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Anyone Understand ‘Financialese’?

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you ever met with a financial advisor, and wished you had a translator?  My sister and I, spouses too, have spent the past few months interviewing various advisors for some family trusts.

Nice people, all of them. But once they got started talking, they were suddenly speaking a foreign tongue.

I thought I knew this tongue. I really did. I’ve written 5 books about money. I even wrote one on Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust.

But these folks, at various points in the discussion,  had my head reeling.

At first, I was a bit embarrassed. I mean, I should know this stuff, right?

Then it hit me. No wonder so many women aren’t getting the financial help they need. One conversation with an advisor and their heads are reeling too. And most of them just want to put their reeling heads right back in the sand.

Consider this blog (in part) a Plea to Professionals. C’mon, you guys. Speak in plain English. And then check in with clients at frequent intervals to make sure they’re tracking.

But, truth is, I don’t hold out much hope.

And the truth is the onus is on us. I am a Big Believer in working with professionals…be it for a root canal  or retirement planning.  And sometimes the latter can be as painful as the former! But it doesn’t need to be.

Not if we’re willing to speak up,  ask for clarification, and keep asking until we understand.

It all boils down to this. If  you don’t understand  ‘Financialese,’ it doesn’t mean you’re stupid.  It’s simply a sign to ask more questions.  The payoff is clarity. But, I’m here to tell you, the real reward is how powerful you’ll feel for standing up for yourself.

Can you relate to this post? You can tell me about your conversations with a financial advisor by leaving a comment below.

STOPPING The Oh-So-Subtle Self–Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

In my previous post, I played true confessions.  I fessed up that, years ago, I constantly put myself down…without really knowing it!

I have a hunch many of you do the same.  And believe me, self depreciation is a subtle but serious form of self sabotage.

I’d like to share what I did to stop. It wasn’t easy. I’m far from perfect. But success is so much easier since I curtailed my self-criticism and began acknowledging my value.

Here’s my 3-point plan to Stop Self Criticism—Observe; Brag; Find Spotters.

  1. I started by observing my conversations. Every time I heard me belittling myself, I stopped. Literally stopped, mid-sentence, and force myself to say something positive…even if it was just ‘thank you.’
  2. I started bragging (thanks to Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts). I mean, I actually prefaced sentences with “I brag…” and then tooted my own horn.
  3. I shared my goal with a few close friends, asking  them to spot me by pointing out my more subtle put-downs. They had no trouble catching me in the act.  Their feedback was quite effective.

Admittedly, these steps, at first, felt ridiculously uncomfortable, completely awkward. But gradually, I began to notice something.  My self-derision all but disappeared. And I felt much better about myself.

I’m here to say, I swear it’s true–what you share, you definitely strengthen. Please leave a comment below on how these steps support you in achieving greatness.

My Last Ditty on Discipline (at least for now)

Written by Barbara Huson

I wonder if we women aren’t lacking a gene that makes this form of discipline especially difficult.  The final technique,  Strategic thinking, means keeping one eye on your higher purpose without taking the other off the bottom line.

Men seem much savvier at strategic thinking. Women, in their eagerness to give back to  their community or give birth to their dreams, often neglect this critical step.

To  think strategically, you must constantly link your Big Vision to the costs of doing business, connect your mission statement to the profit/loss statement.

One  woman explained it this way: “Connect everything with the numbers. To be a successful business woman, you have to strategize all the time on how to make the numbers work.”

And another,  a business owner  “The secret to a million dollars is continuously reevaluating the expenses to run a lean, mean business.”

And still another: “Once you know where the profit is, it’s just a matter of multiplying how many widgets you need to sell.”

Basically, strategic thinking involves:

  • figuring out the costs to do business
  • cutting losses when something wasn’t working
  • designing effective structures and systems
  • daily strategizing and yearly long term planning

Strategic thinking did not come easily to many of these women.

“This is not my nature,” said a former journalist, “I’m a writer. It was something I had to learn. No matter how passionate you are, you have to have business savvy.”

You can learn to think strategically by reading books, taking classes, talking to others, and/or consulting with professionals in or outside your industry.

I find strategic thinking is best done with others. My advice for tackling this technique– form a Strategic Task Force. Invite people (anywhere from 1 to 10) you trust, respect, and admire. Meet with them regularly to help you stay on track  strategically or  contact them when you need strategic solutions to problematic situations.

Please comment on your experience with strategic thinking.  This is definitely something I want to learn more about!

Some Denial is Good For the Soul!

Written by Barbara Huson

“Forgetting what you are not enables you to remember what you are”

-A Course in Miracle

I sometimes wonder if we’re hardwired to hate discipline. I think exercising discipline is to adults what eating veggies are to kids… we do it because it’s good for us. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it!! And we’ll try anything to get out of it!

It wasn’t until my interviews with women who make millions that I had a stunning realization. The key to disciplined action is disciplined thinking.

When I shifted my focus from making myself do something to monitoring my thoughts, my behavior changed (almost) automatically.

I started using a technique I call Constructive Denial. That meant I began consciously and deliberately denying any limiting beliefs, irrational fears or feelings of inferiority about how small, inadequate or inconsequential I was.  As a Course in Miracles explains: “Denial is as capable of being used positively as well as negatively.”

For instance, when that voice in my head says (as it often does) “you don’t have what it takes to do that!” instead of caving in, I come back with, “Thanks for sharing, but I absolutely DO have what it takes.” That one retort dramatically reduces my resistance to taking action.

That’s what these successful women told me they did. They carefully observed their conversations (internal and external), making sure they didn’t lapse into—or catching themselves when they did—automatic self depreciatory or negative patterns.

As a long time mega earner explained to me, “You have to remind yourself: I’m OK. I have strengths. It’s hard. But you have to!”

They made themselves focus on their strengths and successes, talk about their achievements, and reaffirm their value to themselves.  They were constantly giving themselves pep talks, and repeating positive affirmations.

I found a terrific affirmation in a fabulous book called The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel: “I am that which I will to be.”  When I feel stuck, scared or small, I repeat that phrase, followed by “I have everything it takes to be a stellar success,” or “I am bursting with creative ideas for my next blog”.  Then I act as if it’s true.  It may seem contrived. But it actually works.

I suspect a lot of you do the same thing. Share your affirmations by adding a comment below.

Sweet (?) Surrender

Written by Barbara Huson

You may have noticed. There’s been a big gap between my last blog and this one. What a perfect metaphor!!

For months now, I’ve been literally living in the Gap.  Last December, I ended one phase of my life (my business partnership) but to date, haven’t begun the next phase (still being determined).

However, instead of forcing things into focus, I decided to consciously Surrender. Allow the future to unfold at its own pace, in its preferred direction.

This is not a tact I’d normally take.   I’m a go-getter kind of gal.   Surrender, to me, had negative connotations, something to be avoided by anyone with any ambition. Or at least that’s what I thought…

…until I began interviewing women who made millions. Making millions was my new goal, and the idea for my next book.  In the course of those conversations, however, I stumbled on a startling revelation.

Every woman I interviewed experienced a sort of limbo, or ‘time-between,’ just before she started making millions. They all described spending somewhat lengthy periods in the unknown, tolerating (though not enjoying) the uncertainty, allowing things to fall apart without rushing to put them back together

I saw how these Time-Outs served an essential role in their eventual triumphs because they used them, as one woman put it, “to regroup and come back stronger.”

These Surrender Points were often precipitated by an outside event—anything from a painful loss to a life threatening illness—though sometimes, the women themselves deliberately chose to step off the grid. I much preferred to follow in the latter’s footsteps… surrender and regroup–by design, not default.  It’s been quite a ride!

I intend to use my blog, at least for a bit, to explore this whole notion of surrender, share my experiences with you, and most of all, hear from those of you who’ve done something similar.

I’m beginning to think it’s time we stop avoiding the void.



A Sure Sign You’re in the Discomfort Zone

Written by Barbara Huson

Glass wall - ResistanceYou know the feeling. You finally decide to take charge of your money. You’re going to get smart. You’re going to pay off your debt. You’re going to invest regularly. Off you go…when suddenly, you run smack dab into resistance.

Resistance, by the way, is the psychological term for “I don’t want to do this!” You don’t feel right. You get scared. You want to quit. Resistance, more than anything else, is what stops women from taking the financial reins.

Trouble is, resistance is very subtle and easy to justify. To help you identify when you’re in it, I’ve come up with Twelve Signs You’re In Resistance

1. YOU’RE TOO BUSY (“I have no time.”)

2. YOU PROCRASTINATE (“I’ll do it later.”)

3. YOU’RE SCARED INTO INACTION (“Omygawd, what if…?”)

4. YOU DEFER DECISIONS (“You do it, you decide.”)

5. YOU LOSE INTEREST (“This is boring, it’s not my thing.”)

6. YOU’RE FORGETFUL (“Oh, I meant to, but I forgot.”)

7. YOU’RE DISORGANIZED (“Where did I put that…?”)

8. YOU FOG UP, SPACE OUT (“What are you talking about?”)

9. YOU FEEL PARALYZED (“I just can’t think or get going.”)

10. YOU FIND REASONS NOT TO ACT (“I can’t because…”)

11. YOU’RE IMPATIENT (“This is taking way too long.”)

12. YOU KEEP RUNNING INTO NAYSAYERS (Other people say, ‘You can’t do that,” “That’s not possible.”) This form of resistance is especially sneaky. You project your own fear out onto others.

How do you get past resistance?

  • Understand that resistance is normal. It simply means things are changing, not that something is wrong
  • Do not let resistance derail you, at least not for very long
  • Whatever it is you don’t want to do, that is exactly what you need to do next

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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