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Seven Things Smart Women Know About Money

Written by Barbara Huson

woman on stairs1. Smart women think beyond being a wage earner and dollar watcher to become a wealth builder. Wealth has nothing to do with what you make. Wealth comes from what you do with what you have. You create wealth by investing in assets that will grow faster than inflation and taxes take it away.

2. Smart women don’t wait until they have a lot of money to begin. Wealth begins with as little as $25 to $50 a month. (If you simply put $2.00 aside every day, you’d have saved more than $60 at the end of each month). Through the “magic” of compounding, small sums grow into a sizable portfolio.

3. Smart women don’t wait for a crisis to get started. A crisis is the worst time to start anything. You can’t think straight. You tend to make terrible decisions, sink into paralysis, and leave yourself wide open to financial losses. Instead, make a conscious choice to become smart with money.

4. Smart women know with total conviction they must do it themselves. Dispelling the myth that “someday my prince will come” is the most important financial decision you will ever make. Prince Charming need not be a man, or even a person. Our “prince” could be an insurance settlement or the lottery, anything we fantasize will save us financially.

5 Smart women talk to others about money. You can learn so much from another’s mistakes and draw inspiration from their successes. You can use others as sounding boards, role models, and sources of encouragement, advice, and information. Why not start a financial book club or discussion group?

6. Smart women deal with their unconscious attitudes to avoid sabotaging success. If you find yourself fogging up or spacing out, if you can’t seem to apply the information you learn, or resist learning it in the first place, then chances are, psychological factors are impeding your progress. Once you identify your internal blocks, success can occur spontaneously, almost effortlessly.

7. Smart women understand risk makes her wealthy. Risk in the market refers to volatility and volatility refers to price swings. The more a stock moves up and down, the riskier it is. But those fluctuations only matter when you sell your holdings. The longer your time horizon, the less important those ups and downs are. If you’ve got say 10 years, those daily fluctuations are irrelevant.

It’s not about money…

Written by Barbara Huson

A lot of women in my workshops tell me they feel guilty about wanting to make more money, as if a profit motive were something shameful. I understand their conflict. I used to struggle with it myself. But that was before I wrote my book, Secrets of Six-figure Women. Stone archI always asked every woman I interviewed this question: Are you doing what you’re doing for the money? With rare exceptions, every one swore that it wasn’t the money that motivated her success. It was what the money represented, something much deeper, more personal, and very individual. These women were driven more by what they hoped to achieve rather than what they aspired to earn. Each one had a vision for her life based on cherished values like recognition, independence, security, or achievement. These intangible goals rather than hard cash provided the fuel for their financial success.

However, there was an important distinction that made a big impact on me. Granted, these women weren’t in it for the money. But at the same time—this is the key—they darn well wanted to be well compensated because they felt they were worth it. Their financial success didn’t come from the love of money, but love of self…and the value they placed on what they offered.

I have come to see that achieving self love, self worth, self respect are the real secrets to financial success, much more so than working longer hours or seeking multiple streams of income. Would you agree?

Playing Full Out

Written by Barbara Huson

skydivingAre You Playing Full Out? It’s an important question. Your response determines whether you’re creating the life of your dreams or settling for mediocrity.

From my interviews with financially successful women, I learned there are two games to play:

  • The Underearning Game
  • The High Earning Game

The Underearning Game is called Not To Lose. The goal is to stay safe, look good, and be comfortable. The way to play is by avoiding uneasiness or fear.

The High Earning game is called To Win. The goal is to go as far as you can with all that you’ve got, and when you fall down, you get back up and keep going. The only way to play the high earning game is to play full out.

Problem is, sometimes it’s hard to tell which game you’re actually playing. There are times when I swear I’m giving my all, when later it hits me—I was fooling myself. I really wasn’t playing a true full out.

So I devised the following list to help you assess which game you’re really playing.

Ten Signs I’m Playing Full Out

  1. I know what I want and am committed to getting it. (And if I don’t know, I devote time and energy to figuring it out).
  2. I am so focused on my vision that I don’t get distracted or scattered by irrelevant, draining, or conflicting tasks.
  3. I am willing to experience whatever it takes—defeat, embarrassment, even humiliation—to achieve what I want.
  4. I am always doing things I’ve never done before and/or don’t want to do.
  5. I make at least one unreasonable (i.e. scary) request a week.
  6. I don’t say ‘yes’ when I really want to say ‘no,’ even if it means rocking the boat or upsetting another.
  7. I regularly seek out support, and refuse to spend time with or discuss my dream with naysayers (even if they’re related)
  8. Every time I’m afraid to do something, I force myself to do it anyway. (And I catch myself when I try to justify not doing it.)
  9. I am rigorous about the thoughts that I think and the words that I use, making sure they’re positive, supportive, and appreciative (of myself and others).
  10. I take time to relax and pamper myself so I don’t burn out.

What do you think of this list? Is there anything you’d add?

How Powerful are You?

Written by Barbara Huson

Not long ago, BusinessWeek ran a cover story on Women and Power. They featured a series of women that ran the gamut of economic status and job titles. It immediately reminded me of an important lesson I learned from successful women:

Money does not give us power

Power comes from the choices we make. That’s a very important distinction. Not all high earners are powerful women.

In my research, successful women fell into two groups. The Successful High Earners and the Hard-driven High Earners.

The Hard-driven ones are  superwomen on steroids, classic workaholics.  They are NOT powerful women. In fact, they have more in common with underearners than their higher paid peers. They live in deprivation…not necessarily money, but time, joy, freedom, and control of their life. They feel trapped, often by the money itself.

You know what makes Successful High Earners so powerful? Conscious choices based on self awareness. Most of these women actually take time to for self reflection, to figure out what was really important to them.  Their decisions are based, not on fear, but on their priorities, their most cherished values.

One of the most poignant examples was a woman who went to a workshop where she was asked this question: If you were on your deathbed, looking back at your life, what would make you feel happiest and satisfied with how you lived?  From that came a list of her top 5 priorities. Soon after, she was asked to be on the board of a business start-up in China. The meetings would be all expense paid weekends in SF. There was a time she would’ve jumped at the chance, but, she realized, Chinese business wasn’t one of her priorities.

“It would’ve been fun,” she told me. “I would’ve met interesting people, but it would’ve taken me away from my partner, the book I was writing, all those things that are really important.”

Spoken by a truly powerful woman. How about you? If you were on your deathbed, looking back at your life, what would make you feel happiest and satisfied with how you lived? When was the last time you identified your top priorities, your deepest values? More importantly, are you living them now?

Is Gender Discrimination Still a Problem?

Written by Barbara Huson

Men vs. Women?I actually believed it was fading. But I guess I was being naïve. A lot of high earning women (and not-so high-earners as well) are still contending with gender bias and sexual harassment. Not all successful women have to confront these problems. But for those who do, they tell me it’s one of the most frustrating challenges in their career. Maybe you know what I’m talking about.

“I wish we were all treated equally, but that just isn’t the case,” one woman told me, and she went on to say. “The guys will get asked by the people who run the firm to go golfing but they won’t ask me because I’m a woman. So my peers are hanging out with the decision makers on weekends and I’m not invited. “

When I asked her how she lived with that, she just shrugged, “I’ve grown to accept it. I don’t like it but what can I do? I counteract by not messing up, not making mistakes, and working harder.”

The women I’ve talked to seem to have found a recipe for coping that relies heavily on recognition, not resignation—acceptance, not anger, and a large dose of humor. When they’d give me examples of obvious unfairness, I’d shake my head and wonder how they handled these situations. Their responses were remarkably similar. “I just have a good laugh,” they’d say, “otherwise I’d go crazy.”

I’d be really interested to hear from those of you who’ve experienced gender discrimination. What has kept you from going crazy?

A Sure Sign You’re in the Discomfort Zone

Written by Barbara Huson

Glass wall - ResistanceYou know the feeling. You finally decide to take charge of your money. You’re going to get smart. You’re going to pay off your debt. You’re going to invest regularly. Off you go…when suddenly, you run smack dab into resistance.

Resistance, by the way, is the psychological term for “I don’t want to do this!” You don’t feel right. You get scared. You want to quit. Resistance, more than anything else, is what stops women from taking the financial reins.

Trouble is, resistance is very subtle and easy to justify. To help you identify when you’re in it, I’ve come up with Twelve Signs You’re In Resistance

1. YOU’RE TOO BUSY (“I have no time.”)

2. YOU PROCRASTINATE (“I’ll do it later.”)

3. YOU’RE SCARED INTO INACTION (“Omygawd, what if…?”)

4. YOU DEFER DECISIONS (“You do it, you decide.”)

5. YOU LOSE INTEREST (“This is boring, it’s not my thing.”)

6. YOU’RE FORGETFUL (“Oh, I meant to, but I forgot.”)

7. YOU’RE DISORGANIZED (“Where did I put that…?”)

8. YOU FOG UP, SPACE OUT (“What are you talking about?”)

9. YOU FEEL PARALYZED (“I just can’t think or get going.”)

10. YOU FIND REASONS NOT TO ACT (“I can’t because…”)

11. YOU’RE IMPATIENT (“This is taking way too long.”)

12. YOU KEEP RUNNING INTO NAYSAYERS (Other people say, ‘You can’t do that,” “That’s not possible.”) This form of resistance is especially sneaky. You project your own fear out onto others.

How do you get past resistance?

  • Understand that resistance is normal. It simply means things are changing, not that something is wrong
  • Do not let resistance derail you, at least not for very long
  • Whatever it is you don’t want to do, that is exactly what you need to do next

Think Big, Act Small

Written by Barbara Huson

Let me suggest a foolproof strategy for achieving financial savvy…especially if you’re having a hard time doing it. Think big. Act small. And never, ever stop until you reach your goal.

One reason so many have trouble with money—saving more, investing wisely, or paying off debt—is because it seems so overwhelming. And indeed it can be. But I truly believe the secret to success is this: small steps consistently taken create remarkable results.

I am convinced:

  1. It doesn’t take a lot of time to get smart.
  2. It doesn’t take a lot of money to create wealth.
  3. It’s best to begin when you’re young, but it’s never, ever too late to start.

A big part of attaining financial freedom is simply changing your habits.

Early on, I devised a 3-step plan for myself that was amazingly effective at changing my habitual avoidance. Try these 3 steps for 4 months, and see what happens:

Reading up1. Everyday, read something about money, even if it’s just for a minute or two, even if it’s only the headlines of the business section of the newspaper, or a money magazine while you’re waiting in line at the grocery. So much of getting smart or smarter about money is understanding the jargon and the current trends.

2. Every week, have a conversation about money, especially with someone who knows more than you. I learned this from my interviews with financially savvy women. Whenever you meet anyone who knows more than you, ask them how they got smart, the mistakes they made, and what’s worked best for them. I think it’s our secrecy and silence about money that keeps us stuck.

3. Every month, save. Automatically have money transferred from your checking account or paycheck to your savings account. How much? Better to save say $10 a month, than try to put aside too much and eventually give up because you feel the pinch. Small amounts really do add up surprisingly fast. And as the saying goes: it’s easier to find 500 ways to save $1 than it is to find 1 way to save $500.

When She Makes More Than He…

Written by Barbara Huson

Heart in the cold snowA recent NY Times article has created a lot of buzz. Young women, working in major cities, are surging way ahead of men in terms of earnings. This is a great news for a gender that’s long been on the short end of the income stick.

Still, this trend is bound to play havoc in some relationships. For centuries, men’s self esteem has been heavily linked to their financial success…just as women’s sense of femininity has been connected to being taken care of. Sure times have changed radically…but some egos are having trouble making the transition.

And it’s not just men who are having a hard time…women are too. I’ve talked with a lot of women, ambitious as they are, who secretly resent their husband’s inability to bring in the big bucks.

Jean Chatsky wrote a terrific article on keeping your relationship intact when your man earns less. She offers 5 tips:

  1. Talk and listen
  2. Be his biggest cheerleader
  3. Open yours, mine, and ours accounts
  4. Focus on the endgame (i.e. your dreams and goals)
  5. Recognize that marriage changes things

Excellent advice. Of the 5, I believe #1 is the critical piece. Especially the listening part. We all know it’s important to communicate. But fearful people can be vicious. Not because they’re mean-spirited, but because they’re scared. Make no mistake—role reversal can be scary because it threatens the status quo.

Successful communication means allowing anger, even rage, to be expressed…without taking it personally. It requires the willingness to tell your truth, blow off steam, express your fear and anger without the other person getting defensive, but listening with compassion and nonjudgement. Not easy, by any means.

I’d love to hear from those of you who have had these kind of discussions…what’s worked and what hasn’t??

Getting Past the Stuck Point

Written by Barbara Huson

I once kept a quote on my wall: “We pray to God when our foundation is being shaken, only to find out it’s God who is doing the shaking.”

I often recall those words when I coach women.

CalculatorJust yesterday, I talked to a client who was almost in tears. Her husband’s business unexpectedly went belly up. Suddenly, they had no income. She was forced to get a higher paying job.

“Do you think this crisis has anything to do with my decision to make more money and my lack of action?” she asked.

Obviously it was a rhetorical question.

I see this pattern all the time. Women do not get serious about money—making it or managing it—until a crisis hits. Either their world falls apart, or feels like it’s about to. That’s when they finally take action.

I did it myself. I waited until a million dollar tax bill almost wiped me out. Not smart!!

How about you? Are you avoiding financial stuff until the pain gets worse than the fear? Are you looking for a way to get going without having your very foundation violently (or even mildly) shaken.

If so, try this experiment. Focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you. Forget all the things that can go wrong. Instead consider all you can do when you have more money. Not just buying more shoes, but making a difference. Think about the joys of philanthropy, leaving a legacy, contributing to causes you feel passionate about, helping your kids, your parents, people you love.

That’s what I finally did. I started thinking about what kind of a role model I wanted to be for my daughters instead of obsessing about screwing up. When I made that shift, I had no choice…I could no longer let fear stop me!

I’d love to hear other ideas for getting unstuck. What worked for you?

Financial Abuse is a Form of Domestic Violence

Written by Barbara Huson

WeddingI’m really excited about a groundbreaking project—The Allstate Foundations Domestic Violence Program. They’ve hired me as their spokesperson.

For the first time, a large corporation is addressing an issue on a national level that no one’s talking about—Financial Abuse.

We tend to think of domestic violence as physical, emotional, and verbal. Yet financial abuse is just as insidious and dangerous….perhaps even more so because we don’t recognize it.

For years, I was the victim of financial abuse. And I had no idea. The signs were there. I just didn’t see them.

For example: My husband controlled the amount of money I had access to. He refused to discuss our finances with me, and withheld important information and documents. He got us into illegal deals, “forgot” to pay taxes that were in my name, racked up a huge debt, then left the country, so I was left holding the bag! I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my ignorance, I told no one what was going on.

According to a recent poll by The Allstate Foundation, the number one reason victims stay with their abusers is financial instability. So The Allstate Foundation is doing something about this horrific problem. Aside from raising public awareness and thought leadership, they’ve created 2 amazing programs:

  • A financial education curriculum designed especially for advocates and survivors of domestic abuse.
  • An Education and Job Training Fund that provides women with immediate grants for finding work or improving their skills.

You can find out more on www.econempowerment.org. If you are in immediate danger, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) .

Please spread the word. According to a 2006 Allstate Foundation national poll, over 74% of us know someone who is the victim of domestic violence. Now you can help.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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