You probably know the tale of The Emperor’s New Clothes right?

An Emperor orders a suit of clothes that are invisible to anyone who is incompetent or stupid. The emperor can’t see the clothes, but is so afraid of being judged incompetent or stupid that he pretends to be delighted with the garments and “wears” them in a parade through town. All the onlookers pretend to see them too, until a child yells out, “He hasn’t got any clothes on!” 

There’s a modern version of that tale that every woman (and man) should know.

An aging woman, dressed in rags, ambles through crowded streets, feeling invisible, like a second class citizen.

Suddenly, she hears a ruckus from where she just came. Glancing  over her shoulder, she sees a little girl, pointing to her in amazement. 

“That’s the Empress!” the little girl squeals repeatedly to her mother.

The mother starts to scold the girl until she realizes her daughter is telling the truth.  She  passed by this disheveled woman many times, but never before recognized her magnificence. A crowd gathers, whispering beneath their breath, staring at the Empress with awe and admiration.

At that moment, the woman in rags realizes she’s not a second class citizen, but a powerful woman who’s been brainwashed since birth to believe she’s inferior. Until this moment, she had been oblivious to that fact.

That’s when the Empress recognized a deeper truth.  That little girl didn’t just free the Empress, but all women from the paralyzing premise of female inferiority. 

The two versions represent the basic differences between men and women: For the most part, men walk through life, assuming they’re competent, everyone knows it and they feel entitled. Women assume they’re less than, everyone sees it, and we feel unworthy.  While men fearlessly assert their power, we fearfully project it onto others (often men).

Here’s what we can learn from this all too-true fairy tale: 

When women finally own their power and magnificence, both women and men will be liberated to be their authentic selves.  

Where do you give your power away? Leave me a comment below.

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To state the obvious—the  most efficient way for entrepreneurs to earn more is to raise their prices. 

The same holds true if you’re an employee. You must negotiate for more, whether taking a new job or requesting a raise.

Yet this comes as a revelation to many, and a source terror to most.  

But think about this. Linda Babcock, in Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and Gender Divide writes, “A woman who routinely negotiates her salary increases will earn over $1 million dollars more by the time she retires than a woman who accepts what she’s offered every time without asking for more.” 

A salary offer is not a foregone conclusion. Ninety percent of Human Resource professionals polled expect salaries to be negotiated.  Here are 12 surefire tips for a successful negotiation.

1.  Research the going rates in your field. Ask the high end of the spectrum. You can always negotiate down, but never up.  

2.   Have points prepared, build a case, around your value and what you bring to the company.

3.  Always start negotiations on a positive note. For example, thank the employer for the opportunity before making a counter offer.

4.  “No” means “not now.” 

5.  Negotiate salary only after a job offer. Don’t be the first to bring it up. As one expert explained, “Make them fall in love with you before talking money.”

6.  Can’t get the amount you want? Negotiate other items: early salary review, profit sharing, educational programs, etc

7.  Act confident (even if you don’t feel it). Communicate with authority. Perceived confidence has a big impact.

8.  Request 24 to 72 hours to think over the offer.

9.  If someone acts put off by a reasonable counter offer, consider it a red flag or negotiating ploy. Perhaps the employer doesn’t value you or wants to intimidate you into agreement.

10.  The best time to negotiate is when you have job offers from another company.

11.  Get the offer in writing.

12,  Above all, focus on relationship building. It’s tougher for someone to say ‘no’ if they like you.

How do you feel about negotiating? Leave a comment below.

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