Playing Full Out

skydivingAre You Playing Full Out? It’s an important question. Your response determines whether you’re creating the life of your dreams or settling for mediocrity.

From my interviews with financially successful women, I learned there are two games to play:

  • The Underearning Game
  • The High Earning Game

The Underearning Game is called Not To Lose. The goal is to stay safe, look good, and be comfortable. The way to play is by avoiding uneasiness or fear.

The High Earning game is called To Win. The goal is to go as far as you can with all that you’ve got, and when you fall down, you get back up and keep going. The only way to play the high earning game is to play full out.

Problem is, sometimes it’s hard to tell which game you’re actually playing. There are times when I swear I’m giving my all, when later it hits me—I was fooling myself. I really wasn’t playing a true full out.

So I devised the following list to help you assess which game you’re really playing.

Ten Signs I’m Playing Full Out

  1. I know what I want and am committed to getting it. (And if I don’t know, I devote time and energy to figuring it out).
  2. I am so focused on my vision that I don’t get distracted or scattered by irrelevant, draining, or conflicting tasks.
  3. I am willing to experience whatever it takes—defeat, embarrassment, even humiliation—to achieve what I want.
  4. I am always doing things I’ve never done before and/or don’t want to do.
  5. I make at least one unreasonable (i.e. scary) request a week.
  6. I don’t say ‘yes’ when I really want to say ‘no,’ even if it means rocking the boat or upsetting another.
  7. I regularly seek out support, and refuse to spend time with or discuss my dream with naysayers (even if they’re related)
  8. Every time I’m afraid to do something, I force myself to do it anyway. (And I catch myself when I try to justify not doing it.)
  9. I am rigorous about the thoughts that I think and the words that I use, making sure they’re positive, supportive, and appreciative (of myself and others).
  10. I take time to relax and pamper myself so I don’t burn out.

What do you think of this list? Is there anything you’d add?

Filed under: News & Updates

Comments & Feedback

  • Kayli

    What a great list! I’m going to chew on it for a while. And send it to my boyfriend.

  • barbarastanny

    So glad you liked it, Kayli. I appreciate your commenting. Let me know what your boyfriend thinks, OK?

    Warmly, Barbara

  • Kayli

    Ah, well, we’ve since parted ways. Looking at the list now, I’d say we had a (6) moment: realizing that our ideas/desires were incompatible, and each unwilling to say “yes” when we feel “no”. So, we released each other with love and the wish that we’ll each find someone better suited for us.

    In any case, I’d like to add that if you want to practice (8) in a very physical way, take a trapeze class : ) I did, just for fun, and it was the best scary thing I’ve ever done. Even though there’s a net and a safety harness and I know that I’ll be safe — it is still a scary thing to step off the board and fall in the air.

  • I was very touched by your sharing what happened with your boyfriend…what a powerful, mature decision by both of you.

    I’ve watched trapeze classes, but I’m terrified of heights…which is exactly why I should consider doing it, right???? Oh my!!!

  • Frances Hoffman

    Your item #4 would sit better with me if the second part read: “/ or am afraid of doing”, rahter than “/or don’t want to do”. There’s a big difference, and I trust my gut on what I don’t want to do…now the afraid-thing, that’s what needs to be overcome.
    PS – Your short haircut is fantastic.

  • Kathleen

    Dear Barbara,

    I haven’t reached out to you in a while since we last spoke about how my life has taken a tremendous turn because of reading your book: Six Secrets of Successful Women. As I had emailed you a while ago (maybe 3 years ago?) I had told you just how much your book changed my life. And I was absolutely flattered that you included my quote in: Overcoming Underearning, another wonderful read.

    I have since taken on a new position since that time and took a very large jump in salary and am well on my way to making the Six-Figures that I have always dreamed of and then was empowered to pursue once reading your book.

    You have also given me the courage to make my passion: teaching Vinyasa Yoga a strong business and I am always making sure that I am getting compensated appropriately. I truly LOVE empowering others to take control of their spiritual, emotional and physical lives through Yoga. I want you to know that your words have guided me through making the right choices as I continue to increase my Yoga clientele base and focus on “letting go of the ledge” completely to make Yoga instruction part of a successful business that I will commit myself to for the rest of my life.


  • Frances, I couldn’t agree with you more. But sometimes, for me, the line between intuition and fear, can be pretty murky. The way my fear shows up is often in the guise of “I don’t want to do this…” as in the year I spent telling everyone “I don’t want to do a blog.” I didn’t. But once I started, I’m having so much fun. I was just scared to death that I wouldn’t have anything to say and no one would want to read it. Know what I mean???

  • Wow, Kathleen, I’m totally inspired by your post. I love that you made Yoga a business. How beautiful. How empowering. I’m so glad you wrote again. You are a role model for many. Thank you so much! xo

Use The Form Below to Share Your Feedback And Opinion

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

Top Back To Top
Site Design Rebecca Pollock
Site Development Alchemy + Aim