Baffled…

Written by Barbara Huson

For over 20 years, I’ve been baffled.

Sure, we women have become excellent dollar watchers and bargain hunters. But investors? Forget about it. We want to learn, but lack the confidence to act.

And here’s what’s really baffling. Once women enter in the market, we’re actually better investors than men.

What’s up with this??? The answer, I’ve discovered, lies in our brain.

Women and men’s brains are different and process information differently.

Men see investment risk as a challenge. Women see investment risk as a threat.

Men measure success by beating an index or their peers. Women measure success by meeting their goals and helping others.

Men, in their competitiveness, trade stocks frequently. Women, with our lack confidence, tend to buy and hold. A much better strategy over time.

Here’s the irony. Our lack of confidence actually works in our favor.

The more I study neuroscience, the more I’m convinced. Rather than avoiding investing because it feels like a threat, let’s focus on rewiring our brains to become confident investors.

To All Money Avoiders…

Written by Barbara Huson

I see it all the time. Women do not get serious about money—making it or managing it—until a crisis hits.

Either their world falls apart, or feels like it’s about to. That’s when they finally take action.

I did it myself. I waited until a million dollar tax bill almost wiped me out. Not smart!! Not fun!! Not the best timing.

How about you? Are you avoiding your finances?

Instead of waiting for the pain to get worse than the fear or for your very foundation to be violently (or even mildly) shaken, try this experiment.

Focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you.

Forget all the things that can go wrong.

Think about the joy of finally feeling financially free, the deep satisfaction of contributing to causes you’re passionate about, helping those people you love.

That’s what I finally did. I started thinking about what kind of a role model I wanted to be for my daughters instead of obsessing about my terror of screwing up.

When I made that shift, I had no choice…I could no longer let fear stop me!

What, around your finances, are you avoiding? Share below.

The Real Secret to Financial Success…it’s not what you think!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

Question: What’s the biggest pitfall to making more money?

Answer: Thinking you have to have it all figured out first.

That’s exactly what slows us down, or keeps us stuck

After 40 years of working with women I’ve found that the ones who had the most trouble reaching their goals were the ones who kept trying to figure out exactly what they needed to do to get there.

If they couldn’t figure it out, they tended to lower their sights.

That’s not the way it works at all…at least not for the thousands of successful women I’ve interviewed. Instead, what these women did was:

1. Set a goal,
2. Commit to reach it (without knowing how),
3. Take advantage of unexpected opportunities (disguised as coincidences).
That’s the real secret to success.

It’s not about trying to figure out how, but being willing to let go of control and do what comes next.

Especially if it’s something you’re scared to do.

When have you set out on a path without knowing the exact next step? Leave a comment below.

Oh-So-Subtle Self-Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

“What you share you strengthen.”

~A Course In Miracles

In the spirit of the above quote, ask yourself this question: Could I be undermining my success by what I’m sharing with others?

Years ago, a coach gave me a powerful assignment. For 2 weeks, I was to simply observe my conversations, without changing a thing. Just notice what I talked about, the words I used, my typical reactions…you know, the stuff I was sharing with others.

What I saw was not pretty.

I had a habit of putting myself down…without even realizing it. I’d constantly dismiss my skills (“Oh, that’s no big thing”), deflect praise (“I thought I was awful”), and diminish my successes (“But I could’ve done so much better”).

What felt, to me, like humility, was in truth, a form of self sabotage. Every word of self depreciation put another dent in my self esteem. I was strengthening my self-doubt…while destroying my self-confidence. No wonder I was struggling.

Are you doing something similar? Minimizing your achievements or underestimating your value?

I invite you to find out. Spend a few weeks simply watching what you talk about. Then write a comment below on what you observed.

Down with Financialese

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you ever met with a financial advisor, and wished you had a translator? They may be really nice people, but once they start talking, they’re suddenly speaking a foreign tongue.

“C’mon, you guys,” I want to say. “Speak in plain English.” But, truth is, I don’t hold out much hope. The onus is on us.

I’m a big believer in working with professionals…be it for a root canal or a retirement plan. And sometimes the latter can be as painful as the former! But it doesn’t need to be.

Not if you’re willing to speak up, ask for clarification, and keep asking until you understand.

As I’ve learned over the years, just because you don’t understand ‘Financialese,’ doesn’t mean you’re stupid.

It’s simply a sign to ask more questions. And keep asking. The payoff is clarity. But, I’m here to tell you, the real reward is how powerful you’ll feel for standing up for yourself.

How do you stand up for yourself?

5 Words to Boost Financial Success

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m flipping through a newspaper, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve long forgotten the article but the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused.”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to Financial Success.

For anyone who’s struggling to live their dream or make ends meet, I say heed those 5 words.

I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I see people with far more skills feeling stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted.

If you’re one of those gifted Souls, here’s my suggestion—prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, success will go to the focused.

Have a Legendary Love Affair with Your Money

Written by Barbara Huson

I wonder. Perhaps the reason so many women ignore their finances is actually their fear of relationship.

Money and a (good) man are a lot alike. All money wants (like a good man) is to serve you and support you. All they require in return is your respect and appreciation.

In other words, just like a man, money needs your attention; it needs to feel understood, cared about, and valued.

Otherwise, neither the man nor the money will stick around for the long haul.

As in all relationships, there are good times and bad times. Bad times are not the time to turn your back, throw in the towel or ignore your money. At least not if you want you and your money to grow old together.

How do you improve your relationship with money?

By creating more intimacy. Get to know it better. Learn what it needs and how to best care for it.

Make sure it feels the love. (The “love of money” is NOT the root of all evil—deprivation and destitution is.)

The Absurdity of Arbitrary Deadlines & My New Decision

Written by Barbara Huson

“Want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans”--anonymous

Let’s talk about arbitrary deadlines. We’ve all made them.

A first-time writer I know gave herself a year to complete a novel. But health problems kept interfering. As the year came to an end, she sank into depression. “I feel like a failure,” she kept saying.

Don’t get me wrong. Deadlines are a useful tool to keep us on track.

The trouble comes when we don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, we cling to our commitment or brutally reproach ourselves for screwing up.

(Warning: Self-flagellation does not further the creative process.)

I once read something from Abraham Hicks I’ll never forget: “Life is supposed to be fun. If you are doing it for any other reason, then you are not connecting to your Source Energy.”

Instead of freaking out when arbitrary deadlines go unmet, ask yourself: Would I rather live with the tranquility of trusting a Higher Source or tolerate the stress of self-imposed pressure?

It may be time to step back rather than doggedly pursuing a rigid decision,

Want to be a Writer? Read On!

Written by Barbara Huson

I remember sitting down to write my first book. I was so excited…until I read what I wrote. It was awful. I mean truly terrible. I tore up the pages, feeling defeated.

This went on for months. I’d write. Read what I wrote. Rip it up in disgust and walk away in frustration.

Now, 20 years and 7 books later, let me share 5 tips that changed me from a person who wanted to write a book to an official author.

1. Don’t wait until you’re inspired. William Faulkner once said, “I only write when I am inspired. Fortunately I am inspired at 9 o’clock every morning.”
2. Kick perfectionism out the door. Write shit. Then clean it up. The idea is to get your ideas down on paper. The quicker you do, the sooner you’ll create a polished draft.
3. Hold tight to a grander vision. I approach every book as if I’m supposed to write it and there’s one person who really needs to hear what only I have to say.
4. Make it a priority. Writing had to take precedence over the myriad of other items on my to-do list. When the book became as important as time with my kids, the momentum shifted and the writing took precedence.
5. Put your ass in the chair, in front of the computer, every day and write! Even if it’s only 10 minutes. Even, no especially, if what you write is awful! Get up extra early if you have to. You’ll be amazed what a difference a few months will make.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Afraid of Success? Think Again.

Written by Barbara Huson

We met for drinks, when she sheepishly admitted, “I think I’m afraid of success. I can see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

“What are you scared of?” I asked

“I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

At that moment, I knew she was describing an often misunderstood struggle unique to women. She wasn’t afraid of success. She was afraid of power.

There’s a critical difference. Success is the outcome we desire to achieve (the good stuff). Power is what it takes to achieve it (the scary stuff).

By nature, we women are all about relationships. We want everyone to like us.

Success, however, requires rocking the boat, speaking our truth, setting strong boundaries. What scares us is the consequences of ruffling feathers, ‘making’ people mad or unhappy.

As I learned from successful women, the key to claiming our power lies is shifting in our thinking. And the shift sounds like this: In the world of work, I’d rather be respected than liked.

“I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions,” a successful woman once told me. “But I learned you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

As I conveyed these thoughts to my friend, she nodded her head and smiled knowingly. Then I raised my wine glass as she lifted hers.

“To your success,” I toasted.

“To our power,” she replied.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Blog

Baffled…

To All Money Avoiders…

The Real Secret to Financial Success…it’s not what you think!!!

Oh-So-Subtle Self-Sabotage

Down with Financialese

5 Words to Boost Financial Success

Have a Legendary Love Affair with Your Money

The Absurdity of Arbitrary Deadlines & My New Decision

Want to be a Writer? Read On!

Afraid of Success? Think Again.

Meet Barbara Huson

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