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Humility or Self-Sabotage?

Decades ago, a coach gave me a powerful assignment.  It’s something I’ll never forget.

For 2 weeks, I was to simply observe my conversations, without changing a thing. Just notice what I talked about, the words I used, my typical reactions…you know, the stuff I was sharing with others.

What I saw was not pretty.

I had a habit of putting myself down…without even realizing it. I’d constantly dismiss my skills (“Oh, that’s no big thing”), deflect praise (“I thought I was awful”), and diminish my successes (“But I could’ve done so much better”).

What felt like humility was, in truth, an act of self-sabotage. Every word of self -depreciation put another dent in my self-esteem.

 “What you share you strengthen,” explains A Course in Miracles. I was strengthening my self-doubt while crushing my confidence.  No wonder I was struggling.

What about you? Could you be minimizing your achievements, underestimating your value, chipping away at your sense of worth?   I invite you to find out.

Spend a few weeks simply noticing what you talk about. Then ask yourself this question: Could I be undermining my success by what I’m sharing with others?

Leave me a comment below to tell me what you observed.

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Comments & Feedback

  • Audrey

    Dear Barbara,

    This is so important. I hear myself and so many other women say things like “I don’t want to brag” – like talking about our success or skills is somehow wrong and we need to apologize.

    I was in Port Townsend last week visiting – I lived in Port Hadlock at the Alcohol Plant on my boat for a year and half in 2001-2002.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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