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Financial Miracles or Financial Misery? A Metafiscal Solution.

I spent much of my adult life in financial misery. Even as I learned more about money, I still felt out of control. Then everything changed.

The solution didn’t come from a financial text, but a spiritual one, A Course in Miracles.

From the Course I learned that we have “two thought systems” or two distinct “voices” in our head:

  • The voice of Fear (the Ego).
  • And the voice of Love (the Soul).

The Soul and the Ego have conflicting agendas. Thus they produce dramatically different results–either miracles or misery.

You cannot follow two masters,” the Course warns. “There is no compromise between the two.”

My financial life radically shifted as I began to recognize their differing agendas.

The Ego’s job is to keep us safe.  A job it learned very early in life, when our survival depended on getting love, approval, and attention. The Ego is all about instilling fear as a means of self-protection. 

But know this: what helped us survive as a child will suffocate us as an adult.

The Soul’s job is to make sure we soar. The Soul, which gets its marching orders directly from God, pushes us to do what we’re here to do—which is usually way outside our comfort zone.

Up till then, I had no idea my resistance to managing money was my Ego’s misguided effort to protect me.

Mustering up the courage to ignore my Ego and heed my Soul—though terrifying at first—moved me out of misery and into miracles. It will do the same for you. 

Here are 3 steps for plugging into your Soul. They require persistant practice. It’s truly a lifelong challenge.

  1. Observe your feelings. Frustration, tightness, anxiety, fear, inadequacy, needing to control…all signs you’re in Ego (which always speaks first, screams loudest and never shuts up.)
  2. Don’t try to stifle the Ego. That’s part of its devious plan. The Ego depends on distractions such as busyness & other addictions to prevent you from surrendering to silence.
  3. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths, relax. Your Soul, which is quiet but tenacious, needs you to be still and listen. Only in stillness can you make out its muted whispers, its sacred wisdom, its loving guidance.

What’s your practice for plugging into your Soul?

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Living with Uncertainty…AAAUGH!

Transitions are a bitch.  I’m smack in the middle of one right now.  Maybe you are too.

I’m reminded of a cartoon.  A frog is leaping from one lily pad to another with a look of sheer terror as he realizes he’s about to miss his target. The caption read: ‘Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end’.

That’s exactly how it feels to be in transition—whether it’s a conscious choice (like my partial sabbatical) or an unwelcomed disruption (like a job loss).  You’re poised mid-air between the old and the new, wondering —what do I do now?

I remember my first big transition, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco…a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I wanted to jump out of my skin. This wasn’t what I expected.

By chance, I picked up the book Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges. To say it changed my life is an understatement.

Bridges points out that primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Initiates were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” he explains, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.” But nowadays, no one is there to guide us.

Fortunately, Bridges became my guide, reassuring me that uncertainty is a vital part of the transition process.

This ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. It’s a time to contemplate, to feel our feelings, to grieve our losses. Even, like those primitive societies, commune with our spirit guides.  We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

Even now, I hear Bridges reminding me:  the more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty, the quicker you will get through it.

Eventually, at some point, you’ll feel a fresh burst of energy. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

But until that happens, I have to say: Traversing uncertainty is like taking foul tasting medicine. Just because I know it’s good for me, doesn’t mean I have to like it.

How have you embraced uncertainty in your transitions?

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Living as if You Matter

I once saw a poster that made a lasting impression. On it was written: Will it matter that I was? 

Those words struck me like lightning bolts. I realized, after 40 years on this planet, I had never felt like I mattered…which explained the seemingly inexplicable angst I’d felt my entire life.

That’s when I made a decision. I vowed to do something ‘important’ so I’d finally feel like I mattered.  And off I went.

I wrote a book, then several others. I appeared on national TV.  I spoke to large audiences. But no matter how loud the applause, it never drowned out my sense of insignificance.

Until I wrote Sacred Success. Then everything changed. The women I interviewed for the book showed me the way to a more meaningful life.

Rather than focus on their fears and self-doubt (which they all had), they were living their life as if they already mattered…as if they had a God given purpose they were determined to fulfill.

Rather than striving to feel important themselves, they were seeking to make a difference for others.   

When I asked one woman what drove her to such stratospheric success, her response echoed what almost everyone told me.

“It’s more than money,” she insisted. “It’s impact. I am motivated by leaving a legacy.”

As soon as I started asking myself:  ‘What is the legacy I want to leave?’ I felt my focus radically shift.

I could finally acknowledge that I DO matter.  I always have. Not because of something great I’ve accomplished. But because I’m here for a reason—to leave my mark on the world, even if it’s only a tiny footprint in the sand.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.”

Have you considered the legacy you want to leave?

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My “Ambitious” Challenge for 2018. Want to Join Me?

I’ve taken on an Ambitious Challenge for 2018. Well, it’s actually not ambitious in the conventional sense. In fact, most would say it was the exact opposite. But if you feel spiritually adventurous, I invite you to join me.

Here’s how it all started.

Anna, my youngest daughter, and I have a ritual we do every January 1st. We call it our “God Box.”

We write down our goals for the year on slips of paper. One by one, we read them aloud, put them in a special box, then we give our goals up to God and don’t look at them again for a whole year. I’m always awestruck at how most come to pass.

But this January, for the first time in 22 years, we didn’t do it.  Stuff came up. We got distracted. The day flew by. It never happened. No new goals went into the box.

I found it terribly unsettling. It actually scared me. Was I sabotaging myself? I’ve always preached the power of goals.  They’re unquestionably the lifeblood of success. I knew I should write mine down. But my heart wasn’t in it.

Then it hit me. Maybe there’s a reason Anna and I didn’t set our goals this year.

Could one’s goals actually become one’s limitations?

Is it possible that God has greater plans for me than my little brain could ever conceive at this point?

Or am I certifiably insane to think dispensing with specific goals could ever lead to financial and personal success?

That’s when I gave myself an Ambitious Challenge for 2018. My only goal this year is to s-l-o-w down every day, get quiet enough to hear my soul’s wisdom and trust that wisdom to guide me in the direction I need to go.

For an ambitious gal like me, this is one hell of a challenge. I’ll keep you posted. And I’d love to hear from any of you who’ve ever taken on a similar challenge.

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Stone Heart

Say Good-Bye to Barbara Stanny

Oh, I’m not going anywhere. But I am changing my name to Barbara Huson. If you’re up for a tale of true love, I’ll  explain why.

10 years ago, thanks to the magic of match.com, I had a lunch date with a guy named Lee Huson. I knew immediately he was not my type (blue collar, Republican).

But he was tall and bald (I’m a sucker for both). So I gave him a chance. As we talked, I noticed he was quite smart, deep, spiritual and funnier than hell. By the end of our date, he’d miraculously morphed into my type.

He told me later that the next day he heard “a voice” say to him: “You are here to love, appreciate and support Barbara.

He’s repeated those words to me almost daily for the last decade. And his behavior has followed suit.

Five years later we married. But I didn’t take his name. It was too much hassle. My business identity was wrapped tightly around Stanny. So was my social life. Most friends never bother with Barbara. They just call me Stanny.

A few months ago, however, sitting at my desk, gazing mindlessly out the window, it hit me. (I’ve always found mindless gazing highly productive.) 

Why was I hanging on to the name of my ex—who constantly let me know how unhappy he was with me—when I had a man who supported me unconditionally???

That’s when I made the decision. Stanny had to go. Not just because I wanted Lee’s name. But because, as I continued gazing, I realized Lee’s unwavering love for me, just as I am, had radically changed me. Though I hadn’t fully understood it until that pivotal moment.

He’d become my mirror and I started seeing myself through his appreciative reflection. Over time, I’ve actually come to love and accept myself…just as I am.

My name change is a tribute to the miracle of love. Obviously, to the wonderful man I married. But, even more miraculous, to the love I finally found for myself.

Granted, it will take quite a while to change all the branding, URL, email address, etc. But I wanted you to be the first to know.  And if you have any tips on changing a name I’d love to hear them!

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Faith & Finances

Deepak Chopra once said, “We need a more spiritual approach to success and to affluence.”

I couldn’t agree more. I’m convinced that the moment you inject faith into finances, the instant you invite the Divine into your relationship with the ‘almighty dollar,’ your experience with money grows deeper, richer, more meaningful, and the results are truly profound.

A few years ago I even coined a word to better describe this: Metafiscal—that which blends financial know-how with metaphysical principles; a melding of the sacred and the mundane in regards to money.

You don’t have to be religious to be Metafiscal. I’m certainly not. But when you develop a deep sense of trust in the inexplicable forces of the Universe, everything changes.

Financial success becomes far more than a practical process. It turns into a transformational journey, a personal healing, a sacred initiation into your power, enabling to you to become all you’re meant to be and do what you’re put on this planet to do.

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Big Changes (and Sadly, Sacrifices) are Afoot…

I’m about to take a sharp right turn. (No, not politically!). A sharp right turn is how my brilliant coach, Ali Brown, describes the process of repositioning a business, of shifting focus, of changing tracks.

I am ready to focus exclusively on women who are on the verge of or have achieved affluence… and the particular challenges and issues that comes with it. 

I see so many women with wealth (whether they earn, marry or inherit it), yet no matter how much they have, money remains a source of stress, anxiety and pain. They don’t understand how to manage their assets or use their abundance as a tool for pleasure, healing and transformation. 

I yearn to work with women who are committed to be good stewards of their money, heal their pain, make a difference in the world, and proudly claim their power.    

I know this is what I’ve been put on earth to do. It’s in my genes. It’s my zone of genius. 

However, as Ali explained, “Repositioning requires sacrifice.”  I must let go of everything that doesn’t fit my new direction…to make room for what does.  I can’t be everything to everyone (as much as I’d like to be).

Sadly, that means letting go of my beloved Monthly Monday Money calls. I adore the candid discussions, the emotional transparency. But our discussions rarely covered the topics I consider my true expertise and passion: wealth building, investing, creating impact and leaving a legacy.

So come December, I’ll be passing the baton to my mentor, Karen McCall, a pioneer in financial recovery. The monthly calls and Facebook page will continue, but Karen will be at the helm. There is no one better to respond to your questions about creating a budget, getting out of debt, healing deprivation, and tackling the root causes of money problems. To those who listen, I’m confident I’m leaving you in good hands.

I’m also taking a partial sabbatical. Next year, I’ll no longer be teaching classes to concentrate on coaching, my new mentorship program and continue exploring what’s next.  My sharp right turn is a work in progress. 

Stay tuned. More big changes are afoot.

Tell me, what have you sacrificed so something better could show up in your life?

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God and Money

Call me crazy. Or call me Woo-Woo. But I firmly believe financial success is a spiritual journey; financial abundance is a divine right; and financial responsibility is a sacred duty.

Something happens when you bring faith into finances. The often overwhelming task of making more money and managing it wisely becomes not only easier but more meaningful.

Look at it this way. You and I are here for a purpose. Money is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this planet to do. How can you possibly follow your God given destiny if you’re drowning in debt, struggling to make ends meet?

Disciplined spending, sufficient earnings, habitual savings and prudent investing are sacred tools for not only living your best life but making the world a better place.

Money, I believe, is God made visible.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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