Money is a lot like a good man. Its greatest desire is to serve and support you. In return, all it requires is to be respected and appreciated.
You respect money the same way you would anything else you value, be it a work of art, a treasured friend, or cash in hand.
If you want it to last, you’ve got to take care of it. Throw it around carelessly or ignore it completely and guess what’s going to happen?
How do you respect and appreciate money? Follow the Four Rules of Money:
Language is powerful. There is a direct correlation between the words that you use and the life that you have.
Words tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies, so watch what you say.
There’s a form of support you may not recognize: the Naysayer.
These pessimists have a purpose. Every time you decide to do something new, the beloved Patron Saint of Risk sends down her Angels of Gloom to shower you with disapproval.
The loftier your goal, the worse their negativity. The more tentative you feel, the gloomier they sound.
If they succeed in dissuading you, be glad. Your commitment simply wasn’t strong enough to do what it takes to get what you want.
If you’re still determined, regardless of their bad tidings, then you win the Saint’s blessing. You’ve got what it takes to break new ground.
And if you’re really sharp, you found some food for thought in the crumbs of their criticism.
Whatever you achieve (or don’t) is significantly affected by everyone you associate with on a regular basis.
Just as it takes a village to raise a child, I’m convinced it takes a supportive community to raise your income.
If the people around you are going to frown upon your success, if there’s a chance they’ll reject you, it’s way too easy to throw in the towel. Why risk abandonment when you’ve got so much support for just staying put?
It’s a well known fact: “You become who you’re with.”
Whenever you decide to do something different — whether it’s making money or losing weight—the desired result always lies just outside your Comfort Zone.
The only way you’ll succeed is by stretching beyond what feels comfortable to what may seem impossible.
The stretch carries with it this strict stipulation: Feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.
From this day forward, find ways to stretch on a regular basis.
The stretch is not about eliminating fear. It’s about acting in spite of it. You are training yourself to surpass former limitations.
Financial achievement is often preceded by a financial challenge. Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get our attention.
The place to begin is admitting what’s not working in your life. It could be anything from bankruptcy or burn out; from feeling undervalued or overworked; from getting a divorce, or desperately wanting one.
No matter how subtle, how small, or how sizable and scary, your willingness to face the problem head on the first step to breaking through it.
Facing a problem means looking it straight in the eye, even if you haven’t a clue what to do about it…especially if you haven’t a clue. Face it without shame blame or judgment. Face it even without a solution in sight.
We all have our internal critics. The ones that tell us what we can’t possibly do.
Those voices may never shut up.
But just because you hear voices in your head, doesn’t mean you have to follow them.
As Vincent Van Gogh once said: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you can not paint,’ by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.”
Indeed, keep reminding yourself: “that’s not my voice.” It’s the voice of a parent, the culture, teachers, friends, something ‘out there.’ But it isn’t mine.
The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable.
Anxiety, fear, worry, nervousness, resistance…all these are normal reactions to new situations.
Fear does not mean something’s wrong. Fear just means that you’re doing something different. And doing it differently is exactly what’s required to go to the next level.
So if its financial success you want, start looking for ways to be uncomfortable.
She sat across the table, looking every bit the savvy businesswoman that she was.
As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.
Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”
“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward, our foreheads almost touching. I could tell this was difficult for her.
“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”
“Tell me what you’re scared of.”
“I’m afraid people won’t like me,” she began slowly, then quickly added, “I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”
“You’re not afraid of success,” I responded. “You’re afraid of power. There’s a definite difference.”
I share this conversation with you because I believe it reveals a critical distinction that we women need to understand. Let me explain.
I truly believe the best way for women to create wealth is by working with financial professionals. But, according to the Wall Street Journal, “fewer than one in five women currently has an advisor.”
Why? Because women can’t find anyone who understands them.
Advisors are talking to women just like they do men. Big mistake. True, money knows no gender. Women, however, are very different from men. Yet the financial world is based on the male model of communication.
Here are 5 powerful insights into how women think:
1) Women are all about relationships. Women are ‘other’ oriented; men are transaction oriented. Women communicate to create relationships and make connections. Men communicate to obtain information, establish status, and show independence. These are 2 very different conversations. The message women want to hear: “I care about you. I understand you. I’m here to support you.” How? Ask lots of questions about her goals, dreams, time frames, life style, opinions, her life in general. Listen more than talk. Find out what she needs, not what you think she needs.
2) Women can be very emotional when it comes to money. But in the financial world, conversations about emotions are considered taboo, too touchy-feely, not part of the financial planning process. Really big mistake. You don’t need a degree in psychology. But you do need to invite her to discuss her fears, her beliefs and her family’s attitudes toward money. Often by simply listening her issues, addressing her qualms while explaining her options can be enough to get her past her emotional blocks.
3) Women want to be educated. Men like to learn through trial and error. Women like to be taught. In a study by Deloitte Touche, 90% of the women expected their financial advisor to educate them. They even rated service, advice and education far ahead of performance. What’s one of the best ways to educate women? Seminars. Why? According to an Emory University study, “the pleasure and reward centers of their brain light up if they can work towards their financial goals in a cooperative way with other women.”
4) Women define success differently than men. Men define success as being in control; women as how well they can help others. The financial media, and the industry itself, seem to believe that scary statistics, alarming statements, and worse case scenarios will actually motivate women. But clearly fear tactics haven’t worked. Instead, talk to her about how investing allows her to experience the joys of philanthropy, the thrill of leaving a legacy, the satisfaction of helping people she loves and causes she’s passionate about.
5) Women clients tend to be more time consuming, especially at the beginning. Women expect more service, ask more questions. But she’ll be your client for life if she knows you are there for her, as her partner, a part of her team, an advisor she can trust. In my 1st appointment with Eileen, my long time advisor, she told me: “My job is to see your needs are met. It’ll take time but I need to find about your goals and level of risk.” And she did. Then she gave me choices. “I see myself in partnership with you. Here are your choices. Let’s discuss each of them and figure out what is best for you.”
I participated in a tele-seminar discussing these very points at length. I believe you’ll find it exciting and informative. Click here to listen.
