UEs primarily by taking on too much, being scattered and unfocused or procrastinating.

6.  Co-dependent—UEs put everyone else’s needs first, which leads to anger, resentment and pain (not the qualities conducive to success).

7.  Craves comfort—UEs are unwilling to be uncomfortable and therefore unwilling to take risks.

Did you say to yourself, Yes, that’s me, as you read this? If you struggle with Underearning tell me about it in the comments below.

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The Lesson at the Liquor Store

So, I’m standing in line at the liquor store, holding 2 bottles of a Chardonnay on sale for $3.99. (Who can refuse a bargain like that?)

An elderly woman is paying the clerk. Behind her, in front of me, a scruffy guy with a bottle of Jack Daniels fumbles with the Lottery machine.

“Maybe I’ll win,” he says to no one in particular.

I say, remembering an article I read, “Did you hear about the couple who won a $20 million lottery and gave it all away because they didn’t want it?”

The elderly woman whips her head up and says: “I’d give it away too. What would I do with $20 million?”

And the scruffy guy agrees: “So would I. Hell, I’d probably just spend it all on booze anyway.”

Refusing the temptation to ask him why, then, he was buying a lottery ticket, I declared: “Not me. I’d give some of it away, but there’s a lot I could do with that money.”

You’d think I told them I was about to shoot the Pope. There was a collective gasp, a look of shock, and for a split second, I actually felt ashamed of wanting millions.

And then I realized—People are about as rich as they want to be.  For many, wealth is more a burden than a blessing.

But the real epiphany came when I turned to the woman behind me, and asked what she’d do.

“My first thought,” she said, “was I’d have enough money to paint my house.” Then she chuckled. “It just occurred to me how small I was thinking. I mean, I could buy a bigger house with that money. Maybe I need to start thinking bigger.”

Maybe we all need to start thinking bigger!  So, in the spirit of thinking bigger, ask yourself: What would I do if I won a $20 million lottery?

Want bonus points?  Answer this: What steps can I start taking now to bring those dreams to life…even if I never win a lottery???

I’m betting you, my readers, will have a different reaction than the liquor store patrons. Am I right? Let me know in the comments below.


Take action to bring your dreams to life. My virtual community, The Wealth Connection, is the place to find the support you need. Join Today!

 

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The Empress’s New Clothes

You probably know the tale of The Emperor’s New Clothes right?

An Emperor orders a suit of clothes that are invisible to anyone who is incompetent or stupid. The emperor can’t see the clothes, but is so afraid of being judged incompetent or stupid that he pretends to be delighted with the garments and “wears” them in a parade through town. All the onlookers pretend to see them too, until a child yells out, “He hasn’t got any clothes on!” 

There’s a modern version of that tale that every woman (and man) should know.

An aging woman, dressed in rags, ambles through crowded streets, feeling invisible, like a second class citizen.

Suddenly, she hears a ruckus from where she just came. Glancing  over her shoulder, she sees a little girl, pointing to her in amazement. 

“That’s the Empress!” the little girl squeals repeatedly to her mother.

The mother starts to scold the girl until she realizes her daughter is telling the truth.  She  passed by this disheveled woman many times, but never before recognized her magnificence. A crowd gathers, whispering beneath their breath, staring at the Empress with awe and admiration.

At that moment, the woman in rags realizes she’s not a second class citizen, but a powerful woman who’s been brainwashed since birth to believe she’s inferior. Until this moment, she had been oblivious to that fact.

That’s when the Empress recognized a deeper truth.  That little girl didn’t just free the Empress, but all women from the paralyzing premise of female inferiority. 

The two versions represent the basic differences between men and women: For the most part, men walk through life, assuming they’re competent, everyone knows it and they feel entitled. Women assume they’re less than, everyone sees it, and we feel unworthy.  While men fearlessly assert their power, we fearfully project it onto others (often men).

Here’s what we can learn from this all too-true fairy tale: 

When women finally own their power and magnificence, both women and men will be liberated to be their authentic selves.  

Where do you give your power away? Leave me a comment below.


If you’ve made a decision to build your Wealth in 2020, I’m here to tell you it’s easier with support. Get the support you need to stay on the Wealth-Building path in my virtual community—The Wealth Connection. Learn More.

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Why You Probably Suck at Receiving

In this season of giving, it’s worth stopping and giving some thought to how you receive. Here’s another blog from the archives to think about.


Consider this. There’s a direct correlation between your ability to receive and your level of financial success. 

The problem, however—most of us suck at receiving. 

Think about it.  How often do you gloss over praise, deflect admiration, deny an achievement or respond with self-criticism?  

Receiving is to your Soul what eating is to your body—a source of strength, nourishment, and growth. When you fail to receive, you’re literally starving your Soul.  

But here’s where it gets tricky. Many gifts come camouflaged and are easily overlooked. To receive fully you must suspend judgment. Nothing that happens is ‘good’ or ‘bad, ’right’ or ‘wrong,’ ‘negative’ or ‘positive.’ 

Everything, absolutely everything, no matter how it feels, is a gift, a message, a lesson, a form of divine communication. 

This, of course, is counterintuitive. It’s easy to receive a compliment from a friend, but a reprimand from your boss? That too can be a gift when you mine it for its deeper meaning. 

To quote a Zen saying, the obstacle is the path. “So that like oxygen to a fire,” writes  author Robert Greene, “obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential.”  

To receive fully means this: Every frustration, disappointment or even failure is, in truth, a source of guidance, support, and strength building…a gift, that if fully received, will increase your success exponentially.

I’d love to hear your experiences of how past disappointments turned out to be gifts in disguise. Share your story in the comments below.

Interesting imageGive yourself the gift of community this holiday season. Join my virtual community The Wealth Connection. It’s the place for women to come together to become Savvy and Confident Investors and find support every step of the way!

Learn More!

 

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I’m in Resistance! How Do I Get Out of It?

You know the feeling. You finally decide to take the financial reins. You’ll pay off your debt, save for emergencies, invest regularly for retirement.

Off you go—to take a financial class, talk to an advisor, buy a money book—when suddenly, you run smack dab into Resistance.

Resistance is the psychological term for, “I don’t want to do this!”

You cancel the appointment, lose interest in the book, sit through the class, but nothing sinks in. You figure money’s not your thing.  Eventually, you quit trying.

Resistance, more than anything else, is what stops women from taking the financial reins. But it doesn’t need to derail you, at least not for long.

You need to understand that resistance is normal. It’s a signal that you’re changing, not that something is wrong.

Find a friend, a colleague or financial professional to hold you accountable. Whatever it is you don’t want to do, that is exactly what you need to do next.

Dig deeper to find what lies on the other side of Resistance.

It’s your Power.

And that’s really what scares us. Not managing our money, but owning our power.

Which is why I created The Wealth Connection, an online community of women supporting women ready to claim their power. I invite you to check it out here.

I’d love to hear what you’ve done to overcome your resistance. Leave me a comment below.


Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month!  Join the conversation today!

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How Do You Know When You’re Really RICH?

Quick, answer this question with the first number that comes to mind:  How much money does it take to be 

Of course, you may argue, there’s more to being rich than having money—there’s love, health, freedom, etc. All true. But for the purpose of this blog, and in the spirit of research, let’s stick with a specific figure.

According to Robert Frank’s blog, The Wealth Report, no one can agree on a specific amount.

  • The Federal Reserve claims you’re in the top 5% of Americans if you have a networth of $1.4 million.
  • In a poll by Spectrem Group of affluent people, only 22% said $1 million makes you rich.
  • The majority (45%) of this poll said it took at least $5 million to qualify.
  • A quarter of the respondents swore that you need a minimum of $25 million.
  • A few (8%) even put the winning number at $100 million.
  • Other studies find that people “always give a number that is twice their current net worth or income. Those with $100,000 in income say $200,000, while those worth $5million say $10 million.”

The best definition I’ve ever seen for “rich” goes like this: “rich is when you work because you want to, not because you have to.” I don’t know who said it, but it makes the most sense.

Anyone have a better definition than that?? Leave me a comment below.


Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month!  Join the conversation today!

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12 Surefire Tips to Successfully Negotiate

To state the obvious—the  most efficient way for entrepreneurs to earn more is to raise their prices. 

 

The same holds true if you’re an employee. You must negotiate for more, whether taking a new job or requesting a raise.

 

Yet this comes as a revelation to many, and a source terror to most.  

 

But think about this. Linda Babcock, in Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and Gender Divide writes, “A woman who routinely negotiates her salary increases will earn over $1 million dollars more by the time she retires than a woman who accepts what she’s offered every time without asking for more.” 

 

A salary offer is not a foregone conclusion. Ninety percent of Human Resource professionals polled expect salaries to be negotiated.  Here are 12 surefire tips for a successful negotiation.

 

1.  Research the going rates in your field. Ask the high end of the spectrum. You can always negotiate down, but never up.  

  

2.   Have points prepared, build a case, around your value and what you bring to the company.

 

3.  Always start negotiations on a positive note. For example, thank the employer for the opportunity before making a counter offer.

 

4.  “No” means “not now.” 

 

5.  Negotiate salary only after a job offer. Don’t be the first to bring it up. As one expert explained, “Make them fall in love with you before talking money.”

 

6.  Can’t get the amount you want? Negotiate other items: early salary review, profit sharing, educational programs, etc

 

7.  Act confident (even if you don’t feel it). Communicate with authority. Perceived confidence has a big impact.

  

8.  Request 24 to 72 hours to think over the offer.

 

9.  If someone acts put off by a reasonable counter offer, consider it a red flag or negotiating ploy. Perhaps the employer doesn’t value you or wants to intimidate you into agreement.

 

10.  The best time to negotiate is when you have job offers from another company.

 

11.  Get the offer in writing.

 

12,  Above all, focus on relationship building. It’s tougher for someone to say ‘no’ if they like you.

 

How do you feel about negotiating? Leave a comment below.


Would you like to try out coaching with me? Join The Wealth Connection for six-months—Only $297 and get a 30- minute private coaching session with me! (The coaching alone is a $300 value.) Or take advantage of the twice monthly group coaching—only $47/month.  JOIN TODAY!

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It’s Time to Get Tough!

If you wanna play a bigger game, you gotta toughen up! That means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By  nature, we women want everyone’s approval. Successful women are no different. Almost everyone I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

Toughening up, however, doesn’t mean you have to harden your heart, numb your senses, or go all macho.

It does mean you need to dramatically shift your priorities toI’d rather be respected than liked.

This one shift in thinking–I’d rather be respected than liked–means developing a rhinoceroses hide while keeping an open heart. This is precisely how we’ll become strong, effective leaders without compromising our feminine nature.

As one woman told me, “I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions. But I learned you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

Where do you need to toughen up?  If you’re like me, I bet it’s not just at work, but on the home-front too.


Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month!  Join the conversation today!

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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