Don’t Let Your Brain Be The Boss!

Written by Barbara Huson

Quick. Pick one. Which would you rather have: (A) Higher earnings or (B) More in savings?

I’m guessing you went for (A). Most people do. We tend to be far more concerned with increasing our income rather than growing our net worth. But hey, it’s not our fault. That’s how our brain is wired.

A recent Cornell University study discovered that our brains are biased toward earning and against saving. Perhaps it’s the immediate gratification our paychecks offer while socking away savings feels about as gratifying as watching grass grow

“Fundamentally it comes down to this,” the study reported. “Saving is less valuable to our brains, which devote less attentional resources to it. Our brains find saving more difficult to attend to.”

If ever there was a strong case for rewiring our brains, this is it. Fixating on earnings can be fool hardy. I call it the Illusion of Affluence. I see it all the time with successful women. Their significant earnings give them the illusion, but not the security, of true abundance.

It’s a fact. Wealth doesn’t come from what you earn. Wealth comes from what you save. But wait…getting rich isn’t the only reason to be a saver.

Consider the title of a 2016 study: “How Your Bank Balance Buys Happiness: The Importance of “Cash on Hand” to Life Satisfaction.” This study, as reported in What the Elle (my favorite financial newsletter), found that higher savings is a better predictor of happiness and well-being than hefty incomes.

Add to that the result of the 2018 Ellevest Census: “The #1 confidence booster for women is saving and investing (63% of women ranked it over things like salary and education).

The message is clear. Don’t let your brain be the boss. Instead, train your mind to rewire your brain to focus on savings rather than obsessing about earnings. (If you haven’t read my free ebook, The Rewire Response, you can get on this page.)

Which would you choose: (A) A big fat paycheck or (B) lots of money set aside? Leave me a comment and tell me why.

The Real Reason You Self-Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

Think about it. Aren’t all acts of self-sabotage really misguided attempts at self-protection? Though very few see it that way.

Countless women come to me, chiding themselves unmercifully for sabotaging their success by making foolish decisions. Maybe you’ve done it too.

Spending more than you have. Avoiding what you know is important. Deferring decisions to another. Giving generously while depriving yourself.

Most of my adulthood was one giant act of financial self-sabotage. I avoided anything to do with money, giving my husband control, while I spent freely and gave generously.

Even after my divorce, I continued to ignore money. Until I got tax bills for over a million dollars…for back taxes my ex didn’t pay, illegal deals he got us in.

I was furious at my ex, who quickly left the country. Furious at my dad, who wouldn’t lend me the money. But most of all, furious at myself for being so irresponsible.

Beware of Always Wanting More

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve spent most of my life yearning for more…more money, more success, more sales, the list goes on.

I proudly considered my perpetual wanting a healthy sign of a robust ambition. Until I began studying neuroscience and realized how truly unhealthy this kind of thinking actually is.

Here’s why: We literally sculpt our brain by what we dwell on. The more we think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger that neuropathway becomes in our brain.

By constantly hungering for more, I was inadvertently telling my brain “I don’t have enough.”

The more I repeated that thought, the stronger the “not enough” neuropathway grew, until I’d unconsciously do things that kept reinforcing my experience of ‘not enough.’

Slowly it dawned on me. How can I expect more, if I was repeatedly focused on what I had not yet attained? Clearly, I needed to shift my focus to rewire my brain.

I decided to experiment. Every time I felt myself coveting anything, I stopped, took note and shifted into appreciation for what I currently had.

Your Brain on Savings

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s actually a positive side to being stuck at home. Personal savings have skyrocketed. But my guess is that when the pandemic passes, savings will plummet.

The fault may lie in our brains.

A recent study by Cornell University neuroscientists discovered that our brains are biased toward earning and against saving. Perhaps it’s the immediate gratification our paychecks offer while putting aside small amounts feels about as gratifying as watching grass grow.

“Fundamentally it comes down to this: saving is less valuable to our brains, which devote less attentional resources to it,” said the co-author Adam Anderson. “Our brains find saving more difficult to attend to.”

Yet fixating on earnings can be fool hardy. I call it the Illusion of Affluence. I see it all the time. Successful women spending too much, saving too little, plowing all profits back into their businesses or on classes for personal growth (deceptively calling it “an investment”).

Their ample earnings gives them the illusion, but not the security of true abundance. The real measure of wealth is your net worth…not what you earn but what you keep.

My Journey Through Fear

Written by Barbara Huson

I had a rough few days.

As I watch the world implode, the virus surge, the markets plunge — my doctor tells me I need cataract surgery. Anything with the eyes terrifies me.

My head fills with worse case scenarios. I fall into a very dark place, unable to find my way out.

Then I remember what A Course in Miracles calls “the most important concept that exists in the universe—”the Law of Cause and Effect.”

The Course explains this law very differently from the world’s more generally accepted Newtonian explanation.

Here’s What Really Needs to Change

Written by Barbara Huson

Am I the only one feeling this way?

Yes, the protests—peaceful or not—have led to incredible changes. Companies are hiring more blacks. Communities are implementing radical police reforms. The shares in black-owned businesses are soaring.

But to create true and lasting equality, we must look beyond the external. To change the collective, we need to transform the individual.

I say this from experience.

I came of age during Women’s Lib. Enraged by rampant discrimination, we took to the streets, burning our bras, demanding gender equality. And lo and behold, the workplace opened its doors, albeit a crack. The banks gave us credit cards without requiring a man’s signature.

Feeling Like an Imposter? Time to Rewire

Written by Barbara Huson

I just read that award-winning Maya Angelou, after publishing her 11th book, thought to herself: “Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody.”

Can you imagine Maya Angelo feeling like fraud!! But looking back, I think of all the courageous, confident, highly successful women I’ve interviewed who told me they still felt like a fraud long after their careers were flourishing.

Sadly, the imposter syndrome is epidemic among women, even the most successful ones. In Neuroscience, I found a possible explanation as to why. Despite their achievements, these women never rewired their old belief systems.

They didn’t prepare themselves mentally as they pushed themselves physically. Because they hadn’t changed their thoughts, their brains remained wired to see only the past.

Their low self-image hadn’t caught up with their incredible successes. Their old neuropathways still dictated their current perceptions.

The moral of this story: before you focus on changing your behavior, you must transform the causes of that behavior—your thoughts and beliefs.

What thoughts and behaviors could you begin to rewire for success? Leave me a comment below.

Get the support you need. Join my virtual community, The Wealth Connection where women support women! Learn More!

Reinventing Normal

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m hearing the same thought from numerous sources. Once the pandemic has passed, don’t expect a return to normal. Life as we’ve known it will never be the same.

That can feel scary. Indeed, uncertainty is frightening. But what if the current crises is not to be feared? What if we welcomed it as a much-needed wake-up call?

I’m reminded of a 2019 Ted Talk by Ashweetha Shetty. Though her subject was education, her words feel eerily prophetic.

“All of us are born into a reality we blindly accept,” she said, “until something awakens us and a new world opens up.”

I’m wondering if that’s what’s happening now. “Something” (Spirit. perhaps) is trying to awaken us to other possibilities—possibilities other than the reality we’ve “blindly accepted.”

What if we all used this time in isolation to imagine the new normal we’d love to create? What if we reimagine a future unlike the past?

Think about the life you crave, not the one you live. Consider the legacy you wish to leave. Allow your imagination to run wild, to dream audaciously. Make it fun, as if you’re a child playing make-believe.

Notice if your thoughts tell you it’s not practical or even plausible. Know that’s your brain defaulting to old neuropathways. Resist the urge to acquiesce.

Instead, trust this is your intended future yearning to emerge. Allow the ideas to sink into your psyche. Adopt them as your new story.

Repeat this story often (especially when tempted to tell your old one). Focus on it in meditation. Visualize it as you fall asleep.

Rest assured. This new story is not some grandiose tale told by your insecure Ego, but guidance from your loving Soul, urging you to step into your Greatness, shining your light in a world steeped in darkness.

Tell me about your new normal—the one you’d love to start living. Share in the comments below as if it’s already a reality.

Questions for A Quarantine

Written by Barbara Huson

Ten years ago, a coach bluntly told me: “You’re too into doing, Barbara. You need time for just being.” I was depleted, burned out and knew she was right.

I cleared my calendar, eliminated all but the essentials and created space for self-reflection. My mantra was “I surrender and receive.”

I believe this is exactly what Covid-19 is calling us to do—Surrender and Receive. Surrender need not be passive but can be highly productive.

Believe me, I had no idea at the time that a whole new body of work was living inside me. By slowing down and tuning in, I “downloaded” what would become my next book, Sacred Success.

The “downloads” came as I asked myself a series of questions. I’m happy to share them with you. The first question most people ask themselves, when facing uncertainty, is ‘what should I do?’ Actually, that’s the last question to pose.

The first question to ask is: What do I need to let go of? Letting go, especially of what causes unhappiness or ceases to serve you, creates space for better to come. How do you know what needs to go? It’s probably that which you’re most afraid to release.

The next question to ask is: What do I want? This helped me get in touch with my deepest desires rather than the ‘shoulds’ and ‘ought’s” that I often gave into. I took a deep dive into my Soul’s wisdom by asking myself these 4 questions:

If I knew I had only 6 months to live, where would I be? Who would I be with? What would I be doing?
If I died today, what would be left unlived?
If nothing changes, not one thing, what would my life look like in 5 years?
If I was on my death bed, how would I most want to be remembered?

The final question to ask is: “What should I do next?” Follow the advice of artist Vincent Van Gogh: “If you hear a voice within you say, ‘you cannot paint’, by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.”

How are you using your time in quarantine?. Leave me a comment below.

Let Go! A New Future’s Emerging.

Written by Barbara Huson

In one of my books, I tell a story about a mountain climber who falls off a cliff, grabs hold of the ledge, and dangling in midair, desperately cries out, “Lord help me!”

The Lord answers: “I will help you. But first you have to let go of the ledge.”

I believe this is what we’re all being called—or in some cases, forced—to do: let go of the ledges that once kept us safe. And that’s scary as hell.

But I’m beginning to think this may be the whole point. Widespread global fear is triggering our own personal fears, especially ones we’ve long kept buried.

Our tendency is to avoid uncomfortable feelings, stuff them down. But these bottled up emotions must come up to be healed. Or they will forever hold us back, tethered to the past.

A new future is emerging. And we are being asked to take time to reflect and release dysfunctional emotions that are weighing us down.

My daughter, Melissa Siig’s experience mirrors what many of us are feeling. She found herself becoming increasingly irritable and unhappy, struggling to adjust to all the sudden changes. Then one day, she realized, “I had to shed my old skin to make way for the new.” Here’s what she shared on Facebook:

“Last week, I took a shower, went into my closet to get dressed, laid down on my closet floor and stayed there for two hours, curled up in the fetal position in the dark.

“I cried and mourned and let my grief pour out of me for what my family and I and the world had lost. I needed to release my life as it had been for 47 years to make way for acceptance of something new.

“I had to let go. I needed to be reborn. Like the butterfly breaking through its cocoon, I slowly emerged from my dark womb and made my way to my bed. I laid in bed another hour or two. My family worried about me, I worried about me.

“But eventually, having purged my old self, I reemerged, transformed. I wiped the tears from my eyes, went upstairs, poured myself a glass of wine, and played Clue with my family.”

What ledge do you need to let go of, what do you need to shed, to make way for the new? Leave me a comment below.

Mind Training

Don’t Let Your Brain Be The Boss!

The Real Reason You Self-Sabotage

Beware of Always Wanting More

Your Brain on Savings

My Journey Through Fear

Here’s What Really Needs to Change

Feeling Like an Imposter? Time to Rewire

Reinventing Normal

Questions for A Quarantine

Let Go! A New Future’s Emerging.

Meet Barbara Huson

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