Unexpressed anger is perhaps our biggest barrier to financial success.
We women tend to hold a lot of repressed anger, though few realize it. I’ve certainly experienced it in myself. I spot it in most women I coach.
Anger is a natural human emotion. Healthy when expressed in a timely manner. Toxic when regularly stuffed. Suppressed anger clogs up your thinking, drains your energy, weighs you down like a concrete block.
Yet for some, the mere thought of expressing anger feels frightening, if not forbidden.
So how do you release anger…safely and effectively? Here’s what worked for me.
Write an Angry Letter. Write it to another, your parents or ex-husband perhaps. Then write one to yourself. Write it by hand, not computer.
Even if you hardly feel any irritation initially, start listing what you might be annoyed at. Let yourself get into it. Liberate your fury, your rage, your frustration. Write until you’re done.
Fold up the letter and put it away. Within 3 days, reread it. Is there anything you want to add? If so, write more. Continue until you feel complete.
When you’re finally finished, burn the letter…ritualistically. As it burns, say to your anger: “Thank you. You served me once. I no longer need you. I release you. You are free. I am free.”
As one client told me after writing her letter: “At first it was scary. I felt really rageful. But I also felt a release that I had never felt before.”
What if you’ve done a gazillion anger exercises and damn it, you’re still angry? Ask yourself: What is my payoff for holding onto anger? Why don’t I want to let it go? Believe me, the anger is giving you something. But it’s nothing compared to the lightness you’ll feel once it’s lifted.
If you write (or have written) an Angry Letter, I’d love to hear how it was for you. And please share below any other ways you’ve successfully released anger.
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