Barbara Huson

The Leading Authority on Women, Wealth & Power

6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies – Part 1

Written by Barbara Huson, The Leading Authority on Women and Wealth

I heard from a woman whose husband was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her question to me:  What should a woman do before her husband dies?

My heart went out to her,  along with my admiration.  Instead of going into denial, she went into action.  Death is not easy to talk about,  let alone prepare for.  What would you do in her situation?  After all,  most women will face a similar dilemma at some point.

I’ll never forget,  when my father got ill,  I went to  my mother.  “Do you know what Daddy has planned for you when he dies?” I asked.

“Oh yes,” she replied quickly, but when I pressed her for details, she couldn’t tell me.  She also made it abundantly clear:  this was not a conversation she wanted to have.  I made it even clearer:  avoidance was not an option.  Here’s what we did:

1.       We had “the talk.” I had my Mom sit down with my Dad and we looked at all the financial documents:  bank statements, investments, estate planning, etc.  This was not, by any means, an easy conversation.  Dealing with death is emotionally excruciating, at least it was for us.  Nerves were frayed.  My Mom glazed over.  My Dad lost patience.  I kept scratching my wrist (a nervous habit) until it bled.  But by the end,  my Mom knew where every penny was and what arrangements he had made… and hadn’t made.

2.       We assembled “ the team.” My Dad was very much a do-it-yourselfer.   I wanted my Mom to have her own team of professionals to support and guide her (during and after).  First on our list was to hire an estate lawyer… we found one (through my sister).  Mom, my sisters and I met with him first, brought in my father, and together my parents created a very good, tax efficient estate plan… which my Mom not only understood, but had a big  role in creating.

3.       We updated documents.  We made sure the Will, Power of Attorney, EVERYTHING reflected their latest info and current wishes.

As I said, not an easy process.  Sadly, many of us will go through this.  But being prepared, financially, will make it a little easier.

In my next post, I’ll list the final 3 steps you need to take, to prepare yourself.  Stay tuned.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
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www.barbarastanny.com

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6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies – Part 2

Written by Barbara Huson, The Leading Authority on Women and Wealth

As I mentioned in my Part-1 blog  on this difficult topic several days ago; I had heard from a woman whose husband was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her question to me: “What should a woman do before her husband dies”?

Her question caused me to recall the agony my mother and I went through when my father became ill, forcing us to make difficult decisions and plans at an already difficult time.

In Part-1, I outlined steps 1 through 3.  Here I’ll finish the series, with steps 4 through 6:

4.       We envisioned a future without Dad.  My mom started thinking about living single: how much money she’d need to live on (a lot…  she wasn’t going to work nor did she have to, but she did like to spend), how she wanted her money invested (very conservatively), and who would assist her with this.  The whole family helped her find an investment advisor (we interviewed 3).  She also hired a CPA – after a while, it became clear he wasn’t a good fit, so she recently hired someone else.  She meets with her “team” on a regular basis to this day.

5.       We had  regular family meetings. These meetings, though often emotional, were absolutely wonderful in getting everyone on the same page while Dad was still alive.  Meetings included my sisters, spouses, and all the grandchildren (we eventually had great grandkids crawling around too).  My Dad let everyone know what his wishes were, especially for philanthropy, and enrolled the whole family to the board of his foundation.  These meetings drew us closer in many ways.

6.       Mom talked to friends.   She’d had several friends who lost their husband’s, so she talked to them at length. They gave her great advice which really helped her see life goes on, happily so.

Having done these things, by the time my father died, all my mother had to do was grieve.  Every detail was in order.  There were no surprises.  All papers signed.  All major decisions made.  Her team was in place.  Practically speaking, his passing was seamless.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
[email protected]
www.barbarastanny.com

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Start Reading The Wall Street Journal, Now!

Written by Barbara Huson, The Leading Authority on Women and Wealth

Note to financial neophytes—don’t let theStart Reading The Wall Street Journal - Now! Wall Street Journal intimidate you.  It’s a fabulous learning tool…and offers some fascinating reading… for everyone, no matter how much, or how little, you know.  http://online.wsj.com/home-page

Sure it’s full of, what may appear to some, as indecipherable gobbly-gook, written in ‘broker-speak.’  But the WSJ is a very powerful resource, so ignore all of that and focus on the following:

1.      Peruse the front page.  Every once in a while there are some great human interest stories about the good, bad, and especially the greedy.  Plus, the side-bar on the left is like “Current Events for Dummies”… a collection of news snippets giving you a speedy update  to the latest news (financial and otherwise).

2.      Glance over the following two sections: Marketplace and Money& Investing.  A quick peek is all you need. You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll pick up just by osmosis.

3.      Savor the fourth section (called by different names depending on the day of the week): Personal Journal (Tuesday-Friday); The Journal Report (Monday);  Weekend Journal (Saturday).  This section is loaded with easy-to-read,  often fascinating,  and always useful  tidbits….everything from fashion, sports and personal finance to restaurant, wine and  book reviews.

Let’s take Monday’s WSJ’s Journal Report (theme for this report was “Your Money Matters”).  The front page article was Best Online Tools for Personal Finance, and it was chock full of excellent (and free) website recommendations.

Even if the only thing you do is glance at the Wall Street Journal everyday for 3 months, you’ll be amazed at how much you learn!  Don’t be intimated.  The Wall Street Journal is a great resource, and a must read if you’re serious about upping your personal “financial awareness quotient”!   Try it and report back.

Can The “Secret” Really Work?

Written by Barbara Huson, The Leading Authority on Women and Wealth

I’m a big fan of The Secret.  I’ve watched the DVD at least 50 times.  This wildly successful video and book introduced the “Law of Attraction” (LOA) to millions of people.   And that’s a very good thing…to a point.Can the Secret really work?

Simply put, the Law of Attraction says:  Our thoughts create our reality.  What we focus on expands.  In other words, if you want to be rich, don’t focus on lack of wealth.

But here’s where it gets confusing.  How many people (you, maybe?) really want wealth,  and refuse to focus on anything but abundance… yet still,  nothing changes.   Their bills pile up while their bank balance shrivels.

What the Secret failed to mention is that the LOA is only part of the equation for creating wealth.  What’s missing are the other 2 Laws:

1.       The Law of Discipline
2.       The Law of Congruency

#1. The Law of Discipline.  Discipline — consistent activity in the direction of your desire — is the root of all success.  You can visualize flowers blooming, hitting a hole in one, or wads of cash,  but unless you exercise disciplined effort and pull the weeds, practice your putt, or follow the rules of money (spend less, save more, invest wisely), you’re not going to succeed at anything.

#2.  The Law of Congruency.  You get what you want not what you ask for.   For example, you may say “I want to be rich,” but if you distrust wealthy people, don’t believe you deserve wealth, or see money as the root of all evil, then wealth isn’t really what you want.  This inner discord explains why affirmations or positive thinking, as powerful as they are, don’t always work… your spoken goals are in conflict with your true desires, and deep down, you don’t actually want what you’re asking for.

Whenever I’m wondering why I’m not attracting something, I always ask myself 2 questions, in this order:

1.       Why don’t I want it?

2.       What am I not doing, that I need to be doing?

Try it, and let me know what you think!  And for more help and support in achieving your financial and personal desires, check out the schedule of Seminars listed on my website!

Questions about Financial Advisors

Written by Barbara Huson, The Leading Authority on Women and Wealth

I’m a big believer in working with financial advisors. But I’ve noticed that most women have a lot of questions about working with professionals, and don’t always know how to find the answers.

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions I get*:

Q. What if I inherited financial professionals from my family and don’t want to continue working with them?

A. If you don’t like their personality, values or investment style, find someone else. Remember, it’s your money now and you need to do what is right for you. You may find it more difficult to dismiss advisors who are old family friends but, if you tell them honestly that you want to choose your own advisor, most likely they will wish you well.

Q. Do I have to sign a contract with my financial advisor? I’m afraid of getting myself into something I can’t easily get out of.

A. You will have to sign a contract with any investment advisor or brokerage firm to do business with them. The inviolable rule, of course, is never to sign any document you do not thor­oughly understand. Always take your time and if any point is unclear, ask questions. For extra protection, you should review the contract with a knowledgeable friend or attorney before signing it.

Q. Every time my advisor calls suggesting that I buy something, I think to myself does she really believe this is a good investment or is she just after a commission?

A. If you feel unsure about the motives of an advisor working on commission, you need to ask yourself: Do I generally suspect people are trying to take advantage of me, or is there something about this particular advisor that makes me uneasy? If you tend to worry that people are more interested in your money than in your welfare, use this as an opportunity to examine when those feelings are justified and when they aren’t. If you think the problem is with the advisor, discuss your concerns with that person, and then review the reasons for your concerns and the advisor’s responses with a trusted friend or professional. And, of course, you can switch to a fee-only financial planner or a wrap account that’s inclusive of all fees.

Q. What if my advisor pressures me to buy something?

A. If someone tells you, “Buy this now—the price will never be this low again,” or, “This stock will hit 100 in six months,” your antennae should go up. Never buckle under pressure. Think seriously about changing advisors. As one money manager put it, “There’s always another stock and there’s always another day.”

Q. The value of my portfolio is going down instead of up, and I think my broker is at fault. Is there any chance I can recover my losses?

A. Yes. If your broker or other investment advisors have recommended unsuitable investments and failed to explain their risks, churned your account, or bought securities without your permission, you can file a claim against them. Your advisor is generally required to settle the dispute by arbitration. I suggest you discuss your case with a lawyer or other professionals who represent clients in disputes with brokers.

Q. What if I want to change advisors?

A. Before you walk away, give your current advisor a chance to respond to your complaints. Sometimes just hearing the other person’s explanation can clear the air and preserve a working relationship. If, after you’ve talked you still want to take your business elsewhere, find a new advisor who will arrange to transfer your investments for you. Then tell your advisor you want to close your account. Switching brokers should be a simple process, especially if all your holdings are commonly traded stocks, bonds, and mutual funds that are easily moved from one brokerage firm to another. Simply fill out a form listing all the investments you held at the old brokerage firm and give it to the new broker who will take care of everything else. If you’re changing money managers, the process can be slightly more complicated. Often money managers will give you a pro-rated refund and retain a fee covering 30 days.

For more information, check out my booklet: Finding A Financial Advisor that You can Trust

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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