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Success Insists: “Toughen Up…But Not Like A Man!”

We women, by nature, tend to be pleasers. We want everyone to be happy with us. Believe me, successful women are no different. Almost all the high earners I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

Yet these women were continually required to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often had negative consequences for other people. The secret to their success: they had to toughen up.

‘Toughening up’ does not mean we have to harden our hearts, numb our senses, or act like men. The women I interviewed taught me four techniques for becoming strong, effective leaders without compromising their feminine nature.

Is Busyness Your Drug of Choice?

Are you achieving the kind of success along with the quality of life you truly desire? If the answer is no, you may be addicted to busynessa condition that’s epidemic among women.

We tend to stuff every cranny of our life with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential as opposed to what’s actually irrelevant.

But ask us to say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down. The truth is, we’ve lost sight of what’s honestly important and truly necessary.

I didn’t realize busyness was my drug of choice until the pandemic when my life slowed down significantly. I’m the first to admit—busyness is a bitch to give up.

Feeling Stuck? Ask Yourself This Compelling Question

I’ve been feeling stuck for a while now. Like I need to make a change, do something different, but what?

This feeling started about 5 years ago. I lost interest in my work, which took me by surprise. I loved what I did, but suddenly my heart wasn’t in it. I kept wondering: what else can I do?

I had no desire to change careers. I definitely wasn’t ready to retire. So I decided to write another book. The research was fun. The writing was challenging but fascinating. The book, Rewire for Wealth,  published last year, has done quite well.

And yet, here I am—still restless…still dissatisfied…still feeling stuck. This time, there’s no book in me.  So I’ve been praying hard: God, show me what to do!

The Motivating Power of Divine Connection

Well, I’ll be darned. An article in The Wall Street Journal declared faith is the key to phenomenal success

A slew of pop singers, pro athletes, and movie stars told a reporter that while talent is important, the “motivating power of divine conviction” is what stacked the odds in their favor.

“Believing that God wants you to be famous,” claimed the article, “actually improves your chance of being famous.”

The Unhealthy Dependency on Self-Imposed Deadlines

I’m making myself crazy. I’ve been doing it for months. Ever since I decided I was ready birth to my next body of work. In a fit of over-zealous optimism, I gave myself till spring to create a brand-new class, complete with a workbook.

Well, spring is quickly coming to a close. Neither the class or the workbook is near completion. Not even close. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—for missing my deadline.

I’m a big believer in setting deadlines. They’re terrific tools for staying on track. But, I’m recognizing, there’s a major downside to made-up deadlines.

The trouble comes when I don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, I scold myself severely for screwing up.

Power is Scary. Let’s Change That!

I’ve long known that women’s difficulties with money have little to do with money per se and everything to do with their fear of power.

In a 2012 study, “Women and the Paradox of Power,” 38% of respondents said they’d rather be well-liked than powerful. As if the two were mutually exclusive.

Our confusion around power should come as no surprise. Historically, girls haven’t been groomed, expected, or encouraged to be successful, powerful adults.

If anything, we were raised to be the power behind the throne, often punished for even aspiring higher.

I’m convinced, beneath our dislike of or discomfort with power, lurks a deeper, more ominous concern—the dire consequences we might suffer if we become truly powerful.

Financial Success as a Spiritual Practice

Are you having trouble making more money or managing it wisely? Is financial lack a constant source of stress and pain? Consider this.

What if you stopped approaching finance as a purely practical process and started treating it as a spiritual practice?

What if, along with learning the practical facts, you focused on developing a deep sense of trust in the inexplicable forces of the Universe, along with learning the practical facts?

In my experience, the moment you inject faith into finances, the instant you invite the Divine into your relationship with the ‘almighty dollar,’ your experience with money grows deeper, richer, and more meaningful. Everything changes.

Financial success becomes a transformational journey, a personal healing, a sacred initiation, empowering you to become all you’re meant to be and to do what you’re put on this planet to do.

Have the Headlines Got You Spooked?

Let me introduce you to Huson’s Law of a Lousy Economy. It goes like this: no matter how tough times are, there’ll always be people who are prospering. Why not you?

I discovered this law after I wrote Secrets of Six-Figure Womenat the height of the dot com boom. But when the bubble finally burst, I called each woman back to see how they were faring

Even as the economy was tanking, many of their careers were thriving. They were finding new jobs, negotiating raises, winning promotions, doubling (even tripling) their client base, making more money than ever before.

“Just because it’s a down time,” said a woman whose coaching business was up 40 percent, “You don’t have to go down with it. There’s lots of opportunity. You’ve just got to find it.”

Inflation: A Reason to Worry….Or A Call to Action?

Even the wealthiest worry about money. Their biggest fear: Inflation.

Inflation is, indeed, a ravenous creature that devours our cash like a caterpillar on a leafslowly, methodically, little bits at a time.

For years, however, inflation has stayed quite low. But that’s rapidly changing. Inflation has hit its highest rate in more than 40 years. And it’s expected to keep escalating.

Is it time to start worrying? Heavens NO! The worst response to climbing costs (or most anything else for that matter) is to go into fear, which tends to have a paralyzing effect.

Instead, look at rising inflation as a resounding call to action…no matter how much or how little money you have.

Getting Past Guilt

There’s an old joke: What do you call a woman who feels no guilt? A man. You may laugh. But sadly it’s true. Studies have confirmed that indeed women suffer significantly more guilt than men.

Guilt, simply put, is feeling as if you’ve done something wrong or bad. Every time you deviate from the norm, from what you ‘should’ do, your Ego goes berserk, using guilt, like a whip, to keep you in check, warning of dreadful consequences if you disobey its rules.

Guilt is self-destructive, immobilizing, a short cut to unhappiness, a hindrance to healing. You know you’re acting from guilt whenever you hear yourself saying I should….

As my dear friend and songwriter, Athena Burke, always says, “Anything that comes after ‘I should’ is a lie.” Our Ego’s lie.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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