Rewiring
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Don’t Even Try to Have It All Figured Out!

Guess what the biggest roadblock is to your success? Those devilish how-tos. You know, thinking you have to have it all figured before you begin. Because that’s exactly what slows you down, or keeps you stuck

Those who have the most trouble thinking bigger are the ones who have to know exactly how they’re going do it. And if they can’t figure it out, they lower their sights.

I was in this category most of my life…until I interviewed six-figure women. 

I learned from them a three-step plan. 

  • Set a goal.
  •  Commit to reach it (without knowing exactly how).
  •  And grab hold of any unexpected opportunities that fall in your lap.

The second step is where the power is. Commitment, like a magnet, attracts coincidences. I always say, once you commit to a goal, if you’re not experiencing coincidences, go back to the drawing board. You’re obviously not totally committed.

That’s the way it happened for me. In 2008, I decided to earn $125,000. When I told my now ex-husband, he burst out laughing. I did too. It sounded ridiculous coming from a chronic underearner.

I had no idea how I was going to do it. But as I learned from the women I was interviewing, I didn’t need to have a full blown plan in place.

I just needed to take advantage of synchronicities. Of course, coincidences always lay just outside our comfort zone.

Here is the real secret to success: let go of control and do what comes next, especially if you’re scared to death to do it.

What are you scared to death to do? Leave me a comment below!

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Your Brain on Savings

There’s actually a positive side to being stuck at home. Personal savings have skyrocketed. But my guess is that when the pandemic passes, savings will plummet.

The fault may lie in our brains.

A recent study by Cornell University neuroscientists discovered that our brains are biased toward earning and against saving. Perhaps it’s the immediate gratification our paychecks offer while putting aside small amounts feels about as gratifying as watching grass grow.

“Fundamentally it comes down to this: saving is less valuable to our brains, which devote less attentional resources to it,” said the co-author Adam Anderson. “Our brains find saving more difficult to attend to.”

Yet fixating on earnings can be fool hardy. I call it the Illusion of Affluence. I see it all the time. Successful women spending too much, saving too little, plowing all profits back into their businesses or on classes for personal growth (deceptively calling it “an investment”).

Their ample earnings gives them the illusion, but not the security of true abundance. The real measure of wealth is your net worth…not what you earn but what you keep.

I’m Mad As Hell And I’m Not Going to Take It Any Longer!

Anger. It’s everywhere. I’m watching the fury toward oppression coming to a full boil, spilling out into the streets. 

And I say hallelujah! 

To be clear, I’m not referring to the looters or arsonists, whose anger has nothing to do with seeking justice but serves only to attack and plunder.   

I’m proudly pointing to the protesters, peaceably but unabashedly voicing their anger, demanding personal dignity and systemic change. 

This is a particularly important message for us women. Historically we’ve been groomed to repress our rage. We don’t like anger. It doesn’t feel good. It’s not ‘nice’. It’s scary.  

But in truth, anger is a natural human emotion. Healthy when expressed in a timely manner…a catalyst for positive change.  Toxic when bottled up…a source of chaos and destruction.

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Feeling Like an Imposter? Time to Rewire

I just read that award-winning Maya Angelou, after publishing her 11th book, thought to herself: “Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody.”

Can you imagine Maya Angelo feeling like fraud!! But looking back, I think of all the  courageous, confident, highly successful women I’ve interviewed who told me they still felt like a fraud long after their careers were flourishing.

Sadly, the imposter syndrome is epidemic among women, even the most successful ones. In Neuroscience, I found a possible explanation as to why. Despite their achievements, these women never rewired their old belief systems.

They didn’t prepare themselves mentally as they pushed themselves physically. Because they hadn’t changed their thoughts, their brains remained wired to see only the past.

Their low self-image hadn’t caught up with their incredible successes. Their old neuropathways still dictated their current perceptions.

The moral of this story:  before you focus on changing your behavior, you must transform the causes of that behavior—your thoughts and beliefs. 

What thoughts and behaviors could you begin to rewire for success? Leave me a comment below.


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Reinventing Normal

I’m hearing the same thought from numerous sources. Once the pandemic has passed, don’t expect a return to normal. Life as we’ve known it will never be the same.

That can feel scary. Indeed, uncertainty is frightening. But what if the current crises is not to be feared? What if we welcomed it as a much-needed wake-up call?

I’m reminded of a 2019 Ted Talk by Ashweetha Shetty. Though her subject was education, her words feel eerily prophetic.

 “All of us are born into a reality we blindly accept,” she said, “until something awakens us and a new world opens up.”

I’m wondering if that’s what’s happening now. “Something” (Spirit. perhaps) is trying to awaken us to other possibilities—possibilities other than the reality we’ve “blindly accepted.”

What if we all used this time in isolation to imagine the new normal we’d love to create? What if we reimagine a future unlike the past?

Think about the life you crave, not the one you live. Consider the legacy you wish to leave. Allow your imagination to run wild, to dream audaciously. Make it fun, as if you’re a child playing make-believe.

Notice if your thoughts tell you it’s not practical or even plausible. Know that’s your brain defaulting to old neuropathways.  Resist the urge to acquiesce.

Instead, trust this is your intended future yearning to emerge. Allow the ideas to sink into your psyche. Adopt them as your new story.

Repeat this story often (especially when tempted to tell your old one). Focus on it in meditation. Visualize it as you fall asleep.

Rest assured. This new story is not some grandiose tale told by your insecure Ego, but guidance from your loving Soul, urging you to step into your Greatness, shining your light in a world steeped in darkness.

Tell me about your new normal—the one you’d love to start living.  Share in the comments below as if it’s already a reality.

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Let Go! A New Future’s Emerging.

In one of my books, I tell a story about a mountain climber who falls off a cliff,  grabs hold of the ledge, and dangling in midair, desperately cries out, “Lord help me!”

The Lord answers: “I will help you. But first you have to let go of the ledge.”

I believe this is what we’re all being called—or in some cases, forced—to do:  let go of the ledges that once kept us safe.  And that’s scary as hell.

But I’m beginning to think this may be the whole point. Widespread global fear is triggering our own personal fears, especially ones we’ve long kept buried. 

Our tendency is to avoid uncomfortable feelings, stuff them down. But these bottled up emotions must come up to be healed. Or they will forever hold us back, tethered to the past. 

A new future is emerging. And we are being asked to take time to reflect and release dysfunctional emotions that are weighing us down. 

My daughter, Melissa Siig’s experience mirrors what many of us are feeling. She found herself becoming increasingly irritable and unhappy, struggling to adjust to all the sudden changes. Then one day, she realized, “I had to shed my old skin to make way for the new.”   Here’s what she shared on Facebook:

 “Last week, I took a shower, went into my closet to get dressed, laid down on my closet floor and stayed there for two hours, curled up in the fetal position in the dark.

“I cried and mourned and let my grief pour out of me for what my family and I and the world had lost. I needed to release my life as it had been for 47 years to make way for acceptance of something new.

“I had to let go. I needed to be reborn. Like the butterfly breaking through its cocoon, I slowly emerged from my dark womb and made my way to my bed. I laid in bed another hour or two. My family worried about me, I worried about me.

“But eventually, having purged my old self, I reemerged, transformed. I wiped the tears from my eyes, went upstairs, poured myself a glass of wine, and played Clue with my family.”

What ledge do you need to let go of, what do you need to shed, to make way for the new? Leave me a comment below.

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A Spiritual Solution for Scary Times*

*Adapted from my upcoming book: Rewire for Wealth

I’m turning to A Course in Miracles (ACIM) a lot more these days. 

As many of you know, ACIM is a spiritual text that calls itself “a course in mind training,” and declares its sole purpose is “to restore awareness of the power of the mind.” 

I may not be able to control the frightening unfolding of current events. But can use the power of my mind to control how I react to them.  

“The only way to make prudent decisions in a plunging market”, my favorite WSJ  columnist, Jason Zweig, recently advised, “is by creating a circle of calm around yourself.”Amen to that! 

How do you train your mind to “create a circle of calm?” You must understand what ACIM calls “the most important concept that exists in the universe:” The Law of Cause and Effect. 

ACIM (as well as neuroscience, quantum physics and many spiritual teachings like Buddhism) explains this law very differently from the more generally accepted Newtonian version. 

To the world, a cause is an external incident which produces an internal effect. The market crashes (cause) and you panic (effect). But this view is very disempowering. Blaming something or someone else for ‘making’ you unhappy or fearful turns you into a victim.

According to ACIM, nothing ‘out there’ has anything to do with you feeling happy or upset.  Your thoughts are always the cause. If you want to change the effect (your experience)—greater abundance, more happiness, increased peace of mind—you must first change the cause (your thoughts). 

Mind training is about far more than positive thinking. It requires you to shift the source of your feelings from the world out there and point your finger where it belongs—your own mind. 

Or as ACIM puts it: “Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.” 

When you understand how to control your thoughts, you’ll discover how much power you have to create the life you desire. 

What thoughts do you need to change for greater peace of mind? Leave me a comment below.

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Pruning vs Pushing

A little over 10 years ago, in a rush of adrenalin brought on by a surge of ambition, I suddenly shifted into high gear. I hired a team, restructured my website, created a new marketing campaign, purchased complicated new software, and created all sorts of new products. I was driven.

Until my enthusiasm dwindled and I couldn’t understand why. The answer came loud and clear when I helped my daughter, an organic farmer, prune the fruit trees.

“If you don’t prune back most of the new buds,” Anna explained, “too much of the tree’s energy goes into producing foliage instead of growing fruit. You don’t want the trees to spread themselves too thin, reducing the amount of fruit they bear.”

The metaphor was inescapable. I was that fruit tree, spreading myself too thin, letting too many budding projects sap my creativity, my energy, my focus.

Busyness, or the act of spreading oneself too thin, is an occupational hazard for high achievers. It’s basically the absence of discipline. Discipline means doing with discernment, thoughtfully pruning rather than tirelessly pushing.

I wonder if we instinctively recoil from discipline, like a kid ordered to eat veggies. It may be good for us, but damn it, we’re not going to like it and we’ll try anything to get out of it.

Instead we slip straight into our drug of choice. I call it ABTS—“Addicted to Busyness Syndrome.”  We stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential and what’s truly irrelevant.

But ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down.

Over time, I learned to value Disciplined Action—making prudent, sometimes unpleasant choices, doing what I need to do to, even if it’s not what I want to do. It’s the only thing I’ve found that allows me to successfully do what I love without sacrificing my sanity, or my Soul.

Where are you pushing in your life when you should be pruning? Leave me a comment below.

 

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Financial Challenges are Your Friend

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Anyone can create wealth. Yes, even you, regardless of your current situation. I’ll tell you how.

First, pinpoint your biggest Financial Challenge. It could be anything from a gnawing sense you’re unhappy at work to the gut-wrenching pain of staggering debt.

Next, realize that this Financial Challenge is about far more than money. It‘s a profound opportunity for personal transformation; the call of your Soul trying to get your attention;  the starting point for creating wealth and claiming your power.

Finally, by committing to resolve your Financial Challenge, you’ll open the door between the life you now live and the amazing life that’s patiently waiting for you to take action.

There is no magic bullet for resolving a Financial Challenge. Nor would you want one. It is the process that’s empowering, a three-pronged process:

1) The Outer Work of Wealth—adhering to the Rules of Wealth: Spend less; Save More; Invest Wisely.

2) The Inner Work of Wealth—exploring your attitudes, beliefs and early decisions you made about yourself and money.

3) The Higher Work of Wealth—understanding the laws of the Universe so you can manifest your destiny and make a difference in the world.

As you begin taking small steps to resolve your Financial Challenge, one of two things will happen. Either you’ll resist, give up and fall back into the familiar. Or your life will dramatically change, not only with money, but in other areas as well.

What’s your biggest financial challenge? Are you ready to resolve it? Leave me a comment below.


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Ready to Rewire for Wealth?

Is this the year you become a wealthy woman? Or an even wealthier one?  It’s really quite simple.

 Every time money comes in, put a portion into savings on a regular basis. How much? Ten percent is ideal, but less is absolutely fine. Sadly, few people do this.

For many, setting aside savings is akin to self-imposed poverty, as expressed in a recent email I received. “How can I SAVE money to create wealth (which means cutting back spending) and still have a feeling of ABUNDANCE (which means the desire to SPEND) and not a mentality of LACK?” 

 In her mind, spending provided the pleasurable pretense of prosperity while savings felt like self-denial. But a brain wired for wealth views it quite differently.

Saving means you’re giving the money to YOU (not Visa or Starbucks) so that ultimately you can purchase whatever you please without pressure or worry.  The difference between the two mindsets is not deprivation but delayed gratification.

The ability to delay gratification is a sign of maturity and the quickest way to accumulate more than enough, which is the true definition of wealth.

The best part. Saving is so easy when you set up automatic deposits. You don’t miss what you don’t see.

And, with little effort, you set the rewire process in motion.  As you watch your savings grow, the reward centers of your brain light up and your inclination to save more increases by the day.

How do you feel about savings—self-denial or the way to wealth? Share below.


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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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