I remember the moment it first happened to me. I was researching my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, learning so much from the savvy women I was interviewing, finally getting a grip on my finances.
When suddenly, Resistance hit…hard! I lost interest in anything financial and, try as I might, couldn’t get past my inertia. So I made an appointment with a therapist.
“I really want to get smart about money,” I cried in desperation. “I really, really do!”
Looking me square in the eye, he calmly responded: “No you don’t!” I couldn’t argue.
Clearly, part of me didn’t want to get smart. I tried hard to ignore that part, afraid it would take over. But in truth, my repression gave it power.
Instead, I got to know that part. The part that was scared of losing everything…that worried about my family’s reaction to me changing…that was terrified if I became financially savvy, a man wouldn’t love me!
As I explored my fears, things changed pretty quickly. It can for you too. The secret is not to fight Resistance or ignore it, but to work with it. Here are 5 steps to Working with Resistance.
- Start by observing your Resistance. Don’t resist your Resistance. Just notice it’s there. Remind yourself it’s actually a good sign, proof you’re changing, going to the next level.
- Then ask yourself questions like: What am I afraid of? What is the payoff for staying where I am? What belief is my Resistance reflecting?
- Create an affirmation, a short statement, declaring what you want as if it’s already yours. Repeat it silently or aloud throughout the day. My favorite: This is so easy.
- Take small steps. In the gym, you build muscles by gradually lifting heavier weights, beginning with 5 lb (not 100 lb) weights, working your way up. Similarly, you overcome Resistance by taking small, easy steps, slowly tackling the more challenging ones over time.
- Get Support. We women are far more relationship oriented than men. We need others to have our backs, hold us accountable, push us in tough times, celebrate our successes. Which is why I created The Wealth Connection, a healing and supportive community of like minded women.
Where are you in Resistance? Leave me a comment below.