The Trinity of Trust

Written by Barbara Huson

Years ago, I trusted my husband with my money. He was a stockbroker after all. But, alas, he lost almost everything. After our divorce, I was terrified to trust anyone again.

Then at some point it dawned on me. I couldn’t just ignore money. I needed to start trusting myself. But how? I was financially clueless.

If you’re in a similar situation, let me introduce you to what I’ve come to call the Trinity of Trust. It’s how I began the journey of reclaiming my power and taking financial responsibility

As I spent time connecting with each point on this triangle, I found myself building a firm foundation of trust in myself, in others who were trustworthy, and in the my Higher Power.

Are You a Victim of Financial Abuse? 10 Red Flags

Written by Barbara Huson

Financial abuse is a serious form of domestic violence, but no one ever really talks about it.

While financial abuse is devastating, many, like me, may be totally unaware it’s happening to them.

In the beginning, financial abuse can be so subtle it’s easily misinterpreted as a loving gesture.

“I don’t want finances to stress you,” my first husband would say to me. “Let, me take care of the money and I’ll give you what you need.”

However, as in my case, the abuser’s efforts to control will, in time, escalate into intimidation, threats of violence and often, physical harm.

How do you know if you’re a victim? Here are 10 Red Flags. Read them carefully and circle the ones that apply to you:

Your partner refuses to talk about money. They get defensive, angry or accusatory.
Your partner goes on spending binges, buying expensive items you really can’t afford.
Your partner racks up debt on your credit card.
Your partner frequently gambles, at the casino, the race track, or in the stock market.
You get frequent calls from creditors, which your partner dismisses or assures you everything is ok.
Your partner keeps saying you don’t have enough to buy certain items, which doesn’t make sense based on your incomes.
Your partner uses money to control you or restricts your access to money.
You question their financial decisions, and they immediately turns the table and makes you wrong.
You notice how often you excuse, justify, rationalize their behavior to others and yourself.
Your gut tells you something is wrong.

If even one of these red flags feels even remotely familiar, I urge you to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 (SAFE). They are there, 24/7, to give you the help, information and resources you need.

Have you been affected by financial abuse? Share in the comments below. Your story could help someone else.

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

Written by Barbara Huson

I admit it. When it comes to negotiating—anything—I always lapse into a temporary panic. Words like adversarial, nerve-wracking and intimidating leap to mind.

However, when I met Rhonda Noordyk and was a guest on her podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, my whole attitude changed. A former financial advisor, Rhonda left the industry in 2014 to become a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. She created The Woman’s Financial Wellness Center, devoted to ensuring women achieve financial justice in a divorce.

I was instantly impressed with Rhonda’s sunny disposition and her razor-sharp intelligence, so I invited her to speak to my online community, The Wealth Connection.

She completely transformed my view of negotiation by introducing the acronym, ANOT.

“It’s a very powerful acronym,” Rhonda explained. “Our clients have had 100% success rate with it. In fact, it’s great for all kinds of communications, even emails.”

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

She had just separated from her husband, moved to a new town and was trying to restart the coaching business she’d put on hold.

Yet she kept procrastinating doing the things she needed to do.

“I feel stuck,” she sighed. “Like I hit a brick wall.”

“You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.”

I spoke from experience. I remember, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco, a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I sank into a confusing funk. This wasn’t what I expected.

That’s when I read Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges and understood what was happening. A transition is a gradual psychological process of reorienting to the new situation.

Primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Members were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” Bridges writes, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.”

The wilderness is full of uncertainty, indecision, confusion, disorientation, vacillation–all a vital part of the reorientation process.

The ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. Or take decisive action. Or even make plans.

It is a time to feel our feelings, grieve our losses, practice self-care and, like the primitives, commune with our spirit guides.

We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

“The more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty,” I told my client, “the quicker you will get through it.”

Eventually, I assured her, your energy will return. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

How have you successfully navigated transitions in your life? Leave me a comment below.

Has It Clicked Yet?

Written by Barbara Huson

I call it the Click. It’s that ‘aha’ moment when you recognize, with every fiber of your being, that you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it

Without the Click, upping your income can be an uphill battle. But once you realize how capable you are, how much value you offer, barriers that once felt insurmountable will begin to disappear.

You see, there is a direct correlation between your level of self-esteem and the amount that you earn.

Virtually every high earner I interviewed for my books swore money was not her primary motivation. But at the same time, she fully expected to be highly compensated because she knew she was worth it.

How do you build that kind of self esteem? How do you access the Click? Simply put: Do
what you dread.

That’s probably not what you wanted to hear. But trust me, there’s no better way to boost your confidence than by doing what you are scared to do or don’t believe you can do.

All the Answers Aren’t ‘Out There’

Written by Barbara Huson

I spent most of my adult life desperately trying to figure out finances. I dutifully went to classes, read books, talked to advisors. Nothing helped.

And then I began journaling about my experience. That’s when I had a realization that, I know now, began the rewiring process in my brain and I finally began to breakthrough my formidable blocks.

That realization led me to create a fundamentally different approach to empowering women financially—the approach I now call the Rewire Process.

I realized that traditional financial education focused almost exclusively on the practical facts. And in too many cases, it still does today.

But my experience taught me that when the facts don’t make sense and all of the practical knowledge makes no difference, the key may be hidden inside you.

As I wrote in my journal, I heard that familiar voice in my head telling me how stupid I was. But instead of letting that voice hold sway, as I always had, I decided to get to know it better. I asked the voice where it came from and what it wanted.

The Timeless Wisdom of Wealth Creation

Written by Barbara Huson

The year is 1926. Henry Ford announces the 40-hour work week. The first SAT test is administered. And the notorious gangster, Al Capone, is terrorizing New York.

But the real news is this. The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clausen—perhaps the best financial book ever written–hits the shelves.

This quaint parable, filled with timeless wisdom, became a classic because it demystifies wealth building like nothing else I’ve read.

When we first meet the richest man in Babylon, he is telling friends the secret to his fortune.

“I found the road to wealth,” he tells them, “when I decided that a part of all I earn is mine to keep.”

The men look at him incredulously. “Is that all?” one asks, insisting that of course everything he makes is his to keep.

The wealthy man just shakes his head. “You fool, you pay everyone but yourself,” he cries, pointing to the clothing sellers, sandal makers, and wine merchants.

Instead, the rich man counsels them, learn to spend less and pay yourself first. “For every 10 coins thou places in thy purse, take out for use but nine.”

This is the way that Wealth Builders live—a part of all they earn goes into their personal savings on a regular basis. In other words, they pay themselves first.

I’ve watched countless underearners transform small salaries into hefty bank balances by simply socking away small amounts into a savings account every month.

But now, unlike 95 years ago, you can do this automatically. Fill out a form and voila, the bank takes care of everything.

What do you do next? The rich man’s guidance is simple. Once you learn to live on less than you earn, next “seek advice from those who were competent through their own experiences to give it. And, lastly…make gold work for you.”

If you follow Clausen’s timeless wisdom faithfully—pay yourself first, learn from those with experience, and invest for long term gain–you’ll find yourself well on the way to wealth!

What gets in your way to creating wealth? Comment below and let me know

How to Have a Legendary Love Affair…with Money

Written by Barbara Huson

In the spirit of Valentine’s day, I have a suggestion. There’s no better time to start having a legendary love affair with your money.

Think of it this way…

Money is like the perfect romantic partner. All it wants to do is serve you, support you and protect you.

All money requires in return is for you to respect and appreciate it by taking good care of it.

In other words, money needs your attention. It needs your understanding. And it needs to feel valued.

Without those, neither a mate nor money will stick around for the long haul.

And as in all relationships, there are good times and bad times.

Bad times are not the time to turn your back, throw in the towel or ignore your finances. At least not if you want to grow old together.

How do you survive the rough patches? Seek professional advice. Ask a lot of questions. Ensure you are positioned to grow and flourish when the tide turns.

It all boils down to this. When money feels your love, you both will live happily ever after.

What are you doing to make sure your money feels your love? Leave me a comment below and let me know.

The Immense Power of Shifting Your Perception

Written by Barbara Huson

“There is another way of looking at the world.” When I read those words in A Course in Miracles (ACIM), I had no idea what a game changer they would be for me.

I realize now, after studying neuroscience, the Course was telling me a profound, but simple, secret to creating miracles AND rewiring your brain.

The secret is this: whenever you’re upset, disturbed or challenged, say to yourself: “There must be another way of seeing this.”

Then consciously and consistently change, or reframe, the way you interpret an event. It makes no difference if it’s true or not.

The moment you start telling yourself a new story, your brain’s wiring will change. And when your brain changes, your world changes miraculously.

Admittedly, reframing can be difficult. I’ve found three techniques that have helped me shift my perception—and, as I’ve only recently understood—reprogram my unhealthy beliefs and behaviors into much healthier ones (which, in itself, is a miracle).

Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

Written by Barbara Huson

I clearly recall interviewing over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women. I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were indeed.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with crippling fear, chronic self-doubt and felt like a fraud, terrified others would find out—The Imposter Syndrome

That was exactly how I felt. But there was a difference between them and me at that time. They didn’t let fear and inadequacy stop them. Their courage inspired me.

In fact, after one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: “Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

Now, decades later, I look at those words and realize I need to add a critical caveat: “But Don’t Forget to Rewire.”

Life Lessons

The Trinity of Trust

Are You a Victim of Financial Abuse? 10 Red Flags

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Has It Clicked Yet?

All the Answers Aren’t ‘Out There’

The Timeless Wisdom of Wealth Creation

How to Have a Legendary Love Affair…with Money

The Immense Power of Shifting Your Perception

Why Your Brain Thinks You’re an Imposter

Meet Barbara Huson

Recent Blog Posts