Stone Heart

Say Good-Bye to Barbara Stanny

Oh, I’m not going anywhere. But I am changing my name to Barbara Huson. If you’re up for a tale of true love, I’ll  explain why.

10 years ago, thanks to the magic of match.com, I had a lunch date with a guy named Lee Huson. I knew immediately he was not my type (blue collar, Republican).

But he was tall and bald (I’m a sucker for both). So I gave him a chance. As we talked, I noticed he was quite smart, deep, spiritual and funnier than hell. By the end of our date, he’d miraculously morphed into my type.

He told me later that the next day he heard “a voice” say to him: “You are here to love, appreciate and support Barbara.

He’s repeated those words to me almost daily for the last decade. And his behavior has followed suit.

Five years later we married. But I didn’t take his name. It was too much hassle. My business identity was wrapped tightly around Stanny. So was my social life. Most friends never bother with Barbara. They just call me Stanny.

A few months ago, however, sitting at my desk, gazing mindlessly out the window, it hit me. (I’ve always found mindless gazing highly productive.) 

Why was I hanging on to the name of my ex—who constantly let me know how unhappy he was with me—when I had a man who supported me unconditionally???

That’s when I made the decision. Stanny had to go. Not just because I wanted Lee’s name. But because, as I continued gazing, I realized Lee’s unwavering love for me, just as I am, had radically changed me. Though I hadn’t fully understood it until that pivotal moment.

He’d become my mirror and I started seeing myself through his appreciative reflection. Over time, I’ve actually come to love and accept myself…just as I am.

My name change is a tribute to the miracle of love. Obviously, to the wonderful man I married. But, even more miraculous, to the love I finally found for myself.

Granted, it will take quite a while to change all the branding, URL, email address, etc. But I wanted you to be the first to know.  And if you have any tips on changing a name I’d love to hear them!


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Comments & Feedback

  • Rhonda Freed

    Awesome story, Barbara Hudson! Inspiring and moving, as you always are—just another evidence to your tremendous abundance.
    Thanks for sharing!

    • b

      Thank YOU, Rhonda, for your sweet comment. I really appreciate it.

    • ine Muir

      Oh what a beautiful love story, Barb. Warmest hugs and love to you awesome woman,
      xoxox Caroline Muir

    • cristie sandoval

      Congrats Barbara !!! I just want to tell you, that you change my life about two years ago when I met you in a call with the group Your year in miracles. I´m a Financial Adviser and Financial healer also, and I just want to every woman in the world listen to your story. Thanks a lot to let your light bright and guide us

  • Laura Jacobs

    I am quelling from you

  • Dawn

    That is a fantastic story. What a great guy.

  • Stacy Menzies

    No tips but what a fantastic story! Congratulations on finding somebody who helps you see you for you.

    • barbara stanny

      Thanks Stacy…it took me 60 years to find him, but he was worth waiting for!

      • Natascha Roes

        Thank you for sharing your heart warming story, and for showing that miracles and transformations do happen every day, regardless of age.

        I’ve just turned 50 and have been divorced for the past 17 years ( I never took my ex-husband’s name, so no hassle there to get things changed again), and just like you I’m not willing to settle for less, but for everything and all that I am and more.
        That makes it worth waiting for that one special man, who’s your rock always!
        One day soon I know I will wake up next to this man every day and we both will feel so lucky to have found each other, knowing it was worth the wait!

        Sending you and Lee lots of love from sunny Dubai.

        • barbara huson

          Natascha, you are so sweet…I really appreciate your kind words…and am sending prayers for your own wonderful love story to show up very soon!!!

  • Laura Hollick

    Epic Congratulations for letting love penetrate you so deeply! And, marking the love with your name . So beautiful. Thank you Barbara Huson!

  • Jill

    If you have purchased your passport recently (I believe it’s a year), you can change your name for free.

    • barbara stanny

      REALLY???? I just got it last year. So good to know. Thanks Jill!

    • Alana Ruben Free

      Yes, I just did it as well!! No more last name of my ex on my passport. The next step will be my credit cards, etc. Fortunately, few know me by that name. Congrats! And thank you for aligning your outer name with your inner truth.

    • Linda Fairchild

      Love the way our community shares the practical tips!!! Awesome tip, Jill.

  • Ella (Yael) Greenberg

    Congratulations, Barbara. What a brave move! I know my sister-in-law has a lot of practical things to say about the process (what order to do things in, etc.). She documented her process when she did it; I’ll ask her to send me a copy.

    • barbara stanny

      Hi Yael! I’d LOVE to see her process. That would be great. Email it to me if you get it. It’s really a quite a hassle!! I’d love her suggestions.

  • Ali Groves

    Ah Barbara!! I hear you!! I feel “Stuck” with my ex’s name as it’s also my business name too!!
    I have thought about going back to my maiden name but that would mean, like you changing everything!! I have clients that have known me for 15 years or so and have always worried that they wouldn’t find me again!! Then there’s the thing of having a different surname to my two boys…
    Hilariously my ex has remarried and taken in his wife’s surname as a double barrel….
    I’ll be watching you for tips!!!

    • barbara huson

      I hear YOU, Ali…you’ll change it (or not) when you’re ready. And believe me, it’s such a hassle, you truly need to be ready and really want it!!!

  • Tracey Adams

    Congrats Barbara!! What a wonderful story.

    After the divorce of my second husband, I was wanting to change my last name as well. I did not want his name, nor did I every really identify with it. So rather than going back to my father’s name (let me morph into some man for my identity was my pattern), I decided to pick my own last name. I chose Adams. I liked that is was in the front of the alphabet. I liked that is was easy to spell – my dad’s name is Atias, and no one ever knew how to pronounce it – what a hassle all my life to correct it. I felt FREE for the first time in my life to be the name I wanted and during a divorce it is FREE to change it.

    I have been Dr. Tracey Adams for 10 years now, and I will never change it again.

    As a side note, I have a transgender teenager I am raising, and we are in conversation now about what name he wants to be legally. I love that I get to pass this liberation on to my 14-year old who identifies as male. When someone misgenders him and he gets frustrated – I simple respond “be who you are”… I look forward to the day, he and I get to go to the courthouse and change his name officially!!! We can all do this any time we want – not just through marriage or divorce!!

    • barbara huson

      Tracey…I love that you created your own name. I thought of that too…and if I wasn’t married, I would have changed to Barbara Bliss.

      You are a fabulous mom!!!

  • Joan Heartfield, PhD

    Aloha Barbara,

    I was so touched by your decision. And so grateful that you also have a fabulous man in your life that loves you the way he does! 22 years ago when I was first with Tomas and asked him what his goals were, he said, “My goal is to love you as perfectly as I can.” We are blessed with great men in our lives. May we all have this kind of support, love and encouragement in our lives.

    Your brand is you–and your name change will only help people appreciate you more, especially knowing the reason behind the name change!

    Love and Blessings, and the happiest of holidays to you and Lee and your family!

    • barbara huson

      What a sweet, heartfelt comment, Joan…thank you so much. I so appreciate your wonderful support xoxox

  • Joan Goldberg

    Barbara, this is such a beautiful story! It sounds like a “fairy tale.”
    Do I have your permission to share it with some of my friends from
    Mama Gena’s course? I love you my any name.

  • Lourdes

    I am over the moon happy for you!!!! As you’ve taught so eloquently we can have it all………..eventually.

    Much love to you!

  • Debbie Falconer

    That is awesome, congratulations Barbara! May I suggest that I would be open to an extra email a week until we get used to Hyou? 🙂

  • Tammi

    I just did 10 cartwheels trailing glitter all the way for you and Lee! My advice would be to keep your own identity. When you gave me that advice over 5 yrs ago I didn’t know what you meant. I know now and it’s brilliant. You’re brilliant. Loved. Loving. Cheers to you on your realization that not only did he say it, he showed it with his actions.

    I love you.

  • cyn

    Wow! I am reallllllly inspired by your love story! I tend to get stuck in the ‘powerful women are lonely belief system, and I am invariably proven wrong with a little poking around. Thank you, Stanny.
    Maybe a book on love is in your future, too?

    • barbara huson

      Cyn, I LOVE what you wrote…let that ‘powerful women are lonely” belief go. The secret: find a man with high self esteem. That’s really the key!!!

  • Celia Slattery

    Thank you for sharing this inspiring story, Barbara Huson! You are a role model. And thank you for introducing me to Karen McCall’s work. I just signed up for her course!
    xox

    • barbara huson

      Thanks for your post, Celia…and I’m thrilled you’re doing Karen’s course…let me know how you like it.

  • CATHERINE FISCHER

    Congratulations on your happiness! And, congratulations on letting go of the past to move forward.

    • barbara huson

      Thanks Catherine. You are so right…Letting go of the past is critical to moving forward. I honestly thought it would be a lot harder that it actually has been.

  • Lara

    Barbara Hudson, I am SO happy for you! What a beautiful story. Thank you for the inspiration.
    Here’s to the power of LOVE!!!
    Wishing you so much joy!!
    xoxo

  • Robyn

    just be aware that it takes 5-9 years to fully settle into the new name energetically

  • debbie

    Your truth made me smile. I loved your story and wish you the very best in changing your name and rebranding. The good news is that the hard work has been done and you have a vast array of followers that will find you and continue on their quest to be financially savvy. Best wishes! xo, Debbie

  • Andrea

    What a lovely story…I’m so happy for you!

    I will follow you whatever your name may be…hope to be able to work with you again in the future.

    Best,
    Andrea

  • Rona

    There is nothing like tut power of love and emotional empowerment! So happy for you, Barbara!

  • Susan Motheral

    I am so happy for you darling Barbara! Happy, happy, happy!! xoxo

    • barbara huson

      Big huge hugs and kisses to you, Susan. It’s so great to hear from you…and receive your heartfelt wishes!!!

  • LJ

    So great you found a loving partner! Names are really important–you have to repeat them several times a day. I was so happy to go back to my maiden name after going through divorce as it helped restore my battered identity. You’d also be amazed at how many people do not like their first names and go through life with it. I changed my first name to my initials and was much happier. It wasn’t an easy transition but many people came up and told me they didn’t like their first names and would have liked to change it–I said “It’s never too late! Change it!” Don’t live with something you’re not happy with–when you have a choice.

  • Deborah Kern

    Oh, Barbara! This makes me smile ALL OVER. Thank you for sharing your love story with us. I love you and Lee!!!

  • Charlene

    Yyyaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!! Ba bye Stanny. Hheellllooooo Huson! No more BS heehee Extra – ordinary.
    XOXO
    Charlene

  • Linda

    Congratulations Barbara! ! So happy for you. Thanks for being authentic and sharing. I always appreciate your insight.
    Linda

  • Geraldine

    congratulations, and wishing you both many years of love and happiness, I will follow you,

    Geraldine

  • Sherold Barr

    Barbara this was a wonderful story that brought happiness to a lot of people who read your posts. I want to recommend Natasha Lakos who does my branding and design work. She is fabulous and can help you with the branding. Best to you in the New Year!

    • barbara huson

      Thanks so much, Sherold. I’ll definitely keep Nataha’s name in mind. Thanks for writing and for the suggestion.

  • Michele Tomasicchio

    Way to go Huson!!! Thanks for sharing your personal journey. Changing your name to say “yes” to the love, connection and spiritual bond you have with Lee is magical. There is power in words and names. There is energy in words and names. Good for you to move forward with what feels right for you.

    Continued success and love in 2018!

    -Michele

  • Renee

    Isn’t it wonderful that life sent you the greatest challenge in just the right form for you to to become Barbara Huson.
    AND more amazing that your insights, knowledge, and compassion has impacted the lives of so many women/men over
    years . I KNOW that SPIRIT always has a plan in mind much greater and in size that is too big. You need to grow into it.
    Many Blessings. Barbara

  • Annette

    Barbara Huson,
    Once again, your simple post shared so much wisdom. Too often our world shares what’s wrong and not what’s right. Your simple post elucidated what a strong healthy relationship looks like. Blessings to you and Lee for many more years.

  • SG Polly (Wall Coe Daly)

    Dear Barbara,
    I remember when…. you’d NEVER get married again!… and have witnessed your metamorphosis & love journey and commitment to pleasure since then. I’m so thrilled you have heard P…. whispering to you, and that you are excited for this change – yay!
    For my part, I carry 4 names: first, given surname, 1st married surname (per my children) and finally 2nd married surname. I figure anyone who ever knew me will pick upon at least one of those. That said, if I marry again I may choose to return simply to my first (“maiden”) name; we’ll see.
    As for how to proceed: BEGIN with SOCIAL SECURITY, then you can move on to everything else: license, passport, financial accounts….
    Best wishes to you & Lee, Mr & Mrs Huson. l love you right there!
    XO SG Polly

    • barbara huson

      Hey Polly…how fabulous to hear from you. And you’re right. I was NEVER ever going to get married. But here I am. And yes, I started with the social security card…but it’s a bitch trying to get around to everything. Oh well…it’s a worthy project. BIg LOVE to you and HUGE HUGS xoxo

      • Kirsten Apple

        That is the real inspiration right there…. “I was never going to get married, but here I am” perhaps your next book. I have this “multiple marriage bliss theory” that says people who stay married in their 2nd or 3rd+ marriage are happier than 1st marriage – they know what they want and will not settle for anything less. The statistics say that 2nd and 3rd+ marriages the divorce rate increases – you can not argue the statistic , but we can change the paradigm shift and that maybe that is good thing and that remarriage are happier than 1st marriages, on average. Basically there are a lot of 1st marriages that are unhappy – the walking dead marriages, but 2nd and 3rd+ marriages are either blissfully happy (like yours) or they are divorced. Something worth exploring and you already are an expert 🙂

  • Millie Anderson

    Fantastic gazing experience! If we are going to have men’s names, why not join the clan of such a great guy! Think there are any more like him on Match ?
    Happy Holidays!

    • barbara huson

      Hi Millie…sorry I’m responding so late, but just saw your post. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to write. And it’s so special to hear from you. Yes, there are definitely more like Lee on match.com….but it takes a lot of patience to find him. Took me years…and all I can say is that he was way worth waiting for!! Good luck to you. Much love xoxox

  • Linda Fairchild

    WOW, just WOW, Barbara Huson. I may start calling you Barbara Goddess of Transformation Huson now! I also like that your initials are no longer BS.
    As an art and design person, the “o” rounds out your name, as Lee rounds out your life. It is beautiful graphically. Sending you art love and magic for the next logo design.

  • Linda Scott

    It’s a beautiful story at a time of year the greatest story ever told creates miracles and it all comes from LOVE! Congrats on your love story and may your new name bring you much happiness and success!

  • Bodil Johansen

    My experience is, if you really want to change your name, all the practical card-things will fall into place.

  • Carol Jack

    No tips on the name change but I wanted to add my congratulations and best wishes to you on your great love story. Pleased to meet you Barbara Huson x

  • Suzanne Leonora

    Well, I’m a sucker for a happy love story!! Thank you— I’m picking it up on the first shiny day of the new year. I changed my last name just for myself, releasing the aesthetically-problematic family name of my estranged father, and affirming my beautiful given middle name as my personal clan name. I get compliments on it all the time. I went to court to do it: petitioned for cheap, ran the required posts in the local legal paper, for cheap, went before the judge and stuck to my emotional and aesthetic explanation, and that was it. I carried certified copies of the petition around as I was changing cards; you’ll want to do the same with your marriage certificate. Administrators just need to know that it’s not a criminal alias 😉

    • barbara huson

      Wow, Suzanne, you had to go through a lot more steps than I did to change my name!!! Mine was far easier. It just takes time. Thanks for writing.

  • Suzanne Jenne

    Barbara, I love your work so much! I don’t care what your last name is! I’ve read your books and you have helped me through my own darkness. You are a miracle to women who have lost direction and need to find themselves again. How ironic that you talk about your struggle to change your name; I wouldn’t change mine when I married for the first time at 58. It’s a fascinating thing to find love and to be transformed by it. And to realize you WANT to change your name for a new beginning is a powerful reckoning! How wonderfulI can’t wait to read Sacred Success!

    • barbara huson

      I just saw your post, Suzanne…I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it…and glad I didn’t miss it. You are so sweet and generous with your kindness. And I’m so happy you found love too!!!

  • Jenny Szewiel

    This is such a lovely story, thanks for sharing!

  • Sandy

    really lovely to hear this, Barbara!

  • Mel

    Congrats and much love to you and your husband. I am unfortunately at the start of your story but fortunately never did take his name. Blessings, M

  • Carla Holden

    This story inspired me and was not what I expected to find when I googled your name but of course is exactly the story I needed to hear. Looking forward to the day when a wonderful man comes to love appreciate and support me. So beautiful!! Congrats on the new name Barbara!

    • barbara huson

      Thank you CArla…so glad you googled and we got to meet. Someday…your prince will come…let me know when he does!!!

  • Priti

    Hey Barbara! Currently reading Sacred Sucess and thought I’d check your website out and stumbled across this post. I got married 2 years ago and haven’t taken hubby’s name for the same reason aka business. Maybe one day! Love this post you have shared

  • Daisy

    Dear Barbara,
    I am taking Mastery this year, and I just listened to the recording of your guest speaking call. You were absolutely astounding in your deep understanding of what was going on with each woman, I am deeply moved by your profound insights. Thank you. I just downloaded your free investment leaflet, which I am excited to delve into.
    Sending love and infinite gratitude,
    Daisy

    • barbara huson

      Thanks so much Daisy…i can’t tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to write and your kind words. Big hugs xoxox

  • Lori Mercer

    I sought you out after Kate Northrop have you a shout out. And this is the first post I read. No coincidence. My business brand is heavily wrapped in my name. I’ve published books in my name. And I’m now in the middle of a divorce from a man who never supported my business endeavors :(. What a hopeful post for me to read!

    • barbara huson

      I LOVE when coincidences like this happen, Lori. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know. My ex never supported my work either…but let me tell you, when you find the right man who does, it will feel so damn good. Wishing you much success xoh

  • Elizabeth Bonet

    I can’t believe I read this today. I have followed you off and on for about 10 years. Your underearning book changed my life. I was looking for another link from a friend and ran across this one. After not dating for almost 5 years, I met a wonderful man and we are talking marriage and I’m still trying to figure out the last name thing due to using mine professionally! Thanks you so much for this post and to everyone for the comments!

    • barbara huson

      Congratulations, Elizabeth. Glad this post (and my book) helped…thank you so much for letting me know!! Wishing you a lifetime of wedded bliss!

  • Lina

    I just discovered your existence yesterday (haha) and I’ve been listening to Secrets of Six-Figure Women for a few hours and it’s rocking my world (in a great way!) So I’ve been looking for more info about you and I found your website. I love this love story. Congratulations!

    • barbara huson

      Hi Lina…I’m so glad to “meet” you here. And thrilled you found my website and are enjoying my book. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you writing me. Thanks so much!!!

  • Kim

    I just bought your book and wanted to know your history. I’m now very interested b/c I’m going through a divorce and have a similar situation. Soon to be ex husband never was supportive of my goals and was always unhappy with me yet wants me when I’m gone. I’m very happy for you and cannot wait to finish reading your book!

    • barbara huson

      Thanks so much, Kim, for your sweet comment. And good luck on your divorce…it’s not an easy time, I know. Hope you enjoy my book!

  • Sandy

    I couldn’t love this story more . . .

  • Claudia

    Barbara, the universe sent you that amazing man! So give him an important place in your name. I have a story similar to your. good look!

    • barbara huson

      Awwww, Claudia…I do have an amazing man…sounds like we both do!! I appreciate what you wrote: “Give him an important place in your name”…so beautifully expressed. Thanks.

  • Leslie Crisp

    Hi Barbara, we met many years back when I was living in Corvallis. I am in the Hospice Stage of battling a Stage IV Ovarian Cancer diagnosis from a year ago. My heart literally swelled when I read this joyous story! I want to tell the whole world what an endless giver, gifted teacher and remarkable human being Barbara Huson is. Your union with this lovely man is a gift of hope for women and men. Sending you so much love and blessings of happiness for the future. LC

    • barbara huson

      I have no words to thank you for this heartfelt post. I deeply appreciate your generosity, your appreciation, your praise…even as you’re making your way to the other side. I can only imagine how big your heart must be, how full of love you are, to write this during what must be a difficult period. I want you to know I’m printing out your post and putting it on my wall…that’s how much your words mean to me. And I’m sending heartfelt prayers that your time on this earth be comfortable, surrounded by love, and filled with beautiful memories. Big hugs of deep appreciation. xoxoxo

  • Wendy Morison

    You truly are brave and wholehearted! Your actions just made me realise how fearful I really am, and how that blocks me from accessing the bounty of my own life. Thank you for walking on water, and giving us the courage to follow. Bless you.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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