The Downside of Personal Growth

Have you noticed that whenever you change, you’re sure to upset someone close to you? Usually someone who’s resisting moving forward themselves. It could be a spouse, a parent, or a friend.

It happened to me with my second husband. I was an aspiring journalist when we met, sorely underpaid, but with lots of free time. Three months after the wedding, I decided to focus on building a profitable business.

He didn’t like this ‘new me’ one bit. It eventually led to our divorce.

At first I was crushed. But when I started interviewing six-figure women for my second book, it hit me.

To go to the next level financially, I had to surround myself with people who were cheering me on, not trying to rein me in.

Underearners (like I was) tend to hang out with pessimists, worrywarts, naysayers. The only thing they’re likely to support is the status quo.

High earners, however, make conscious efforts to cultivate new relationships with people of the same ilk, people who cheer them on, hold them accountable, model what’s possible and inspire them to aim higher.

Creating a supportive community is mandatory for two reasons.

First, change is difficult and requires courage. If the people around you are going to judge, ridicule or reject you, it’s way too easy to throw in the towel.

The second reason is best explained by the old adage, You become who you’re with.” Not only are we attracted to people like us, we also unconsciously mimic others to feel like we fit in.

Rest assured, creating a supportive community doesn’t mean banishing people you love from your life. But—and this is a big BUT—you can no longer abandon your needs to make everyone else happy.

Do you have people in your life who will support and encourage your success? If not, how will you go about creating that supportive community? Leave me a comment below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Lisa


    I’m so sorry your 2nd husband didn’t support you. What a fool he obviously was! Some people like the control and like that you have a lot of free time to spend with them. They are afraid of loosing you.

    When I told my husband I was asking for a pay rise, he snapped back “you should”! Then he said “if they don’t pay you what you want, walk away”.

    I’m the type of lady that would get bored pretty quickly if my life was about sitting on the sofa binge watching TV and pushing a shopping cart around Target, so I’m grateful for his support!

    • barbara huson

      You’re so sweet, Lisa. That’s fabulous that you have such a supportive husband. The good news is that I now have the most loving supportive husband…what a difference it makes. I celebrate both of our blessings!

  • Jean Wolfe

    I have recently moved and have a clean slate to start making friends. I have definitely found that finding the right group of people has made me feel more comfortable. It is based around improvisation so everyone is willing to take some risk – which is a good place to start!

    • barbara huson

      Jean, congratulations on your move. And you’re so right on…finding the right group of people makes all the difference. Sounds like that’s exactly what you’re attracting! Way to go! Thanks for sharing.

    • Lisa


      Glad you’ve found “your people”. I found I was able to improvise more when I had a lot of free time. I pretty much need to make plans with people these days.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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