When Someone Calls You a Bitch, say Thank You!

One question I always ask financially successful women: What is your biggest regret?  

Almost everyone has the same response. Not speaking up sooner.

As one woman, a 7th grade drop out, told me, “You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you demand.”

But even the most successful found it downright scary to ask for what they wanted, to say no to what they didn’t.

You know why? Studies prove that assertive, forceful men are given high marks by their bosses.

Assertive, forceful women are labeled a bitch.  

I’m here to tell you—being a bitch is not a bad thing. That’s where our power is.

I’m not talking about the bitchy part. That’s the co-dependent in us who suppresses her true needs and gets very resentful.

The bitch is the powerful part who refuses to be a doormat, a victim, or tolerate injustices; who has the courage to be who she is and want what she wants.

She’s the Babe In Total Control of Herself.

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Stuck Points Suck…Or Do They?

I always hated those times I felt stuck. No matter how long they lasted, or how quickly they passed, these were always very dark, dreaded periods.

But that was before I realized: every Stuck Point has a purpose.

I was in the gym, working out with a new trainer, about to do a chest press with no added weight. I lay flat on my back, grabbed the bar, pushed it high above my body, lowered it to just above my chest, then lifted it back up, repeating the exercise 12 times.

No problem. It was easy.

Then my trainer added 5 pound weights to each end of the bar. I felt the difference immediately.

By the second repetition, my arms were quivering. The third time I lowered the bar to my chest, it wouldn’t budge.

I strained. I struggled. I was clearly stuck. My ego felt deflated. My trainer saw it differently.

“That’s how you build muscles,” he explained, “by getting past the stuck point.”

In the next couple of weeks, I could do 12 reps without flinching. But rather than let me bask in my glory, my trainer added more weight.

And sure enough, I was instantly at a new stuck point.

At that moment, the weights became an obvious metaphor for life.

Getting past my stuck points helped me grow stronger, build confidence and experience higher levels of achievement.

When I got past my stuck points I discovered new possibilities I could never have predicted.

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Do the Hard Work Do The Scary Stuff

Feel the Fear

If I had to point to the most important secret I learned from interviewing six-figure women, it would have to be this. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

These women were supremely confident. But they weren’t fearless. Quite the contrary.

Beneath their confident exteriors lurked layers of insecurity. Every woman admitted grappling with feelings of inadequacy, incompetence, and fear. I was stunned by how many felt like a fraud and were afraid others would find out.

That’s exactly how I felt. The only difference between them and me, I realized, was simply this—they did not let fear stop them. They felt the dread. Had the doubts. And did it anyway.

So guess what I began doing? How about you?

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The Psychology of Affluence

Scott Fitzgerald once said to Hemingway “The rich are different from you and me.” To which the other author replied: “Yes, they have more money.”

True. But the more important question is: Why do they have more money?

The reason, I believe, is that the rich think differently.

I grew up wealthy. I’ve talked to thousands of affluent women. I’m not talking about highly paid celebrities that go bankrupt, but those who sustain their wealth over a long period.

One day, I made a list of things I consistently hear the affluent say, or imply. I came up with 9 common statements that seem to represent how they think.

  1. I am confident about my ability to create wealth. It’s part of my self-image
  2. I respect money and I value myself.
  3. I understand and follow the rules of money (spend less; save more; invest wisely).
  4. I see no obstacles. Only opportunities.
  5. I talk possibility. Not limitation.
  6. I’m willing to do the tough stuff (that scares everyone else…and also me!)
  7. I know how to use risk to amplify my wealth.
  8. I rely on a team to help me manage my money.
  9. I take responsibility…for everything.

If you can think of more, I’d love to hear them. Also, these 9 statements make great affirmations.

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Top Ten Tips for a Terrific Negotiation

1 Know what you want. Research the going rates in your field. Ask the high end of the spectrum. You can always negotiate down, but never up.

2 Have points prepared. Build a case around your value and what you bring to the company.

3 Always start negotiations on a positive note.  For example, thank the employer for the opportunity and make a counter offer.

4 “No” means “not now.”

5 Negotiate more than money: early salary review, signing bonus, relocation costs, profit sharing, flexible schedule, paid time off, benefits, perks, educational programs, expense account, club memberships, bigger office, laptop, cell phone, job title.

6 Act confident (even if you don’t feel it). Perceived confidence has a big impact.

7 Request 24 to 72 hours to think over the offer.

8 If someone acts put off by a reasonable counter offer, consider it a red flag or negotiating ploy. Perhaps the employer doesn’t value what you bring to the table. Or it’s an effort to intimidate you into agreement.

9 The best time to negotiate, or renegotiate, is when you have job offers from another company.

10 Above all, focus on relationship building. It’s a lot more difficult to say ‘no’ if they like you.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at:

Sacred Success

How Do You Know When You’re Really RICH?

Here’s an interesting question. How much money does it take to be rich? What would you say?

Of course, you may argue, there’s more to being rich than having money—there’s love, health, freedom, etc. All true. But for the purpose of research, let’s stick with a specific figure. How much money do you think you need to feel rich?

Despite a myriad of studies, no one can agree on a single number. The responses range from a mere $1.4 million to a whopping $100 million…and everything in between.

One thing that struck me. The amount is always more than the respondent had. As one researcher put it, “People always give a number that is twice their current net worth or income. Those with $100,000 in income say $200,000, while those worth $5 million say $10 million.”

This got me thinking. There’s no universal number because ‘rich’ is an attitude, not an amount. When you can say “I have enough to live my life on my own terms,” you can, indeed, call yourself rich.

Discomfort Brings Success

Discomfort is a Good Thing!

The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable.

Anxiety, fear, worry, nervousness, resistance…all these are normal reactions to new situations.

Fear does not mean something’s wrong. Fear just means that you’re doing something different. And doing it differently is exactly what’s required to go to the next level.

So if its financial success you want, start looking for ways to be uncomfortable.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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