I’m Mad As Hell And I’m Not Going to Take It Any Longer!

Anger. It’s everywhere. I’m watching the fury toward oppression coming to a full boil, spilling out into the streets. 

And I say hallelujah! 

To be clear, I’m not referring to the looters or arsonists, whose anger has nothing to do with seeking justice but serves only to attack and plunder.   

I’m proudly pointing to the protesters, peaceably but unabashedly voicing their anger, demanding personal dignity and systemic change. 

This is a particularly important message for us women. Historically we’ve been groomed to repress our rage. We don’t like anger. It doesn’t feel good. It’s not ‘nice’. It’s scary.  

But in truth, anger is a natural human emotion. Healthy when expressed in a timely manner…a catalyst for positive change.  Toxic when bottled up…a source of chaos and destruction.

I believe buried anger (and unhealed trauma) is our biggest barrier to financial (and personal) freedom. Perhaps these widespread riots are calling each of us to find healthy ways to discharge our pent-up ire so we can calmly claim our power.

If you suspect you may have suppressed anger, I invite you to write an Angry Letter (which no one else will see). Begin the letter with “Dear (parent, ex, yourself), I am so pissed at you…,” using whatever words feel right. Pour yourself into it, liberating your fury, your frustrations. Write until you’re done.

Next, fold up the letter and put it away for no more than three days. Then take it out and reread it. Is there anything you want to add? If so, keep writing. Continue the process until you feel complete.

When you’re finally finished, burn the letter, ritualistically. As it burns, say to your anger: Thank you. You served me once. I no longer need you. I release you. You are free.  I am free.

Notice the lightness you feel once your anger’s lifted. Notice how much more room there is for love.

How do you deal with anger—bottle it up or let it out? Leave me a comment below.


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Comments & Feedback

  • Susan Kuhn

    I am a bit concerned about taking an issue about social justice and racial oppression and turning it into an internal psychological issue for women.

    Women and everyone need to get better at knowing women of different racial backgrounds than themselves. And seeing how their own perceptions and reactions may be different when (as white women) they realize how much being white has helped them, and how much women who are black and of color have as were a wet blanket of being given less by society.

    Our social justice work is coming to grips with inequality. It is not doing a deep dive into our own emotions — which only postpones our maturity and our society’s capability around issues of injustice.

    • Mary Kay Keller

      All healthy human development requires going deeper into our emotions in all cultures. It empowers people. We(most Humans)experience this repression in our childhood.

      Emotional Intelligence is critical to a healthy productive life. I suggest the book, Permission to Feel.

      • barbara huson

        Thank you so much Mary Kay…you understand what I was trying to say. And I will definitely read that book. I so appreciate you writing…and all your support on social media!!!

    • Lisa

      Hello Susan,

      I think we need to spend more time getting to know other people outside our own ethnicity, too. From experience, a racial attack becomes a lot more personal when your close to someone from that race.

      As for white privilege, one of the richest people I personally know is black. He hired my husband and sent us over to California to work. Would like to get his opinion on that.

    • barbara huson

      Susan, I totally agree with you. This IS about social injustice. But I also believe we live in a reflective world. Events that trigger me offer an opportunity to heal my own anger, grief, sadness, helplessness. ..so that I can be a healthier change agent in the world. Or what A Course in Miracles calls “a healed healer.” That’s the point I wanted to make in the blog, but I don’t think I did a very good job. Thank you for sharing your feelings…you make an excellent point!

    • Tanara Bowie

      Barbara,
      I’m an African-American woman and have been on your email list for a long while. I’ve appreciated your postings about wealth and what gets in the way of wealth development for women. I agree that what is happening now is an opportunity to look at our shadow and where what is happening “out there” can also be found in us. If that is the case, then the “rioters and looters” are also a part of us. I don’t agree with it but I understand that anger. I understand that other forms of protest did not have the same impact. It was easy for many White Americans to turn a blind eye to the sufferings of African-Americans, to explain away the mistreatment. The damage has meant that people can no longer look away. Instead it has caused many to look inside at their privilege and ways they can help dismantle it.
      Finally, while I hope that taking protests as an opportunity to have women on your list look inward, I do hope that they will also look inside to see how they can contribute to a change not only within themselves but also beyond themselves to the larger world.
      Sincerely,
      Tanara

      • barbara huson

        Tanara, THANK YOU! I actually read your post several times. And you made me rethink what I wrote. Maybe the “looters and arsonists” aren’t just trouble makers…maybe they’re also fed up and angry at the indifference our country has shown to radically addressing and putting an end to racism for good! Maybe this is exactly what was needed to get the powers that be to start initiating sustainable change. And at the same time, all of us, regardless of color, can look inward, heal our own anger at oppression and then as you so beautifully wrote, “look beyond themselves to the larger world.” Amen to that!!!! Sending you big hugs of appreciation. I would love to someday meet you in person…you sound wonderful!!!

        • Tanara Bowie

          Thank you Barbara! I have followed you for a long while. Your books are on my coffee table. I am moved to tears by your response. I hope to meet you one day. When I attend a workshop (whenever that is possible), I will come up with a big smile and introduce myself.
          Thank you! Thank you!
          Love and hugs,
          Tanara

  • Lisa

    Barbara,

    I am an IFNJ, so I need to write something to process my feelings. I think it’s important to understand the underlying feelings behind or under the anger or trigger after you feel angry .

    • barbara huson

      I agree…there’s inevitably another layer of feelings under the anger…and it’s critical to dig down deep and excavate it all. Thanks for pointing that out Lisa.

      • Lisa

        Barbara,

        I once lost weight writing a venting letter ! It was the most effective diet I ever went on.

        • barbara huson

          I LOVE that, Lisa. Those who stuff emotions often use food to keep stuffing those emotions down. I know. I used to be one of them. Just like you. I’m sooooooo glad you wrote….this is an important point!!!

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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