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How to Know if You’re Really Committed

I have a theory.  Each of us has a Patron Saint of Risk. Every time you dare do something different—make more money, write a book, start a business—this benevolent cosmic being sends a flock of angels (disguised as negative people) to tell you what a dumb idea it is. 

These folks serve a very important function. They come to test your level of commitment. If you notice, the more tentative you feel, the more pessimistic they sound.

If they succeed in discouraging you, be grateful. Deep down, you just didn’t have enough moxie to make your idea work. If on the other hand, you are determined to succeed despite all the naysayers, you most likely will.

Face it. Without commitment, you can’t possibly succeed. But once you commit fully, you can’t possibly fail.

Commitment is what keeps you going despite rejection, disappointment or failure.In fact, to someone committed, failure doesn’t exist. It’s simply one more thing that didn’t work.

What’s frustrating however, is when you vow to accomplish something but to no avail. Projects fall apart. People renege on promises. Opportunities dry up. Your enthusiasm wanes. What then?

This may be a sign you’re on the wrong track. When you’re attempting something at odds with your authentic desires, your resolve will fizzle at the first hurdle. 

A few years back, I was determined to learn to ride a motorcycle. My husband, a Harley fanatic, has two in our garage. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could ride alongside him?  But the moment I took a tumble on the first day of motorcycle class, that was it. Clearly I wasn’t committed.  I’d be just as happy on the back of hubby’s bike.

When you find yourself perpetually thwarted with a project you’ve tackled, here’s my advice. Instead of beating yourself up or struggling mightily to make it work, step back and dig deeper. Is this something I want so badly that I’m willing to fall down repeatedly until I finally succeed? Is this my soul’s yearning or simply an arbitrary ‘should’ I put on myself? 

As D.H. Lawrence once suggested: “If it doesn’t absorb you, if it isn’t fun, don’t do it!”Amen to that!

What clues do you look for to determine if what you say you want to do is really an authentic desire? Leave a comment below.

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Filed under: Life Lessons , Success

Comments & Feedback

  • Cathryn

    Thank you for this message today! Exactly what I needed to hear:)

    I am committed to writing my “Handbook for Authentic Leadership: A Path of Practice”

    This I know is an authentic desire, because it keeps coming up and up, tapping me on my shoulder, for the last 5 years. It is also fire in my belly, I feel the energy in my womb, my place of power.

    • Linda Fairchild

      I hope you are writing every day. I adore Anna Quindlan. She starts every day at 8:30.
      Write on!! What feels like Authentic Leadership to you? For me, it has been Barbara. So happy you didn’t Quit on Commit! XO

      • barbara huson

        Linda, I always love hearing from you…thank you so much for your kind words. I need to be like Anna Q…write every day at the same time. Thanks for the reminder! Big hugs.

    • barbara huson

      Cathryn, I can so relate to everything you said. I go through the same struggle every time I start a new book. I can totally feel your commitment. You WILL write it…just maybe not in the time frame you expected. I can’t wait to read it. Let me know when it’s on sale!

  • Linda Fairchild

    This is why I give gratitude for Barbara and her Sacred Success Retreat every day. I was presented with an opportunity 20 months ago. I brought it together with Investors and a creative team in 75 days. $2OM project with huge upside financial “opportunity”. The “men” looked at my opportunity, decided it was terrific, just get rid of Linda. Who needs her? I had a terrific woman attorney, covered my back. Her idea: Get rid of those weasels. So she did. Now MY project is moving forward. Doors opening organically with the right people. I never gave up. I stayed committed, made sacrifices. I only listened to myself. Anyone can quit. That’s easy. Bless you, my dearest mentor, Barbara.

    • barbara huson

      Bless you, my dearest Linda. I so admire your fortitude and tenacity. Please keep me posted on your progress!! xoxo

  • Lisa Izumi

    Hello Barbara,

    Thank you for your awesome article!

    I am committed to drastically cutting down on sugar. I nearly quit today when I saw freshly baked Blueberry muffins….

    • barbara huson

      Thanks Lisa. Cutting down sugar is bitch. I know. But you’ll do it…despite freshly cooked muffins. It may not happen immediately…but you’ll do it!!!

  • Amy Lynch

    Thank you for this reminder! I’m self-publishing my first book this fall, it’s been two years in the making and I did pause it for a while. But it kept coming up, in the form of strangers, friends and families asking for it and also outside reminders. So I’m finally releasing it in hopes my expat story and experiences abroad while improving my financial literacy will inspire other women to look at their own lives and make positive changes! I recently discovered your work and it reminded me I’m on the right path.
    My personal blog which outlines how I became inspired to write my book:

    If you’re interested to learn more about my first (hopefully of many) book:

    • Congratulations on your book. That’s very exciting. And I know…it took tremendous commitment! But you did it! I can’t wait to check out your websites. Thanks for sharing them with me. And please, let me know when you release your book!!! b

  • Anastasia

    This post made me realize how committed I am to the organization that I work for. Lately I haven’t been happy in my role and found a couple of jobs to apply for, but I keep procrastinating. Then more recently two key people left (or gave notice), and that gives me an opportunity to stay and move into a new role. And just yesterday two people in other departments encouraged me to go for it, which is exactly what I needed to hear!

    • barbara huson

      Wow, what a great story, Anastasia!!! I love synchronicities like this, when everything unfolds in the perfect timing. I wish you tremendous success on your new role. I’m so excited you’re going for it!!!!

  • Lee

    I’m committed to launch my business and write my book, but the “flock of angels” — oh my, unbelievable. It’s what I want to happen in my life, it’s impossible to get started or rather I started, crashed and burned, and enthusiasm waned so much, and energy levels get lower with each setback especially tech challenges. Hired consultant after consultant and, as you say, reneged. Thing is, I know this is track I want and love to do or am great at, but nothing good is happening. And family keeps getting in the way. Domestic trouble which no one else is equipped or skilled to handle. More energy depletion and emo. drained. What is happening? Thanks Barbara, for all your posts and generous sharing, so basically, murky going forward. What say you?

    • barbara huson

      Lee, my first reaction to your post was this: this is not the right time for you to launch your biz or your book. There is some healing you need to do first. You’re not quite ready yet. Focus on self reflection, personal growth, and finding peace…by making the external and internal (scary) changes that are needed…and you know what they are. Good luck, my dear.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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