Success
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The Temptation to Tolerate…

Written by Barbara Huson

Here’s an interesting question. What are you tolerating in your professional and personal life?

My amazing business coach, Ali Brown, posed that question during her recent seminar, Iconic.

The theme of the seminar: How can you and your business become iconic? Or as Ali put it, how can you “let your genie out of the bottle” so you stand out in a very noisy, crowded, over-saturated playing field?

“You can’t go to your zone of genius, if you’re tolerating mediocrity,” Ali explained. “You can’t get to the real issues while tolerating the annoying stuff.”

It never occurred to me that the willingness to tolerate anything—from minor irritations to major grievances—could interfere with success.

When she suggested making a list of what we’re tolerating, I began with:

  1. Fear, keeping me from starting another book
  2. Too many appointments; too few patches of stillness
  3. Social media
  4. Launches
  5. An uncomfortable desk chair
  6. Clients that aren’t a fit

At first, my list seemed so trivial in comparison to the terrible things women have tolerated for decades.  But then, it occurred to me:

Whatever we are tolerating—no matter how slight or how sordid—is another form of victimization, of giving our power away.

So, in the spirit of empowerment, I traded the ease of inertia for the joy of jettisoning the intolerable.

The desk chair is gone, replaced by a comfy one. I’m taking a partial sabbatical, eliminating all launches. I’ve reduced my time on FB significantly. And new clients will fill out an application to make sure we’re a fit.

Already feeling liberated, I look forward to releasing even more. 

As Ali pointed out, “Magic happens when you stop tolerating.”

What are you unwilling to tolerate anymore???

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When Your Brain Screams “STOP!”

Written by Barbara Huson

Be forewarned. Anytime you try something new, your habitual brain immediately protests: ‘Watch out, this doesn’t feel right! Stop immediately!” 

  

Peter Senge, in his brilliant book, The Fifth Discipline, calls this reaction “creative tension.” 

  

This tension feels terrible, but it has a purpose. It forces us to act. We’ll do anything to reduce it.

 

One way is to lower our sights, give up the goal, and sink back into old patterns. This is the quick and easy fix many women take. 

 

A tougher but ultimately more rewarding solution is to stay the course, using tension as a driving force to keep moving forward. 

 

The closer you get to achieving your goal, warns Senge, the stronger the forces become pulling you away, the louder your brain protests, and the more urgently you want to revert to old patterns.

 

I’ve seen it repeatedly with the women I work with. They’d fall apart at the brink of success, get cold feet, recall the pain of old failures, worry they made the wrong decision. 

 

My advice is always the same. It’s okay to feel bad. Just don’t let it stop you.

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth, click here to receive a copy in your inbox every week.

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The Real Secret to Financial Success…it’s not what you think!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

Question: What’s the biggest pitfall to making more money?

Answer: Thinking you have to have it all figured out first.

That’s exactly what slows us down, or keeps us stuck

After 40 years of working with women I’ve found that the ones who had the most trouble reaching their goals were the ones who kept trying to figure out exactly what they needed to do to get there.

If they couldn’t figure it out, they tended to lower their sights.

That’s not the way it works at all…at least not for the thousands of successful women I’ve interviewed. Instead, what these women did was:

1. Set a goal,
2. Commit to reach it (without knowing how),
3. Take advantage of unexpected opportunities (disguised as coincidences).
That’s the real secret to success.

It’s not about trying to figure out how, but being willing to let go of control and do what comes next.

Especially if it’s something you’re scared to do.

When have you set out on a path without knowing the exact next step? Leave a comment below.

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5 Words to Boost Financial Success

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m flipping through a newspaper, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve long forgotten the article but the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused.”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to Financial Success.

For anyone who’s struggling to live their dream or make ends meet, I say heed those 5 words.

I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I see people with far more skills feeling stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted.

If you’re one of those gifted Souls, here’s my suggestion—prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, success will go to the focused.

The Absurdity of Arbitrary Deadlines & My New Decision

Written by Barbara Huson

“Want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans”--anonymous

Let’s talk about arbitrary deadlines. We’ve all made them.

A first-time writer I know gave herself a year to complete a novel. But health problems kept interfering. As the year came to an end, she sank into depression. “I feel like a failure,” she kept saying.

Don’t get me wrong. Deadlines are a useful tool to keep us on track.

The trouble comes when we don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, we cling to our commitment or brutally reproach ourselves for screwing up.

(Warning: Self-flagellation does not further the creative process.)

I once read something from Abraham Hicks I’ll never forget: “Life is supposed to be fun. If you are doing it for any other reason, then you are not connecting to your Source Energy.”

Instead of freaking out when arbitrary deadlines go unmet, ask yourself: Would I rather live with the tranquility of trusting a Higher Source or tolerate the stress of self-imposed pressure?

It may be time to step back rather than doggedly pursuing a rigid decision,

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Want to be a Writer? Read On!

Written by Barbara Huson

I remember sitting down to write my first book. I was so excited…until I read what I wrote. It was awful. I mean truly terrible. I tore up the pages, feeling defeated.

This went on for months. I’d write. Read what I wrote. Rip it up in disgust and walk away in frustration.

Now, 20 years and 7 books later, let me share 5 tips that changed me from a person who wanted to write a book to an official author.

1. Don’t wait until you’re inspired. William Faulkner once said, “I only write when I am inspired. Fortunately I am inspired at 9 o’clock every morning.”
2. Kick perfectionism out the door. Write shit. Then clean it up. The idea is to get your ideas down on paper. The quicker you do, the sooner you’ll create a polished draft.
3. Hold tight to a grander vision. I approach every book as if I’m supposed to write it and there’s one person who really needs to hear what only I have to say.
4. Make it a priority. Writing had to take precedence over the myriad of other items on my to-do list. When the book became as important as time with my kids, the momentum shifted and the writing took precedence.
5. Put your ass in the chair, in front of the computer, every day and write! Even if it’s only 10 minutes. Even, no especially, if what you write is awful! Get up extra early if you have to. You’ll be amazed what a difference a few months will make.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Afraid of Success? Think Again.

Written by Barbara Huson

We met for drinks, when she sheepishly admitted, “I think I’m afraid of success. I can see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

“What are you scared of?” I asked

“I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

At that moment, I knew she was describing an often misunderstood struggle unique to women. She wasn’t afraid of success. She was afraid of power.

There’s a critical difference. Success is the outcome we desire to achieve (the good stuff). Power is what it takes to achieve it (the scary stuff).

By nature, we women are all about relationships. We want everyone to like us.

Success, however, requires rocking the boat, speaking our truth, setting strong boundaries. What scares us is the consequences of ruffling feathers, ‘making’ people mad or unhappy.

As I learned from successful women, the key to claiming our power lies is shifting in our thinking. And the shift sounds like this: In the world of work, I’d rather be respected than liked.

“I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions,” a successful woman once told me. “But I learned you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

As I conveyed these thoughts to my friend, she nodded her head and smiled knowingly. Then I raised my wine glass as she lifted hers.

“To your success,” I toasted.

“To our power,” she replied.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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Fear Got You Stuck??

Written by Barbara Huson

“Do what you fear because that’s how you grow.” ~~Barbara Stanny

Whenever I feel stuck, I always ask myself the same question: “What am I most afraid to do?” I rarely like the answer. But I know it’s my ticket to success.

Because success always lies just outside our comfort zone. When you tackle what terrifies you, miracles occur, dreams come true, our confidence soars.

It’s the one act that separates High Earners from Underearners—a life of joy from one of quiet desperation.

As a result, you will notice two things happening…guaranteed.

  1. The closer you get to what you fear, it’s never as scary as you expect.
  2. There’s a direct correlation between the level of fear you feel and the amount of power awaiting you on the other side.

So, I ask you: What are you most afraid to do?

Now go do it.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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Letting Go is Hard to Do

Written by Barbara Huson

“If better is to come, good must stand aside.” ~~Carl Jung.

I’ll never forget when I first saw the above quote by Carl Jung. I was living in Kansas City, raising two little kids, running a thriving career counseling firm. Business was hopping, but I wasn’t happy.

A ridiculous idea kept tugging at me, and wouldn’t go away. I was longing to live near water and write…which made no sense at all.

I had never written anything. And there was no water in KC (at least none that I’d want to live near!). Why would I give up a flourishing business, uproot my kids, leave behind a network of friends and reliable babysitters?

Then I saw Jung’s quote. I grabbed onto those words and refused to let go.

The moment I decided to give up my business, someone offered to buy it.

Within 6 months I was living on the side of a hill outside San Francisco, overlooking water, and out of the blue, a national magazine hired me to write a monthly career column!!!

I was officially a writer.

Now, 7 books later, I have enormous respect for the power of Letting Go. I also realize: the scarier something is to release, the more magical the results.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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Got Luck?

Written by Barbara Huson

“Everything that happens is for your own best interest.”
A Course In Miracles

Luck is a fascinating and frequently misunderstood phenomenon.

For one thing, luck can only be recognized in hindsight. We actually don’t know, at the time, what anything really means.

What we initially perceive as “bad luck” may, in the long run, be the best thing that could ever happen.

Take my story.

When I got a tax bill for over $1 million dollars, I felt like the unluckiest person on the planet. No one could’ve ever convinced me otherwise.

My ex-husband, who got me in this mess, left the country. My father refused to lend me the money. I had nowhere to turn.

Fast forward 30 years. I now realize that my father’s refusal was a stroke of luck. If he’d bailed me out, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today.

I’m convinced you can amp up your luck by altering your point of view.

When I got the tax bill, my friend gave me an affirmation to say when I’d freak out: “This million is making me millions.”

And it actually did!

The key: instead of bemoaning a “raw deal,” start searching for the potential gift. Luck comes to those who suspend judgment and seek out lessons.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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