Yikes! The Sky is Falling!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

As I write, the market’s in a nose dive. Panicked investors are running for the exits.

Please tell me you’re not one of them.

By the time you read this, stocks may have recovered. Or not. The only certainty is that, long term, the trajectory has always been up.

Besides, price swings only matters when you sell. It’s called the Rule of the Roller Coaster: You only get hurt when you jump off.

I discovered this the hard way. My first foray into stocks came after my divorce, in 1986. My broker sent me all kinds of reports and statements, none of which I understood, so I threw them away.

A year later, Oct. 1987, the market tanked…big time! I freaked out, called my broker, told him to sell everything. He begged me not to.

“The market will go back up,’ he said, “It always does.”

I didn’t care. I wanted my money where it was ‘safe’. Of course, the market rebounded, quite quickly. If I stayed put, I’d be a lot richer now. But I learned my lesson.

Fast forward, 10 years later. October, 1997. Prince Charming Isn’t Coming had been published. I knew a hell of a lot more about investing.

Again, the market plummeted. This time, I’m on the phone calling Schwab. My now 2nd ex-husband was upstairs, pacing the floor, in a frenzy about his finances. My teenage daughter comes downstairs, sees me on the phone, asks what I’m doing.

“I’m buying stock” I tell her.

“But mom,” she says, “The market’s crashing.”

“No, Anna” I say. “It’s a sale!”

I understood it then. I understood that eventually the market would go back up…I didn’t know when, but I knew it would.

Sure enough, in the 20+ years I’ve been invested, despite living through at least 8 market crashes, not just corrections like now (when market falls 10%), but full on crashes (when the market plunges 20%), I’m proud to say, I’ve done very, very well for myself.

The secret to success in investing is sticking to a long term approach. Otherwise, you’re not investing. You’re gambling.

What’s your reaction to this crazy market?

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Are You Worshipping a False God?

Written by Barbara Huson

Last fall, I had a crushing realization. I’ve been worshipping a false god…and it’s caused me great pain.

The realization came during a seminar led by one of the early pioneers in internet marketing, Ali Brown.

Her message: Today’s marketplace is so oversaturated, full of noisy distractions and changing so fast, that the old formulas for success no longer work.

“Question everything,” she urged us. “Especially question the metrics you’re using to measure your success.”

She ran down a list of the most common measurements: list size, social media followers, team members, seats filled, speed of growth, etc.

“Numbers are the false gods in our industries,” Ali declared. “A lot of pain comes from how you’re measuring your success because you make assumptions that aren’t always correct, based on size and amounts.”

Thus, came my crushing realization. Numbers have always been my yardstick, not just for my professional success, but my value as a person.

When my numbers were low, I felt like a loser. When the numbers rose, I was once again worthy.

Yet I had no idea how to gauge my level of success except by the size of the numbers. What other metric even mattered?

The answer came in a most surprising manner. My best friend, Jill, was telling me about all the books she’d read by people who had Near Death Experiences.

“The common theme, among those who temporarily crossed over, is that the most important thing in this life is to be your 100% most authentic self,” she explained.

“What if that’s the whole point?” she continued. “What if the only thing the Universe wants is for YOU to be YOU?”

In that moment, I discovered my new metric.

What if I woke every morning, and instead of asking myself ‘What can I do to increase my numbers,’ ask instead, ‘How can I be my most authentic ME?’

The concept is still fresh and feels a bit challenging. How does one even measure authenticity? Can the emphasis on being genuine actually generate profits?

I’m still tempted by the false (yet seductive) god of numbers. But hey, I’ll give this new metric a try. I have to tell you, I feel my soul is smiling in approval.

I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a metric for success…other than numbers?

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Getting Unstuck Can Be So Simple

Written by Barbara Huson

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” Lao Tzu

Been feeling stuck lately? Frustrated with your finances? Not loving your life?

Listen up. The solution is deceptively simple, yet undeniably life changing…guaranteed.

Stop telling your old story.

If you do only this one thing, you’ll rewire your brain and revolutionize your relationship to money—and everything else, for that matter—within months.

Here’s how it works. Start by observing the words that come out your mouth.

Do those words describe your life as it’s been, your flaws, or your fears?

Stop right there and instead talk about the life you desire to create, who you want to be, how you’d love to feel.

Granted this takes considerable vigilance and determination…and may feel awkward, even phony, at first. I said the solution was simple, but it’s far from easy.

Yet every time you share your future aspirations (rather than retell your familiar reality), you literally weaken the old dysfunctional neuropathways and strengthen new, more desirable ones.

Or as A Course in Miracles explains: “What you share you strengthen.”

Here’s a true story that illustrates the incredible power of your words.

Phil Hellmuth is a professional poker player who’s won a record 14 World Series of Poker. But before that, he suffered an 8 year losing streak. No matter what he did, his bad luck wasn’t budging.

Then one day he changed a few words he regularly used and his life turned around.

He altered his email address from “trying to be the greatest” to “being the greatest” . To date he’s won over $22million.

No surprise, he recently told a Wall Street Journal reporter: “I’m a big believe in the power of the word.”

So am I. Are you? I’d love to hear examples of how this has worked in your life?

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The Life Changing Power of Setting Strong Boundaries

Written by Barbara Huson

In my interviews with High Earners I always asked: “Are you doing what you’re doing for the money?”

Almost to a woman, their response was a vehement NO. Passion, challenge, and recognition drove them. But not the money.

Here’s the catch. In the next breath, they all said the same thing. “But I damn well want to be well compensated…because I know I’m worth it!”

Where did their strong sense of self-worth come from? I soon discovered the answer.

These women forced themselves to set strong boundaries. They asked for what they wanted and said ‘no’ to what they didn’t. Over and over again.

This simple (but scary) act was the secret to their financial success. Here’s why:

Asking for more is an act of self-love

Saying no is a statement of self-respect.

Refusing to settle is a show of self-esteem.

And walking away is a sign of self-trust.

Whenever you stand up for what you want, whenever you refuse to take less than you deserve, you reinforce your self-love, self-respect, self-worth, and self-trust.

In time, you’ll begin to notice a shift in how you feel about yourself.

Speaking up becomes not something you should do, but something you have to do— because you know in your heart you’re worth it.

Where do you need to set boundaries by speaking up?

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It’s Never Too Late… To Become Who You’re Meant to Be

Written by Barbara Huson

It is said that power is the ability to make something happen. However, I’m convinced real power is the willingness to let something go.

I have to tell you, since I decided to let go of my last name and business model, I’m feeling very powerful.

But I definitely didn’t feel that way in the months leading up to those decisions. I felt scared. Very, very scared.

Scared of losing potential clients or Facebook followers, once I changed my name to Barbara Huson.

Scared of alienating, angering or disappointing people, once I changed my focus to affluent women.

Scared of financial loss, once I stopped teaching classes.

Scared of….The list was endless. And each fear was/is a valid possibility.

But then I opened a birthday card from an old friend, which read “It’s never too late to become who you’re meant to be.”

And instantly I knew, deep in my soul, I had to make those scary changes.

Because it was the only way to step fully into my power…the only way to become all I’m meant to be.

Even at age 70, I knew it wasn’t too late.

I invite you, as the New Year rolls around, to ask yourself: What do I need to let go of to become who I’m truly meant to be? I guarantee, it’ll be that which you’re most afraid to release.

Power (and growth) takes courage. What will you release in 2018?

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Say Good-Bye to Barbara Stanny

Written by Barbara Huson

Oh, I’m not going anywhere. But I am changing my name to Barbara Huson. If you’re up for a tale of true love, I’ll explain why.

10 years ago, thanks to the magic of match.com, I had a lunch date with a guy named Lee Huson. I knew immediately he was not my type (blue collar, Republican).

But he was tall and bald (I’m a sucker for both). So I gave him a chance. As we talked, I noticed he was quite smart, deep, spiritual and funnier than hell. By the end of our date, he’d miraculously morphed into my type.

He told me later that the next day he heard “a voice” say to him: “You are here to love, appreciate and support Barbara.”

He’s repeated those words to me almost daily for the last decade. And his behavior has followed suit.

Five years later we married. But I didn’t take his name. It was too much hassle. My business identity was wrapped tightly around Stanny. So was my social life. Most friends never bother with Barbara. They just call me Stanny.

A few months ago, however, sitting at my desk, gazing mindlessly out the window, it hit me. (I’ve always found mindless gazing highly productive.)

Why was I hanging on to the name of my ex—who constantly let me know how unhappy he was with me—when I had a man who supported me unconditionally???

That’s when I made the decision. Stanny had to go. Not just because I wanted Lee’s name. But because, as I continued gazing, I realized Lee’s unwavering love for me, just as I am, had radically changed me. Though I hadn’t fully understood it until that pivotal moment.

He’d become my mirror and I started seeing myself through his appreciative reflection. Over time, I’ve actually come to love and accept myself…just as I am.

My name change is a tribute to the miracle of love. Obviously, to the wonderful man I married. But, even more miraculous, to the love I finally found for myself.

Granted, it will take quite a while to change all the branding, URL, email address, etc. But I wanted you to be the first to know. And if you have any tips on changing a name I’d love to hear them!

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Big Changes (and Sadly, Sacrifices) are Afoot…

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m about to take a sharp right turn. (No, not politically!). A sharp right turn is how my brilliant coach, Ali Brown, describes the process of repositioning a business, of shifting focus, of changing tracks.

I am ready to focus exclusively on women who are on the verge of or have achieved affluence… and the particular challenges and issues that comes with it.

I see so many women with wealth (whether they earn, marry or inherit it), yet no matter how much they have, money remains a source of stress, anxiety and pain. They don’t understand how to manage their assets or use their abundance as a tool for pleasure, healing and transformation.

I yearn to work with women who are committed to be good stewards of their money, heal their pain, make a difference in the world, and proudly claim their power.

I know this is what I’ve been put on earth to do. It’s in my genes. It’s my zone of genius.

However, as Ali explained, “Repositioning requires sacrifice.” I must let go of everything that doesn’t fit my new direction…to make room for what does. I can’t be everything to everyone (as much as I’d like to be).

Sadly, that means letting go of my beloved Monthly Monday Money calls. I adore the candid discussions, the emotional transparency. But our discussions rarely covered the topics I consider my true expertise and passion: wealth building, investing, creating impact and leaving a legacy.

So come December, I’ll be passing the baton to my mentor, Karen McCall, a pioneer in financial recovery. The monthly calls and Facebook page will continue, but Karen will be at the helm. There is no one better to respond to your questions about creating a budget, getting out of debt, healing deprivation, and tackling the root causes of money problems. To those who listen, I’m confident I’m leaving you in good hands.

I’m also taking a partial sabbatical. Next year, I’ll no longer be teaching classes to concentrate on coaching, my new mentorship program and continue exploring what’s next. My sharp right turn is a work in progress.

Stay tuned. More big changes are afoot.

Tell me, what have you sacrificed so something better could show up in your life?

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A Candid Confession on Aging

Written by Barbara Huson

In a few weeks, I turn 70. And I’ve been really struggling. 70’s are…dare I say…old!

The mere mention of that word—old—sends shivers of shame through me. As if being old is an affliction I must hide…lest I be diminished in the eyes of others, or deemed irrelevant.

I remember when I turned 60. I awoke that morning, big smile on my face. In my mind, 60 was simply ‘middle aged’…no big deal, perfectly acceptable.

But 70 feels radically different. I have no desire to retire, no fear of death and I definitely appreciate the wisdom I’ve accumulated. But—here’s my candid confession—I’ve bought into the cultural bias against aging women.

Western society, in its adulation of youth, tends to ignore, patronize, even disparage the elderly, especially females. Yet here I am, doing it to myself. I’ve fallen prey to my own latent prejudice.

Oh, the insidious ways we women devalue ourselves when we don’t meet some mythic ideal.

I know botox isn’t the solution (though I’ve tried).

My challenge now is finding self-acceptance—to see myself as, say, a fine wine, increasing in value with age—despite the pervasiveness of ageism.

Perhaps, one day, I’ll share with you how I’ve joyfully and powerfully embraced the aging process. I’m not there yet.

But if you are, I’d love some advice.

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The Temptation to Tolerate…

Written by Barbara Huson

Here’s an interesting question. What are you tolerating in your professional and personal life?

My amazing business coach, Ali Brown, posed that question during her recent seminar, Iconic.

The theme of the seminar: How can you and your business become iconic? Or as Ali put it, how can you “let your genie out of the bottle” so you stand out in a very noisy, crowded, over-saturated playing field?

“You can’t go to your zone of genius, if you’re tolerating mediocrity,” Ali explained. “You can’t get to the real issues while tolerating the annoying stuff.”

It never occurred to me that the willingness to tolerate anything—from minor irritations to major grievances—could interfere with success.

When she suggested making a list of what we’re tolerating, I began with:

Fear, keeping me from starting another book
Too many appointments; too few patches of stillness
Social media
Launches
An uncomfortable desk chair
Clients that aren’t a fit

At first, my list seemed so trivial in comparison to the terrible things women have tolerated for decades. But then, it occurred to me:

Whatever we are tolerating—no matter how slight or how sordid—is another form of victimization, of giving our power away.

So, in the spirit of empowerment, I traded the ease of inertia for the joy of jettisoning the intolerable.

The desk chair is gone, replaced by a comfy one. I’m taking a partial sabbatical, eliminating all launches. I’ve reduced my time on FB significantly. And new clients will fill out an application to make sure we’re a fit.

Already feeling liberated, I look forward to releasing even more.

As Ali pointed out, “Magic happens when you stop tolerating.”

What are you unwilling to tolerate anymore???

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The Weinstein Effect

Written by Barbara Huson

It’s painful to witness. But I’m also hopeful.

I watch the news and wonder: are we at a tipping point in women’s relationship to power?

The old boys club—not just in Hollywood, but everywhere—is being exposed as a bunch of bullies and brutes, consistently abusing their power through egregious behavior or tacit support.

That’s nothing new, of course.

But here’s the hopeful part. Women are refusing to remain victims.

They are unmaking their abusers, en masse.

They’ve made it abundantly clear that the top-down male model of control, domination and self-aggrandizement is not only ineffective, but offensive, dehumanizing and often vicious.

#me too is morphing into #never again.

It’s time that each one of us—you and I—find our voice, join the chorus and take this journey. Even if, especially if, it’s scary.

Never again will we tolerate abuse. Never again, will we suffer in silence. Never again will we water ourselves down so as not to make waves. In our homes or workplaces.

This is what the Feminine Face of Power looks like.

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Life Lessons

Yikes! The Sky is Falling!!!

Are You Worshipping a False God?

Getting Unstuck Can Be So Simple

The Life Changing Power of Setting Strong Boundaries

It’s Never Too Late… To Become Who You’re Meant to Be

Say Good-Bye to Barbara Stanny

Big Changes (and Sadly, Sacrifices) are Afoot…

A Candid Confession on Aging

The Temptation to Tolerate…

The Weinstein Effect

Meet Barbara Huson

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