Years ago, I noticed a puzzling phenomenon. It’s far more prevalent today. I call it the Secret Shame of Successful Women.
Bright, sophisticated professionals, making ample incomes, who have little (if anything) in the bank to show for it.
These women look like the epitome of success—whip smart, business savvy, high earners—yet suffer some degree of financial distress.
They’re either too ashamed to reach out for help (I should be able to do this) or stubbornly resist change when they do (I have no time).
At first it didn’t make sense. You’d think they’d know better, right?
If you can relate, let me reassure you.
First, you’re not alone. Second, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Finally, this has nothing to do with intelligence…or even money.
Financial instability is symptomatic of something far deeper.
The real culprit is all the bottled-up emotions you’ve likely spent a lifetime avoiding.
And what better way to avoid your suppressed pain or trauma (that your inner child still carries) than financial avoidance and the resulting turmoil.
So rather than feel the pain, you create distraction. Unconsciously, of course.
But unless you deal with your repressed emotions, you’ll keep repeating the same dysfunctional behavior. Avoidance, which became your early survival mechanism, has been hard-wired in your brain from continuous repetition.
Years ago, I had a client who, as soon as she paid off a huge debt, was suddenly flooded with scenes of early abuse.
Financial tension had conveniently masked those terrible memories.
I assured her those memories were coming up to be healed and urged her to find a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, which she did right away.
As my former client now admits: facing your pain leads to financial gain. Otherwise your deeply scarred inner child continues running your life, keeping the chaos intact
I’d love to hear from you if you can relate to this blog.
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