Life Lessons
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Money is Emotional

I’ve got a beef with the financial industry. And the financial media. And most financial books.

They are preoccupied with the Outer Work of money while ignoring the Inner Work. This myopic perspective occurs for one reason.

Financial education has been created mostly by men.

A few years ago, I was talking to a male pollster who was conducting a Harris Interactive survey for a major financial firm. He had just come from a series of focus groups.

“What did you learn?” I asked him.

“You know,” he responded with surprise, “Money is a very emotional topic for women!”
 

I had to laugh. Like this was brand new information (which, of course, it is to most men)?

But as I learned from personal experience—unless you deal with your psyche, you’ll likely sabotage your success.
 

If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or indecisive, the solution rarely lies in doing more Outer Work. The key is dealing with your internal blocks, limiting beliefs, and early decisions.


Until you consciously examine your early programming and intentionally change it, you’ll be like puppets pulled by the strings of your past.  

 


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God and Money

Call me crazy. Or call me Woo-Woo. But I firmly believe financial success is a spiritual journey; financial abundance is a divine right; and financial responsibility is a sacred duty.

Something happens when you bring faith into finances. The often overwhelming task of making more money and managing it wisely becomes not only easier but more meaningful.

Look at it this way. You and I are here for a purpose. Money is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this planet to do. How can you possibly follow your God given destiny if you’re drowning in debt, struggling to make ends meet?

Disciplined spending, sufficient earnings, habitual savings and prudent investing are sacred tools for not only living your best life but making the world a better place.

Money, I believe, is God made visible.


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The Saint’s Prayer

I once saw a cartoon of a Saint, his arms outstretched, his gaze toward heaven. The caption read: “God, give me chastity… but not yet.”

I see this all the time. People say they want to get smart about money…and they really do…but…well…not yet. It’s called Resistance.

Resistance  kicks in the moment you enter The Gap, the Gap being that space between where you are now and where you want to be.

The Gap is filled with tension. We humans hate tension. We’ll do anything to avoid it.

Resistance is not bad. It just means that something is changing.  The key is to not let it stop you, at least not for long. How? Not by fighting it or trying to ignore it–but by working with it.

Here are 5 steps to Overcoming Resistance.

  1. Start by observing your resistance, without judgment. Just notice it’s there. Remind yourself it’s actually a good sign, proof that you are indeed changing,
  2. Then ask yourself some questions like: What am I afraid of? What is the payoff for staying where I am? What belief is my resistance reflecting?
  3. Create an affirmation such as: “I am confidently creating wealth.” “Learning about Money is fun.” “This is so easy.” (my personal favorite).
  4. Take small steps like simply flipping through Money magazine  or organizing your papers or making an appointment with a financial planner.
  5. Get Support. No one will do this for you, but you don’t have to do it alone. Join my  Money Monday Facebook group or start a financial book club with friends.

Let me know in the comments below how you’re fighting Resistance.

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The Heroine’s Journey

I have come to see that becoming financially savvy is, for many women, a Heroine’s Journey.

The purpose of all Hero(ine)’s Journey is a transformation of consciousness. Or as mythologist Joseph Campbell put it, “You have been thinking one way. Now you have to think a different way.”

That is precisely what most of us must do. We must think beyond being a Wage Earner and Dollar Watcher to becoming a Wealth Builder.

Wealth doesn’t come from your salary or your revenues. Wealth comes from investing your money in assets (stocks, bonds, real estate) that grow faster than inflation and taxes can take it away.

I know…investing can seem overwhelming. But not if you follow these 4 simple steps:

  • Start educating yourself. Keep an eye out for lectures, seminars, financial news, magazine articles, money books or people who are smart about investing.
  • Do something every day, even if it’s just flipping through a money magazine or reading a paragraph from Investing for Dummies.
  • Find a buddy, someone who will learn right along with you and hold you accountable. Check in with each other on a regular basis.
  • Visit a financial planner who will evaluate your current financial situation, help you identify your goals, create a plan for achieving those goals and protecting your future.

These 4 steps are the beginning of your Heroine’s Journey to empowering yourself personally as well as enriching yourself financially.

Leave a comment about your Heroine’s Journey to wealth.

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Your Lot in Life?

You really want a different experience with money. You’ve tried everything, with little success. And you’re getting frustrated.

Maybe you’ve repeated affirmations, created vision boards, and talked nonstop about your desires for having more (aka The Law of Attraction)…and nothing changes. Not one thing.

Maybe you’ve started creating a budget, paying down your debt, or making more sales calls only to find yourself losing focus, losing interest, or losing patience.

Or maybe you’ve been so busy bringing in the bucks, you find yourself burnt out, feeling neither happy nor free.

So, why despite all your efforts, aren’t you making much headway toward a better, more prosperous life?

I promise, it has nothing to do with bad luck, a family curse, or your lot in life. It has EVERYTHING to do with your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and/or money.

I’d like to suggest that you try something different. Spend some time in self-reflection. Journal about the insights that come up for you around your beliefs about money and wealth.

What if you…

  • examine your limiting beliefs?
  • face your fears, meet your demons?
  • give voice to repressed emotions?
  • explore early messages you got about money (from family, church, society)?

…and begin to replace what no longer serves you with healthy, more powerful behaviors.

Where could start changing your thoughts and beliefs about wealth? Share below.

 

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Want to Feel More Powerful?

It was a conversation I’ll never forget.

Soon after I sold my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart about Money, I flew to New York and had lunch with my editor from Penguin. As we munched on our salads, I casually asked if she ever invested.

“Oh no,” she said, emphatically. “I have no money.” I could see she was embarrassed, so I dropped the subject.

A year after my book hit the stores, she called to confess.

“Remember that lunch when I told you I had no money,” she said. “Well I did, but it was all sitting in cash in my 401 (k). After working on your book, I realized how foolish that was. So I started educating myself, found an advisor, and it’s now fully invested. I even collected my spare change in a jar every night, and I’ve invested that too.”

She paused a moment, then added: “I watch the market go up and down, but I’m in it for the long haul, so I’m not worried at all.”
My heart burst, I was so excited. But then she said what I hear all the time from women when they finally understand investing.

“I have to tell you, Barbara, I feel so powerful.

Those four words captured the essence of my life’s work; why I’m so passionate about helping women financially. Sure, I want them to prosper. But more importantly, I want every woman to realize that by taking charge of her money, she’s taking charge of her life. The incredible sense of power this brings is a seriously intoxicating high.

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The Real Secret to Financial Success…it’s not what you think!!!

Question: What’s the biggest pitfall to making more money?

Answer: Thinking you have to have it all figured out first.

That’s exactly what slows us down, or keeps us stuck

After 40 years of working with women I’ve found that the ones who had the most trouble reaching their goals were the ones who kept trying to figure out exactly what they needed to do to get there.

If they couldn’t figure it out, they tended to lower their sights.

That’s not the way it works at all…at least not for the thousands of successful women I’ve interviewed. Instead, what these women did was:

1. Set a goal,
2. Commit to reach it (without knowing how),
3. Take advantage of unexpected opportunities (disguised as coincidences).
That’s the real secret to success.

It’s not about trying to figure out how, but being willing to let go of control and do what comes next.

Especially if it’s something you’re scared to do.

When have you set out on a path without knowing the exact next step? Leave a comment below.

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5 Words to Boost Financial Success

I’m flipping through a newspaper, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve long forgotten the article but the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused.”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to Financial Success.

For anyone who’s struggling to live their dream or make ends meet, I say heed those 5 words.

I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I see people with far more skills feeling stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted.

If you’re one of those gifted Souls, here’s my suggestion—prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, success will go to the focused.

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Have a Legendary Love Affair with Your Money

I wonder. Perhaps the reason so many women ignore their finances is actually their fear of relationship.

Money and a (good) man are a lot alike. All money wants (like a good man) is to serve you and support you. All they require in return is your respect and appreciation.

In other words, just like a man, money needs your attention; it needs to feel understood, cared about, and valued.

Otherwise, neither the man nor the money will stick around for the long haul.

As in all relationships, there are good times and bad times.  Bad times are not the time to turn your back, throw in the towel or ignore your money. At least not if  you want you and your money to grow old together.

How do you improve your relationship with money?

By creating more intimacy. Get to know it better. Learn what it needs and how to best care for it.

Make sure it feels the love. (The “love of money” is NOT the root of all evil—deprivation and destitution is.)

 

The Absurdity of Arbitrary Deadlines & My New Decision

“Want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans”--anonymous

Let’s talk about arbitrary deadlines. We’ve all made them.

A first-time writer I know gave herself a year to complete a novel. But health problems kept interfering. As the year came to an end, she sank into depression. “I feel like a failure,” she kept saying.

Don’t get me wrong. Deadlines are a useful tool to keep us on track.

The trouble comes when we don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, we cling to our commitment or brutally reproach ourselves for screwing up.

(Warning: Self-flagellation does not further the creative process.)

I once read something from Abraham Hicks I’ll never forget: “Life is supposed to be fun. If you are doing it for any other reason, then you are not connecting to your Source Energy.”

Instead of freaking out when arbitrary deadlines go unmet, ask yourself: Would I rather live with the tranquility of trusting a Higher Source or tolerate the stress of self-imposed pressure?

It may be time to step back rather than doggedly pursuing a rigid decision,

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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