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The Beginners Guide to Surrender – Step 3

I’m here to tell you,  it’s going to be very tempting to jump into idle distractions–like going on a shopping spree or planning an ambitious project—anything to avoid those difficult feelings. What I did, when I found myself looking for excuses to escape (ok, I admit I fell off the wagon a few times), was to throw myself into Step #3.

 

Step #3—Reassess, reevaluate

The first question most people ask themselves, when facing uncertainty, is: what should I do? I’m here to tell you, that’s the LAST question to pose.  The first questions should always be: What do I need to  let go of? Where am I giving my power away? A big piece of surrender is letting go of what’s holding us back, reclaiming our power. How do you know what needs to go? Whatever you’re most afraid to release.

For me, I was willing to let go of writing, speaking, my business in general, my identity in particular….I was willing to make space for whatever was to come next.

I used the time to ask myself questions: What am I here to do? How do I want to live? Who do I desire to help? Where do I want to make a difference?

I journaled, meditated, read A Course in Miracles, joined a master mind group, processed my insights daily with friends.

Self reflection became my major focus.

Coming up – the result of my self reflection.

The Beginners Guide to Surrender – Step 4

Surrender means taking time to go within.  It also means looking outward with new eyes.  That’s what Step #4 is all about.

Step #4—Receive consciously.

Receiving is an acquired skill most of us have never learned.  I’ve come to see that Successful Surrender requires Conscious Receiving. And the first Rule of Conscious Receiving is:  Give Up Judgment.  In other words:

  • Everything that happens, ‘good’ and ‘bad’, is seen as a message or a gift.
  • There is no negative, there is no positive, there is only information.
  • Whatever  occurs during Surrender is simply feedback about your future.

For example, during this period, I got an idea for a book, was all excited, and sent it my agent. He rejected it immediately.  Normally, I’d be devastated…and, admittedly, I was for a bit. But I began looking for the gift, the message, the lesson.  I figured it wasn’t time for the book but I’d be shown when it was.  And if not the book, something else will surface.

I continued to journal, meditate, self-reflect . Then, a few weeks ago, someone asked me when I was going to do another newsletter. Of course, I took it as a sign. As I wrote it, I felt compelled to blog. So, here I am.  Who knows what’s next!

Next: Final Steps

The Retreat To Being…

If you follow my tweets, you already know.  I just returned from a 5 day retreat, to (as tweeted) “pause, get pampered, and ponder what’s next.”

I was bordering on burn out, and needed to get away.  It wasn’t burn out in the normal sense… I wasn’t exhausted, depressed, or down on my work.  I was just ‘blah’, as in:  there’s no creative juice left in this orange… I was squeezed dry.

My  coach, Martha Lynn Walker, told me what to do:  “get away by yourself,”  she said.   “You’re too into ‘doing.’  You need time for ‘being.’”  That was last Thursday.

You know how, when something is right, the seas seem to part?  That’s what happened to me.  I found the perfect spot within 2 hours driving distance.  Unfortunately, it was booked solid.  Magically, a room became available an hour later.  Within 24 hours,  I was unpacked,  settled in,  gazing at the water view,  journal in hand… just ‘ being.’

My intention:  to breakthrough my blahs… get my mojo back!  I had no idea how… but as I always say; “when the intention is strong, the ‘how’ always shows up.”

Immediately, I had a realization.  Well, it wasn’t really  new… but I always ignored it.  It was something I’ve long wanted to do, but couldn’t get myself to do it.

What I realized:  I rarely blog about me.  I rarely share my innermost thoughts or my personal journey… especially around money.  Even though  that’s the whole point of a blog, right?  But I was scared, resistant.  I’m great at writing other people’s stories or reporting facts and observations.  Self exposure, however, felt  scary, vulnerable.

Which made the next step obvious… I have to face my resistance by revealing myself.  So that’s what I want to do,  starting now.

I’m going to use the next couple of blogs to tell you about my retreat and my revelations.  What’s more, I suspect what I learned about myself could inspire many of you.  It certainly inspired me… I’m back to business, mojo intact.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
[email protected]
www.barbarastanny.com

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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