The Myth of “More”

I have always found myself yearning for more…more money, more success, more sales, more ­­­­______ (fill in the blank).

I proudly considered this constant yearning a healthy sign of a robust ambition. Until I began studying neuroscience and realized how truly unhealthy this kind of thinking actually is.

Here’s why. We literally sculpt our brain by what we dwell on. The more we think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger that neuropathway becomes in our brain.

By constantly hungering for more, I was inadvertently telling my brain “I don’t have enough.” 

The more I repeated that thought, the stronger the “not enough” neuropathway grew, until I’d unconsciously do things that kept reinforcing my experience of ‘not enough.’

Slowly it dawned on me. How can I expect more, if I was repeatedly focused on what I had not yet attained? Clearly, I needed to shift my focus to rewire my brain.

So, I decided to experiment. Every time I felt myself coveting anything, I stopped, took note and shifted into appreciation for what I currently had.

More money? I took a peek at my bank account and gave thanks for the amount presently there. More success? I gratefully reviewed what I’d achieved up to now. The moment the thought creeps in, ‘but it’s not where I want to be…” I stop and refocus on how far I’ve come.

I invite you to join me. What if you shifted to gratitude for what you already have, rather than gazing into the future, longing for more?

I’m not asking you to give up your desires. But I am suggesting that you view your desires through the appreciative lens of how they’ve been at least partially fulfilled.

Then watch what happens. If your experience is like mine, you’re in for a few miracles!

Have you experienced the miracle of gratitude in your life? Tell me about it in the comments below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Lisa

    Hi Barbara,

    I know what you’re referring to. It’s called “the art of havingness” and it’s a more powerful spiritual practice than gratitude! I practice “havingness” in so many different ways.

    I want a tanned colored tote bag. To get this bag, I first need to get my old Donna Karan black one professionally cleaned and repainted while saving for the new one. I appreciate the old one more, and for some reason the second one comes faster. After the second one comes, I feel “done” or complete. I feel like I have plenty and put the money into a different area of my life.

    Same goes for bills. If I feel depleted after paying a bill, I prefer to say “I’m grateful I have the money available to pay for this bill”.

    • barbara huson

      Lisa, I’ve never heard the phrase “the art of havingness,” and I LOVE it. It’s such a powerful concept. Thank you so much for expanding my horizons.

  • Lisa

    The “law” of the “art of havingness” is you can’t be open to having more if you don’t love what you’ve already got. If you get stuck or fixated in “not enoughness”, you can wind up in victim mode.

    Usually residential tax bills cause me to feel like “not enough”. No matter how hard I plan for them, they seem to creep up on me and they’re due this month, not next month! They seem to go up when my salary doesn’t. Once I had to withdraw from my emergency funds to pay for it!

    Oh well, off to the airport to fly to an island now 🏝️ 🛥️ ✈️….

  • barbara huson

    Thanks for giving a name to what I always knew! The law of havingness. LOVE IT!

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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