I call it the Secret Shame of Successful Women. And I see it all the time. Bright, sophisticated professionals, making ample incomes, who have little (if anything) to show for it.
Their problem isn’t lack of money. That’s merely a symptom. The real problem is that money is a far more emotional subject than the financial industry recognizes…which does a huge disservice to women.
After decades in this business, I’m convinced that the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially is because of Unresolved Emotions. Emotions of fear, grief, anger and shame, incurred during their lifetime or passed down from earlier generations.
Think about it. What better way to keep painful feelings at bay than by unconsciously creating financial turmoil—forgetting to pay bills, splurging on gifts, maxing out credit cards.
But—and here’s the real culprit—bottling up feelings actually intensifies anxiety and solidifies undesirable patterns.
In his book, The Brain: The Story of You, David Eagleman wrote about an experiment where participants watched a sad movie. Half were told to respond normally. The other half were told to suppress their emotions.
Afterward, they were all given a hand exerciser and told to squeeze it as long and hard as they could. Those who suppressed their emotions gave up sooner. The reason: emotional repression is exhausting, draining our energy for other things.
If you feel stuck financially, perhaps it’s time to ferret out any buried emotions brewing below your awareness.
It may help to journal, talk to a friend or get counseling. I see breakthroughs all the time in my online community for women, The Wealth Connection, when women get support from other women.
One thing I know for sure: Identifying and releasing those pent-up emotions could very well be your ticket to lasting financial freedom.
Here’s a question that will help you begin to dig up those buried emotions—What are your earliest memories of money?
Journal about this and share your insights with me in the comments below.
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