You Can’t Do That! Who Do You Think You Are?

We all have internal critics. The ones that tell us what we can’t possibly do, how we’re sure to screw up if we even try.

Those voices may never shut up.  Mine sure haven’t.

But recently I had an epiphany.  Just because I hear voices in my head, doesn’t mean I have to heed them.

If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint.’ by all means paint and the voice will be silenced. ~~Vincent Van Gogh

Instead of listening to that voice, I just keep reminding myself: that’s not my voice. It’s the voice of my dad, the culture, teachers, something ‘out there.’ But it isn’t mine.

Then I simply say to that voice: Thank you for sharing. And I replace that critical voice with a more positive statement, a personal mantra or affirmation.

And no matter how reluctant I feel, I force myself to do what I need to do.

It happened to me recently. I was asked to participate in a project that scared the hell out of me. My inner critic kept warning me, unmercifully, “You can’t do that. You’ll fail miserably.”

I didn’t argue. Nor did I ignore it. Instead, I replaced that voice with a louder one that kept reassuring me, I can handle that.

Did I believe it at first. Of course not.

But I kept repeating it over and over again—I can handle that—until the project I dreaded actually became fun and was a huge success.

How do you deal with that negative voice in your head? Tell me in the comments below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Rhonda Freed

    Didn’t seem to work for Van Gogh ( chuckle).

    I named my voice “Claire” coz most of my critical voices come from her. It helps me separate. My voice from hers, and I say, ” thank you, Claire, but we’re not going there today!”

    I also work with my clients and their neg stories by havi g them create a character outside of themselves in great detail, and listen & talk to that ‘person’ or objeect- again it gets the voices out of your head, and someone Else’s voice!

    • Barbara’ huson

      Ooooo Rhonda, I LOVE naming our critical voice as a way to separate it from our authentic self. Brilliant. Thanks for sharing!

  • Lisa

    I have a lot of education and experience now, but occasionally people (particularly men) just like to nit pick that it’s good, but just not quite enough. Sometimes they might have a valid point about where I can expand , but sometimes it comes from their own insecurities, inexperience and occasionally it gets to me. It brings up stuff that I went through as a child that’s no longer relevant or was never true to begin with!

    When this happens, I try to remember times I kicked butt! Times when people were chasing me, begging me to work for them and throwing money at me. Usually, this also has to do with timing in the universe and the economy or luck in the job market.

    One particular kick ass moment I replay in my head was when I passed my sailing exam. The water was rough and rolling and I managed to dock the boat without a scratch. When I did the emergency stop, I managed to swipe away all these crabs and creepy crawlers, while the two men I was with started screaming uncontrollably like school girls! 😱

  • Barbara’ huson

    What a great accomplishment, Lisa, docking that boat without a scratch. I’d say that’s truly kick ass! I bet you have many other stellar accomplishments!

  • Lisa

    Yeah, I remember it was dark, cloudy and raining 🌧️ that day I went for my license. Visibility was poor and the boat was rocking! It was like all the conditions were against me that day. I did it my second language, too. During the sailing test, I was asked to tie a sailor’s knot 🪢 and luckily it was one that I remembered 😮‍💨 I felt like crying a couple of times. I questioned why I was there!

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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