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Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy

Have the headlines got you spooked?

Let me introduce you to Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy. It goes like this: no matter how tough times are, there’ll always be people who are prospering. Why not you?

I discovered this law after I wrote Secrets of Six-Figure Women...at  the height of the dot com boom.  But when the bubble finally burst, I called each woman back to see how they were faring.

Even as the economy was tanking, many of their careers were thriving. They were finding new jobs, negotiating raises, winning promotions, doubling (even tripling) their client base, making more money than ever before.

“Just because it’s a down time,” said a woman whose coaching business was up 40 percent, “You don’t have to go down with it. There’s lots of opportunity. You’ve just got to find it.”

That’s not to say there weren’t those who suffered a job loss or saw lower profits. Yet even they were amazingly upbeat about their future.

I asked one woman how she felt when the hedge fund she managed collapsed. Her reply: “I regard it as a godsend. As long as the money was so good, it was tough to leave and look for something more challenging.”

These women viewed the slumping economy as the perfect chance to pin down new strategies, explore something different or position themselves for the inevitable recovery.

They  never used bad times as an excuse not to stretch. Rather than buying into bad news, they concentrated on their value.

One high earner had just negotiated a very lucrative compensation package for a new job. When her boss balked at her terms, she refused to budge.

“I have a lot to contribute and the company needs to compensate me appropriately or I’ll go elsewhere,” she told him.

I see exactly the same thing happening today. While many (read: underearners) are focused on doors closing, high earners are finding windows of opportunity.

Here’s just one example. A woman who came to my Sacred Success® Retreat last May just sent me this email:

“I’ve increased my business income 3 ½ times since the retreat,  compared to all of 2010. Most importantly, I am happy, peaceful and content.  I feel calm, more comfortable in my own skin.”

Why not you too? While most of the world is focused on hard times, I invite all of you reading this blog to look for potential opportunities. They’re there. I promise!

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Somebody’s Got To Say No!!!

Put me on record for saying NO!

NO to the way the “Old Boys” are playing!   No to the mess they got us in (and not just in the financial sector).

But I’m also saying “YES!” (No point dwelling on the downside.)

YES to the other game I learned from interviewing women making millions. These women achieved mega success playing a very different game from what the world (read: men) models.

It’s the game I’ve come to call Scared Success™.  It’s the game we women (and many enlightened men) were born to play!

What breaks my heart, however, is that too many of us futilely struggle to follow the old rules, without realizing we have another option.

Briefly, here’s 6 differences between the Male Model and the Feminine Formula (which is the basis for Scared Success™ ).

Male Model                                                                           Feminine Formula

1.  Pursue Profit for Profit’s sake 1. Pursue Profit for a Higher Purpose
2.  Push Yourself (and Everyone Else) 2.  Respect Yourself (and Everyone Else)
3.  Plan and Control 3.  Surrender, Allow Uncertainty
4.  Display Entitlement 4.  Exercise Mental Discipline
5.  Create Teams, Control Them 5.  Create Teams, Inspire Them
6.  Leave a Personal Monument to Your Name 6.  Leave a Legacy for the World

 

In my next blog, I’ll give you the specific ground rules for applying the Feminine Formula to the new game Scared Success™ . Meanwhile, I’m really curious what you think about these differences. Please comment below.

 

Women, Money, Power…Oh My!!!

“We are still trying to overcome the fear that power and womanliness

are mutually exclusive.” Arianna Huffington

Q. Why do so many women have trouble with money?  (Hint: it has nothing to do with money.)

A. It’s about power…or rather, our fear of power.

Here’s the problem. Most of us have never been taught the secret wisdom of achieving wealth and wielding power, as a woman.  In fact, historically, women have been carefully conditioned to avoid power as a survival mechanism.  As a psychologist once told me: “Powerful women have been burned at the stake.”

Admittedly, many women have attained economic success in the male system, but it usually came at an appalling price. In 2003, New York Times reporter Lisa Belkin sparked a media frenzy when she coined the phrase “the opt-out revolution” to describe the flood of women exiting the workforce.  They were no longer willing to stay in a system that rewarded the sacrifice of self for the sake of success.

But what the media defined as women opting out, I believe was, in large part, women waking up. They were beginning to question the status quo, realizing there must be a way to stay true to themselves and still be well compensated, without selling their souls or sacrificing their values.

For centuries women have come together to trade recipes and remedies, share tips on catching   a man or raising a child—but there is little, if any, collective wisdom for wealth and power.

4 years ago, I began interviewing Mega Earners, women worth millions.    What I learned changed my life.  These women were playing a very different game than the one society models, with very different rules.  I call this game Sacred Success™. And I’m determined to teach this game to as many women as I can.

Consider this blog my personal invitation to join me for one of my  Sacred Success Retreats. The Retreats are meant to be part of an ongoing tradition of women sharing their wisdom, with a new breed of role models who’ve achieved unprecedented success on their own terms, in a very different way than men have been doing it for centuries.

Won’t you join me? Click here for more information or to register.

 

 

5 Words Say it All…

I’m flipping through the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve no idea what the article was about. But the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused…”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to mega financial success.

Those 5 words mark the major distinction between an Underearner and a High Earner.

Those 5 words capture the very essence of what it takes to achieve Greatness.

And for anyone who’s struggling to make ends meet, or live their dream, I say heed those 5 words.

I’m convinced these 5 words offer the key to not just surviving, but thriving, in this new economic paradigm.

This may sound weird, but I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I understand why so many with far more skills than I often feel stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted or multi-gifted. But if you want my advice–prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, financial success will go to the focused.

Do you agree? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Please leave me a comment below!

The Talk!

I think it’s time we have The Talk. Don’t you? You know, the one about the Legacy you wish to leave. It’s a subject that deserves serious thought.

Leaving a Legacy is how you achieve Greatness. It goes right to the core of why you’re here and the mark you wish to make on the world you leave behind.

Some of you know exactly what it is. Mine, of course, is that there are a lot more financially empowered women running this country as a result of my work. And a lot fewer abused women who can’t afford to leave their abuser.

But many of you may be scratching your heads, wondering, ‘huh, what’s mine?’

Your legacy doesn’t need to light up the sky. It could be the tiniest footprint in the sand. All that matters: your legacy reflects your purpose fulfilled.

Need help? Try this exercise.

Imagine that it’s far in the future. You are lying on your deathbed. You’ve lead a long and meaningful life, but it’s now drawing to a close. As you lie there, you begin to review your past. What gave you the most satisfaction, outside of your family, to know this is what you’ll be remembered for? It need not be limited to one thing, either.

Once you pinpoint what it is, come back to this moment. Then ask yourself: What can I do right now that will contribute to the legacy I wish to leave?

Please share below by leaving a comment…I can’t wait to hear your insights.

Wanna Find True Power?

I’ve been blogging about Sacred Success for almost a year. My purpose: to show you how to create Affluence—in a way that is meaningful to you and beneficial to others—by doing what you were put on this planet to do.

In review, Sacred Success unfolds in 4 Stages:

  1. Stage #1: responding to the Call to Greatness
  2. Stage #2: receiving consciously, surrendering to what is
  3. Stage #3: pursuing your highest purpose by exercising discipline.

We’re now at the 4th and final stage: leaving a legacy by modeling Greatness.

The truth is, we are always modeling something: either Greatness or Mediocrity (often disguised as Grandiosity).

Most people, as you can guess, are modeling Mediocrity. Why? Because it’s easy. All you have to do is stay in your comfort zone.   But to  model Greatness, you must  recognize your value, live your Purpose , leap into the unknown, let your light shine, and  leave your mark on the world.

This 4th stage is where Real Power lies. I believe when enough Enlightened Women, (along with enlightened Men) come together to model Greatness, our collective legacies will change the world, heal this planet. It all starts with each one of us.

Have you thought about the legacy you wish to leave?

Need help? I’ll share some tips in my next blog.

Until then leave a comment below about which stage in Sacred Success you are navigating right now.

My Last Ditty on Discipline (at least for now)

I wonder if we women aren’t lacking a gene that makes this form of discipline especially difficult.  The final technique,  Strategic thinking, means keeping one eye on your higher purpose without taking the other off the bottom line.

Men seem much savvier at strategic thinking. Women, in their eagerness to give back to  their community or give birth to their dreams, often neglect this critical step.

To  think strategically, you must constantly link your Big Vision to the costs of doing business, connect your mission statement to the profit/loss statement.

One  woman explained it this way: “Connect everything with the numbers. To be a successful business woman, you have to strategize all the time on how to make the numbers work.”

And another,  a business owner  “The secret to a million dollars is continuously reevaluating the expenses to run a lean, mean business.”

And still another: “Once you know where the profit is, it’s just a matter of multiplying how many widgets you need to sell.”

Basically, strategic thinking involves:

  • figuring out the costs to do business
  • cutting losses when something wasn’t working
  • designing effective structures and systems
  • daily strategizing and yearly long term planning

Strategic thinking did not come easily to many of these women.

“This is not my nature,” said a former journalist, “I’m a writer. It was something I had to learn. No matter how passionate you are, you have to have business savvy.”

You can learn to think strategically by reading books, taking classes, talking to others, and/or consulting with professionals in or outside your industry.

I find strategic thinking is best done with others. My advice for tackling this technique– form a Strategic Task Force. Invite people (anywhere from 1 to 10) you trust, respect, and admire. Meet with them regularly to help you stay on track  strategically or  contact them when you need strategic solutions to problematic situations.

Please comment on your experience with strategic thinking.  This is definitely something I want to learn more about!

It’s Time to Get Tough!

Listen up, ladies. We need to talk.  We’re still on the ‘D’ word. But now we’re getting to the nitty gritty.  This form of Discipline is what separates the women from the girls. This is where the rubber meets the road.  This is, in short, the BIG SECRET to SACRED SUCCESS.

And I got it straight from the mouths of women who make millions.  If you wanna play  a bigger game, you gotta  toughen up! That means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By  nature, we women want everyone to be happy with us. Successful women are no different. Almost all I interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

“You have to do the hard stuff,” said one mega high earner. That ‘hard stuff’ included firing employees, ending partnerships, holding tight during demanding negotiations, enforcing an unpopular policy, firing high paying clients, even enduring multiple rejections and disappointments.

In fact, virtually all the women I interviewed told me that their biggest regret was not making tough decisions sooner.

‘Toughening up’ didn’t mean these women had to harden their hearts, numb their senses, or go all macho.  It did mean a dramatic shift in their mindset.

The shift sounds like this:   ‘I’d rather be respected than liked.’

As one woman told me: “I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions. But I learned,  you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

The recognition that earning respect is more important than gaining approval was what one woman described as a “watershed moment.” It definitely was life-changing for me…and liberating.

This one shift in thinking– ‘I’d rather be respected than liked’ –means developing a “rhinoceroses hide” while keeping an open heart. This is precisely how we’ll become strong, effective leaders without compromising our feminine nature. This is what will allow us to be powerful without being punitive, forthright without being unfeeling, responsible without being ruthless.

Where do you need to toughen up?  If you’re like me, I bet it’s not just at work, but on the home front too.  Leave a comment below about what “toughening up” looks like in your life.

The “D” word

Finding your purpose is one thing. Pursuing it is another.  And that’s where the “D” word comes in. You know, Discipline.

Oy…I can almost feel you recoil at the very mention. “Not the ‘D’ word…anything but that!”

Hear me out.  Discipline has gotten a bum rap.  Discipline is not a means of punishment. It’s actually the source of pleasure, the essence of power and  the path to Greatness.

Think of it this way. Discipline comes from the latin word ‘disciple,’ and means ‘being a disciple unto oneself.’  Discipline asks you to become your own biggest fan, viewing yourself in the very best light, being kind to yourselves when things don’t go well, doing what needs to be done, as best as you can.

Discipline is Step #3 of Sacred Success™. And it’s especially important to women.

In  my interviews with high earners, I noticed that success tends to be a very emotional process.  Unlike men, we haven’t  been groomed for greatness.

Practically every woman I interviewed made the same observation. In the world of work,  men assume they’re competent,  feel entitled, and tend to risk big.   Women assume they’re inadequate, feel apprehensive and tend to hold back.

So many aspiring women, especially in the beginning, described  feeling:

  • guilt (Do I really have a right to this?)
  • doubt (Can I handle it? Am I on the right path?)
  • fear (Am I doing it right? Will I fail?)

For many, these questions are like quicksand, keeping us stuck, sucking  us under.

What I wanted to know was what enabled the most successful ones to keep going higher? The answer became obvious—the “D” word .

I’m going to talk more about discipline in blogs to come. I’ll tell you about 4 techniques that are anything but traditional. But now I’d love to hear from you. What’s your reaction to the “D” word?

The Power of Purpose

“I am not afraid. I was born to do this.”

–Joan of Arc

I wonder… had  Joan of Arc lived today, would she be raking in millions, rather than racing into battles?  She sounds like every mega-high-earner I interviewed (albeit more pithy and eloquent).

They all  possessed an almost divine sense of mission, a fire in their belly, a transpersonal commitment to something larger than themselves.

A powerful purpose seemed to be the prelude to making millions…and the basis for Step #2 of Sacred Success™: Pursue Your Highest Purpose based on Your Deepest Truths.

Much as Joan of Arc discovered centuries ago, a strong sense of purpose creates an almost unwavering perseverance, in a way that money alone never would.

Whenever these high earners were scared, stymied, or faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles, they immediately went back to their higher purpose.

As a multi-million dollar earner said to me, “When in doubt, I revisit my mission. Why am I here?”

But there’s also another reason why step 2 is so important. Having a higher purpose fosters a life of balance.  There’s a significant difference between drive and addiction. Drive comes from a vision that nourishes one’s soul and enriches one’s life. Addiction arises from fear-based beliefs such as scarcity, inadequacy, and shame, and it inevitably leads to burn out .

Most high earners eventually figured this out. As one young woman told me, “I had a massive inner critic and I pushed myself until I broke down.” Then she said, “I did lots of self improvement work and figured out how to achieve my dream without killing myself.”

In those words, she gives us the key to finding your highest purpose. It takes personal work, a great deal of self reflection.  I’ll talk more about this in my next blog.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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