The Trauma Trap

She was a high-level executive who hated her job. Her boss was a bully, the work was boring at best, and despite her massive salary, she could barely cover expenses. The thought of leaving terrified her.

I could tell she didn’t expect my first question. 

“What was it like for you growing up?” I asked.

She paused before replying: “My mother was abusive. My father an alcoholic. Money was a huge source of stress. I was always walking on eggshells,”

“It sounds like you’re recreating your childhood in your job,” I pointed out.

“OMG,” she gasped. “I did the same in my marriage.”

She was shocked. I wasn’t.

I’m convinced that unhealed trauma is the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially and personally.   

Trauma has many different faces. Whether you grew up in poverty or partial neglect, lived in a war zone or a home full of fighting, were teased by your peers or belittled by your teachers—stressful experiences become deeply and indelibly tattooed onto your brain.

The neuropathways carved from painful memories become set in cement, causing us to unconsciously recreate the trauma until we heal it.

I urged her to seek therapy.

“Great!” she groaned. “I’ve been in therapy for almost 10 years. So much for that!”

I shared with her how few therapists truly understand the connection between unhealed trauma and current troubles. Moreover, traditional talking therapy doesn’t work.

I gave her the name of a trauma therapist.

If you keep repeating patterns that are eerily similar to previous painful experiences, I recommend you see a therapist specifically trained in trauma therapy, which include EMDR (eye-movement desensitization), IFS (Internal Family Systems), Somatic Therapy, and others.

Healing from trauma is a journey that leads to profound personal and financial freedom. Isn’t it time for you to break free from those stubborn, unhealthy patterns and create a life you truly love?

Comments & Feedback

  • Kaye Williams

    Maybe wildly successful women could set up some kind of fund to help women who suffer in these ways. Women who suffer personally and/or financially are in a hard situation to be able to afford decent therapy. Personally, I’ve been working on my family abuse issues, in therapy, support groups, and on my own, for 30 years. I’ve not dug myself out of the hole, especially with everything else that’s been going on (plandemic, social hardships born of high levels of corruption). 15 years ago I developed a physical health condition. That’s how it’s gone for me I’m now 62. I’m a very strong independent female, being raised that way by my single mom. I’m spent. Please consider voting for Kennedy in 2024 for president. 🙂

  • Markesa Bowers

    I discovered after getting unequally yoked how in hell am having stiff conversations with myself. So I had a the rubber meeting the road awakening! I suppressed traumatic events I didn’t want to deal with or even discuss because in my mind tricking myself out of not understanding it’s toxic and a silent killer in the making of the road of self destruction, self-sabotaging. I have come discovered why I attracted broken, toxic guys because I was so whomp there it’s I was blind as a bat the scales have fallen. I choose life over death forgiving myself dating myself committed to becoming a whole woman holistically unapologetically and at times I stumble but I refuse to be in the wealthiest place. My God ordain purpose future is to bright!! Am getting up!! My daughters are my motivation an my why I must perserve
    quitting is not a option though I have my human moments it’s okay God an therapy is mandatory.

  • Misty

    God can heal anything. Thank you Barbara.

  • Lisa

    I don’t know if it has something to do with resolved trauma, but I felt healed after my nearly 98 year old grandmother died about 1.5 years ago.

    After her death my dad went psycho and threatened to hit my mum’s brother, my mum judged her brother without knowing the whole story and I believe my mother got to play the innocent angel/victim by getting dad to do her dirty work.

    Their true colors came out and everyone finally believed me!!! I felt old enough and wise enough to recognize their toxic traits. I’m not imagining it. I’m the adult now who’s taking care of that child. I’m very aware of them.

  • Karen

    Just got back from my college reunion and realized how much I’ve healed from past trauma while I was there. Barbara, you were the first person to recommend trauma therapy for me, and I’m so grateful I listened.

    A year plus since started, I am more peaceful and grounded than I have ever been in my life and so much happier than I’ve been in quite some time. Thank you Barbara for the recommendation.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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