Have you ever wondered if you might be settling for less than you truly desire? It’s a daunting question, isn’t it?
But the bigger question is, how do you even know what you genuinely want?
I bring this up because I feel like I’m hearing more women wondering if they’re in the right job, the right relationship, the right city….then inevitably asking: “But how do I even figure out what I really want?
If you’re wrestling with uncertainty, let me share a profound process I used years ago, when I was miserably unhappy and utterly confused.
I asked myself 3 questions. I’m not sure where I found those questions, but they proved to be a game changer as I sat quietly, pondering each one, allowing the answers to emerge until I had clarity:
- If I had 6 months to live, where would I be, what would I be doing, who would I be with?
- If I died today, what would be left unlived?
- If nothing changes, nothing at all, what would my life look like in 5 years?
Initially, a tidal wave of “shoulds” flooded my brain. I “should” be content with all that I have—a handsome husband, a beautiful daughter, a great career, a lovely home.
Then I remembered a favorite quote by George Bernard Shaw: “Life is not about finding yourself; Life is about creating yourself.”
With that, I silenced the “shoulds”, dared myself to dream bigger and rephrased my question: “What is the grandest vision, the wildest future I yearn to create for myself before I leave this earth?”
The answer came instantly: I’d be living on the side of a hill, overlooking water, writing a book.
Just as quickly, I wanted to discard that dream as too far-fetched. There was no water or hills where I lived. And I’d never written anything other than college papers, which I hated. Yet the vision grabbed hold of my brain, refusing to let go.
Six months later, I was living in San Francisco, on the side of a hill, struggling to write when, out of the blue, an organization I’d once worked with hired me to write a monthly column for their magazine.
My far-fetched vision was no longer far-fetched at all. It became an answered prayer.
What about you? Where might you be settling for less? What is it you really want? Share in a comment below.
Comments & Feedback