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Feather falling into outstretched hand

The Gospel of Rumi 

Yoga class began with the teacher saying, “Hold out your hands to receive something you truly desire.” 

 As we extended our hands, palms up, he softly quoted Rumi: ‘What you seek is seeking you.” 

I, with arms outstretched, stood transfixed. 

What if that were true? What if my desire is heading towards me like a heat seeking missile?)? What if (gasp!) I no longer needed to struggle?

It felt farfetched, but during Downward Dog, I made a decision.  I’m taking Rumi’s words as gospel truth.  

As I sank into Child’s Pose, I remembered a poster that once hung in my office with a quote from Richard Bach: “You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.” Then, in tiny letters: “You may have to work for it, however.” 

My Only Prayer… 

I intended to write on a completely different topic. But as my hands hit the keys, I heard a voice in my head whisper:  If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you…that will be enough.” 

I felt that Meister Eckhart was sending me a message (and maybe you too) which I imagined went like this:  Appreciate the abundance you have….and those who’ve made it possible. That alone will change your life.” 

So today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and a 13th century mystic, I’m taking this opportunity to say Thank You…  

Could You Be Asking the Wrong Question?  

Feeling stuck? Confused? Weighed down with worry?  If you’re like most people, you’re probably asking yourself the wrong question. And wondering why you’re not making progress.

Try this. Stop wondering: “What should I do?  and start asking yourself: “What do I need to let go of?”  

Letting Go is a powerful strategy few people fully appreciate.  When you pinpoint what’s holding you back, and are willing to let it go, miracles occur.  But be warned.  The very thing you need to let go of will be the very thing you’re most afraid to give up.

Here’s an example of what can happen when you ask yourself this powerful question.

Dee called me, desperate to get out of debt. As we talked, it became apparent. Dee’s house was more than she could afford. But she couldn’t bear to let it go.  

Her home was her sanctuary, a quiet retreat, tucked away in a leafy, little village, worlds away a from all the hustle-bustle of the big city. She never locked her doors. Her closest friends were her neighbors. How could she ever let it go?   

Yet it was painfully clear—her best way out of debt was to sell. It broke her heart, but it was the right thing to do. The moment she made the decision to sell, the miracles began.  

She’d just sat down to write a newspaper ad when there was a knock on the door.  A man introduced himself as the father of her next-door neighbor. He wondered if, by any chance, she’d consider selling her house.

Dee’s jaw dropped, but she kept her cool. They closed the deal that very day, for $15,000 above what would’ve been her asking price. And the man paid cash (yes, a big wad of cash, which went to her creditors and the rest into savings)

Dee misses her house, but the relief in her voice was palpable. In fact, she was surprisingly excited about the houses available in her price range.

Let Dee’s experience inspire you.  Letting go creates space for something better to come.  

What do you need to let go of? Are you ready to take the leap and watch what happens? Leave me a comment below.

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Financial Success: A Parable

Once upon a time, a very wise King decided to put a massive boulder in the middle of the road.  

Everyone who walked by simply went around it. No one attempted to move it.  

One day a poor peasant, carrying a load of vegetables, was walking down the road when he came upon the boulder. He put down his load, walked over to the giant rock and tried to push it aside.

It wouldn’t budge. He strained and struggled until finally it moved a bit. He kept at it until, slowly, he was able to shove it out of the way.  

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How Shame Impacts Finances

It was a conversation with a friend I’ll never forget. Her family was dirt poor. Mine was quite wealthy. Our childhoods were starkly different, but we shared a startling similarity.

 

Growing up, we both felt tremendous shame around our family’s finances. I hated being different from my friends. She loathed feeling less than her peers. I never knew if people liked me for me or my rich parents. She always suspected others pitied or looked down on her.

That’s when I realized: Money Shame is ubiquitous regardless of one’s economic status. But it’s not the money (or lack of it) that causes shame. Money simply magnifies the shame we’ve always carried.

Shame is the intense pain of feeling so awful, so flawed, so defective that we’re convinced we’re worthless and unlovable.

 

I believe unhealed shame is perhaps the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially.  Because when shame is triggered, the logical thinking part of our brain virtually shuts down.

The Subtle Art of Self -Sabotage

There’s a line in A Course in Miracles that, long ago, had a big impact on me: “What you share you strengthen.”  

It was when coach gave me an intriguing assignment that the line really came to life for me.  For 2 weeks, I was to simply observe my conversations, without changing a thing. Just notice what I talked about, the words I used, my typical reactions…you know, the stuff I was sharing with others.

What I saw was not pretty.  I was constantly putting myself down, without ever realizing it. I’d dismiss my skills (“Oh, that’s no big deal”). I’d deflect praise (“I thought I was awful”). I’d diminish my successes (“But I could’ve done so much better”).

Trauma—a Curse or a Catalyst?

A recent headline caught my eye. “How Trauma Can Become A Catalyst For Personal Growth.”

The subject of trauma seems to be trending these days. Or maybe I’m noticing it more now because I’ve been cursed by a series of calamities.

Starting in 2020, I’ve watched my mother die, my daughter suffer a painful illness, my best friend’s cancer return, and my 12th surgery in less than 3 years. All during the pandemic! My struggles with anxiety, insomnia, anger, grief, and fear are classic symptoms of PTSD.

10 Signs of Financial Abuse

I am a survivor of abuse. But I swear, at first, it felt like love.

He wanted to take care of me, he said. He paid the bills, managed the investments, balanced my checkbook.  I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Until the lies started. And the gaslighting. He refused to explain why there was no money in the bank, why creditors kept calling, why he yelled about my overspending when I wasn’t, why he quit his job to focus on investing but kept incurring huge losses.

Finally, it hit me. What I regarded as caring and concern was, in truth, a power play to gain control. It was a classic case of Financial Abuse.

At the time, I’d never heard the term. Nor did I realize it was a serious form of domestic violence, which can start off subtly, as in my case, but often escalates to emotional and physical abuse, as it also did in my case.

Today Financial Abuse is on the rise. And it doesn’t just occur in romantic relationships, but with business partnerships, roommates, even parents and adult children.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Pain

Years ago, during a devastating crisis, I saw a quote that struck a nerve: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” 

I felt the deep wisdom in those words. Yet I couldn’t figure out how to apply them to my life. Here I was, facing a crushing divorce from a compulsive liar, a million-dollar tax bill I couldn’t pay, and my parents refusing to help. Left alone to raise 3 young daughters, I was terrified.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered—Is it really possible to find peace in the midst of pain? The answer escaped me…

Until this week…when Katie Adler, a member of my online community, shared an article about Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi, an ancient Japanese philosophy, is all about finding peace and beauty in imperfection. And it offers a simple but practical formula for experiencing pain without suffering:

“Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life.” 

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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