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Where Power Goes to Hide

She had an important decision to make. And was terribly confused.

“What should I do?’ she pleaded, sounding more like a child than the statuesque professional sitting across from me.

I debated my response and decided to go for it. “That’s not the question a powerful woman would ask,” I said.

She looked at me dumbfounded. It wasn’t what she expected to hear.

I suggested she ask herself the Power Question: What do I want? What do I really want? Not what your partner, parent or society wants—what you want.

I explained, “A powerful woman knows who she is, knows what she wants and expresses that in the world…unapologetically.” 

 “You give your power away the moment you look ‘out there’ for answers, approval or validation. You’re giving others control of your life.”

Admittedly, I assured her, “’What do I want?’ is not always easy to answer. Most of us never stop to consider the question.  Even fewer have figured out the answer.

The answer can be very scary because if you tell yourself the truth, you go from being a victim to taking responsibility. Essentially our fear of power is our fear of becoming who we truly are.

So, I asked her again: “What do you want???”… and added in a hushed whisper…“If you weren’t afraid.”

I watched as she pondered the question. Gradually, I saw the confusion lift as relief took its place. Then she broke into a wide grin and told me exactly what she wanted. Clearly. Concisely. Confidently.

“That felt so empowering,” she exclaimed.

She finally understood: Truth is Power. And as with all of us, our truth always hides behind our fear. 

My question to you: What do you want, that fear is keeping at bay?


Comments & Feedback

  • Lenora Terrell

    I am so deep in the weeds of confusion and sadness, I no longer know what I want. I feel undead.

    I am always “trying to figure out..” I want this…oh no that…wait, why do I want that?

  • Laura McCann

    I can’t even!! This is so profound and very timely!! It’s very true. Clarity brings power!

  • Elizabeth Griffiths

    I really appreciate everything you write, Barbara and this post so resonates with me – I have to admit to giving my power away to externals constantly and this really brought me up short as I like to think I am a woman of power…yet seem to go nowhere. I have the same issues personally -and so the same issues professionally for years -always the same familiar angst..To be honest I don’t know what I want..or daren’t let myself think about it too much… easier to hide and blame?

  • Ayodele Moore

    Wow Barbara, this simple question composed of 4 words just sent me rocketing out of my little comfortable world. I want to exoress my power out into this world with my work, my relationships and in my creativity giving outstanding service with gratitude grace and joy. “Iam Coming Out……”. I am OUT!@!!!

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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