3 Questions to Ask When Wrestling with Uncertainty

Have you ever wondered if you might be settling for less than you truly desire? It’s a daunting question, isn’t it?

But the bigger question is, how do you even know what you genuinely want?

I bring this up because I feel like I’m hearing more women wondering if they’re in the right job, the right relationship, the right city….then inevitably asking: “But how do I even figure out what I really want?

If you’re wrestling with uncertainty, let me share a profound process I used years ago, when I was miserably unhappy and utterly confused.

I asked myself 3 questions. I’m not sure where I found those questions, but they proved to be a game changer as I sat quietly, pondering each one, allowing the answers to emerge until I had clarity:

  1. If I had 6 months to live, where would I be, what would I be doing, who would I be with?
  2. If I died today, what would be left unlived?
  3. If nothing changes, nothing at all, what would my life look like in 5 years?

Initially, a tidal wave of “shoulds” flooded my brain. I “should” be content with all that I have—a handsome husband, a beautiful daughter, a great career, a lovely home.

Then I remembered a favorite quote by George Bernard Shaw: “Life is not about finding yourself; Life is about creating yourself.”

With that, I silenced the “shoulds”, dared myself to dream bigger and rephrased my question: “What is the grandest vision, the wildest future I yearn to create for myself before I leave this earth?”

The answer came instantly: I’d be living on the side of a hill, overlooking water, writing a book.

Just as quickly, I wanted to discard that dream as too far-fetched. There was no water or hills where I lived. And I’d never written anything other than college papers, which I hated. Yet the vision grabbed hold of my brain, refusing to let go.

Six months later, I was living in San Francisco, on the side of a hill, struggling to write when, out of the blue, an organization I’d once worked with hired me to write a monthly column for their magazine.

My far-fetched vision was no longer far-fetched at all. It became an answered prayer.

What about you? Where might you be settling for less? What is it you really want? Share in a comment below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Misty

    I would love to have my own home with private acres at least two baby Abyssinians a lot of money and a lot of food. Some Amazing Christian friends would be nice. A new car.

    • barbara huson

      Misty, that’s a lovely dream. I pray everything you desire comes to you at the right and perfect time! And please, let me know when it does!

  • Idara

    I believe I would be living in an apartment in Paris finishing my 2nd book and really savoring life for a change…

    • barbara huson

      Oh Idara, what a beautiful vision. I hope you do what you need to do to make it come to pass. And when you do, please send me a post card from Paris letting me know!!

  • Lisa

    Three great questions, Barbara!

    I make intellectual, financial, career, home, travel&leisure, reading, emotional&spiritual, and physical goals once-a-year. Even though I’ve been plodding along with these slowly, they make me feel somewhat satisfied about where I am now and excited about the future. They also help me maintain what really matters ❤️

    • barbara huson

      I’m glad you liked the questions, Lisa. I love how you make goals setting, in all areas of your life, a yearly affair. So smart. Thanks for sharing your process!

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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