Want More $uccess? Do the Scary Stuff!

Written by Barbara Huson

Whenever you decide to do something different — whether it’s making money or losing weight—the desired result always lies just outside your Comfort Zone.

The only way you’ll succeed is by stretching beyond what feels comfortable to what may seem impossible.

The stretch carries with it this strict stipulation: Feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.

From this day forward, find ways to stretch on a regular basis.

The stretch is not about eliminating fear. It’s about acting in spite of it. You are training yourself to surpass former limitations.

The Absurdity of Arbitrary Deadlines

Written by Barbara Huson

“Want to make God laugh? Tell Her your plans”–anonymous

There are no accidents, right? Yesterday, I had the same conversation with 3 different people within 24 hours.

They all had a common theme: the absurdity of arbitrary deadlines.

The first was with a friend freaking out over a speech he had to write for Toastmasters. This happened every time he tried to write one. It was making his life miserable. But he refused to quit because, he declared, “I promised myself I’d stick it out for a full year.”

The second was with another friend also freaking out over a coaching program she was dying to do but couldn’t afford. She insisted she had to do it now. “If I don’t figure out this year what I’m really supposed to be doing,” she exclaimed, “I know I’ll never do it.” Did I mention she is 29 years old?

The third was with a first-time writer who’d given herself a year to complete a novel. The date was fast approaching but health problems kept interfering. Instead of cutting herself some slack, she sank into depression. “I feel like a failure,” she kept saying.

In their words, I saw the self inflicted craziness of my own making.

A while back, I gave myself a similar directive —finish my book proposal by the end of the year. Two years later, it’s nowhere close to completion. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—ever since.

(Warning: Self flagellation does not further the creative process!)

Don’t get me wrong. Deadlines are a useful tool to keep us on track.

The trouble comes when we don’t meet them. Rather than rethinking the timing, we tenaciously cling to our commitment or brutally reproach ourselves for screwing up.

What if I started seeing things differently? Perhaps there’s a reason I’ve not finished my proposal. Perhaps the timing will turn out to be perfect. Only in hind sight can I possibly know what’s actually in my own best interest.

As today’s Abraham Hicks quote reminded me (no accident again!), “Life is supposed to be fun…If you are doing it for any other reason, then you are not connecting to your Source Energy.”

There and then, I made a decision.

From now on, if I’m feeling stuck, if doors stay closed, if nothing flows freely and it ceases to be fun, I’m viewing these as indicators that it’s time to surrender rather than doggedly pursuing a rigid decision.

It all boils down to this: Would I rather live with the tranquility of trusting a Higher Source or tolerate the stress of self-imposed pressure? Duh!!!

5 Words Say it All…

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m flipping through the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve no idea what the article was about. But the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused…”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to mega financial success.

Those 5 words mark the major distinction between an Underearner and a High Earner.

Those 5 words capture the very essence of what it takes to achieve Greatness.

And for anyone who’s struggling to make ends meet, or live their dream, I say heed those 5 words.

I’m convinced these 5 words offer the key to not just surviving, but thriving, in this new economic paradigm.

This may sound weird, but I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I understand why so many with far more skills than I often feel stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted or multi-gifted. But if you want my advice–prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, financial success will go to the focused.

Do you agree? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Please leave me a comment below!

STOPPING The Oh-So-Subtle Self–Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

In my previous post, I played true confessions. I fessed up that, years ago, I constantly put myself down…without really knowing it!

I have a hunch many of you do the same. And believe me, self depreciation is a subtle but serious form of self sabotage.

I’d like to share what I did to stop. It wasn’t easy. I’m far from perfect. But success is so much easier since I curtailed my self-criticism and began acknowledging my value.

Here’s my 3-point plan to Stop Self Criticism—Observe; Brag; Find Spotters.

I started by observing my conversations. Every time I heard me belittling myself, I stopped. Literally stopped, mid-sentence, and force myself to say something positive…even if it was just ‘thank you.’
I started bragging (thanks to Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts). I mean, I actually prefaced sentences with “I brag…” and then tooted my own horn.
I shared my goal with a few close friends, asking them to spot me by pointing out my more subtle put-downs. They had no trouble catching me in the act. Their feedback was quite effective.

Admittedly, these steps, at first, felt ridiculously uncomfortable, completely awkward. But gradually, I began to notice something. My self-derision all but disappeared. And I felt much better about myself.

I’m here to say, I swear it’s true–what you share, you definitely strengthen. Please leave a comment below on how these steps support you in achieving greatness.

The Talk!

Written by Barbara Huson

I think it’s time we have The Talk. Don’t you? You know, the one about the Legacy you wish to leave. It’s a subject that deserves serious thought.

Leaving a Legacy is how you achieve Greatness. It goes right to the core of why you’re here and the mark you wish to make on the world you leave behind.

Some of you know exactly what it is. Mine, of course, is that there are a lot more financially empowered women running this country as a result of my work. And a lot fewer abused women who can’t afford to leave their abuser.

But many of you may be scratching your heads, wondering, ‘huh, what’s mine?’

Your legacy doesn’t need to light up the sky. It could be the tiniest footprint in the sand. All that matters: your legacy reflects your purpose fulfilled.

Need help? Try this exercise.

Imagine that it’s far in the future. You are lying on your deathbed. You’ve lead a long and meaningful life, but it’s now drawing to a close. As you lie there, you begin to review your past. What gave you the most satisfaction, outside of your family, to know this is what you’ll be remembered for? It need not be limited to one thing, either.

Once you pinpoint what it is, come back to this moment. Then ask yourself: What can I do right now that will contribute to the legacy I wish to leave?

Please share below by leaving a comment…I can’t wait to hear your insights.

Wanna Find True Power?

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve been blogging about Sacred Success for almost a year. My purpose: to show you how to create Affluence—in a way that is meaningful to you and beneficial to others—by doing what you were put on this planet to do.

In review, Sacred Success unfolds in 4 Stages:

Stage #1: responding to the Call to Greatness
Stage #2: receiving consciously, surrendering to what is
Stage #3: pursuing your highest purpose by exercising discipline.

We’re now at the 4^th and final stage: leaving a legacy by modeling Greatness.

The truth is, we are always modeling something: either Greatness or Mediocrity (often disguised as Grandiosity).

Most people, as you can guess, are modeling Mediocrity. Why? Because it’s easy. All you have to do is stay in your comfort zone. But to model Greatness, you must recognize your value, live your Purpose , leap into the unknown, let your light shine, and leave your mark on the world.

This 4^th stage is where Real Power lies. I believe when enough Enlightened Women, (along with enlightened Men) come together to model Greatness, our collective legacies will change the world, heal this planet. It all starts with each one of us.

Have you thought about the legacy you wish to leave?

Need help? I’ll share some tips in my next blog.

Until then leave a comment below about which stage in Sacred Success you are navigating right now.

My Last Ditty on Discipline (at least for now)

Written by Barbara Huson

I wonder if we women aren’t lacking a gene that makes this form of discipline especially difficult. The final technique, Strategic thinking, means keeping one eye on your higher purpose without taking the other off the bottom line.

Men seem much savvier at strategic thinking. Women, in their eagerness to give back to their community or give birth to their dreams, often neglect this critical step.

To think strategically, you must constantly link your Big Vision to the costs of doing business, connect your mission statement to the profit/loss statement.

One woman explained it this way: “Connect everything with the numbers. To be a successful business woman, you have to strategize all the time on how to make the numbers work.”

And another, a business owner “The secret to a million dollars is continuously reevaluating the expenses to run a lean, mean business.”

And still another: “Once you know where the profit is, it’s just a matter of multiplying how many widgets you need to sell.”

Basically, strategic thinking involves:

figuring out the costs to do business
cutting losses when something wasn’t working
designing effective structures and systems
daily strategizing and yearly long term planning

Strategic thinking did not come easily to many of these women.

“This is not my nature,” said a former journalist, “I’m a writer. It was something I had to learn. No matter how passionate you are, you have to have business savvy.”

You can learn to think strategically by reading books, taking classes, talking to others, and/or consulting with professionals in or outside your industry.

I find strategic thinking is best done with others. My advice for tackling this technique– form a Strategic Task Force. Invite people (anywhere from 1 to 10) you trust, respect, and admire. Meet with them regularly to help you stay on track strategically or contact them when you need strategic solutions to problematic situations.

Please comment on your experience with strategic thinking. This is definitely something I want to learn more about!

It’s Time to Get Tough!

Written by Barbara Huson

Listen up, ladies. We need to talk. We’re still on the ‘D’ word. But now we’re getting to the nitty gritty. This form of Discipline is what separates the women from the girls. This is where the rubber meets the road. This is, in short, the BIG SECRET to SACRED SUCCESS.

And I got it straight from the mouths of women who make millions. If you wanna play a bigger game, you gotta toughen up! That means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By nature, we women want everyone to be happy with us. Successful women are no different. Almost all I interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

“You have to do the hard stuff,” said one mega high earner. That ‘hard stuff’ included firing employees, ending partnerships, holding tight during demanding negotiations, enforcing an unpopular policy, firing high paying clients, even enduring multiple rejections and disappointments.

In fact, virtually all the women I interviewed told me that their biggest regret was not making tough decisions sooner.

‘Toughening up’ didn’t mean these women had to harden their hearts, numb their senses, or go all macho. It did mean a dramatic shift in their mindset.

The shift sounds like this: ‘I’d rather be respected than liked.’

As one woman told me: “I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions. But I learned, you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

The recognition that earning respect is more important than gaining approval was what one woman described as a “watershed moment.” It definitely was life-changing for me…and liberating.

This one shift in thinking– ‘I’d rather be respected than liked’ –means developing a “rhinoceroses hide” while keeping an open heart. This is precisely how we’ll become strong, effective leaders without compromising our feminine nature. This is what will allow us to be powerful without being punitive, forthright without being unfeeling, responsible without being ruthless.

Where do you need to toughen up? If you’re like me, I bet it’s not just at work, but on the home front too. Leave a comment below about what “toughening up” looks like in your life.

Some Denial is Good For the Soul!

Written by Barbara Huson

“Forgetting what you are not enables you to remember what you are”

-A Course in Miracle

I sometimes wonder if we’re hardwired to hate discipline. I think exercising discipline is to adults what eating veggies are to kids… we do it because it’s good for us. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it!! And we’ll try anything to get out of it!

It wasn’t until my interviews with women who make millions that I had a stunning realization. The key to disciplined action is disciplined thinking.

When I shifted my focus from making myself do something to monitoring my thoughts, my behavior changed (almost) automatically.

I started using a technique I call Constructive Denial. That meant I began consciously and deliberately denying any limiting beliefs, irrational fears or feelings of inferiority about how small, inadequate or inconsequential I was. As a Course in Miracles explains: “Denial is as capable of being used positively as well as negatively.”

For instance, when that voice in my head says (as it often does) “you don’t have what it takes to do that!” instead of caving in, I come back with, “Thanks for sharing, but I absolutely DO have what it takes.” That one retort dramatically reduces my resistance to taking action.

That’s what these successful women told me they did. They carefully observed their conversations (internal and external), making sure they didn’t lapse into—or catching themselves when they did—automatic self depreciatory or negative patterns.

As a long time mega earner explained to me, “You have to remind yourself: I’m OK. I have strengths. It’s hard. But you have to!”

They made themselves focus on their strengths and successes, talk about their achievements, and reaffirm their value to themselves. They were constantly giving themselves pep talks, and repeating positive affirmations.

I found a terrific affirmation in a fabulous book called The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel: “I am that which I will to be.” When I feel stuck, scared or small, I repeat that phrase, followed by “I have everything it takes to be a stellar success,” or “I am bursting with creative ideas for my next blog”. Then I act as if it’s true. It may seem contrived. But it actually works.

I suspect a lot of you do the same thing. Share your affirmations by adding a comment below.

Ouch! I fell off the Train.

Written by Barbara Huson

Oh, the irony of it all.

I haven’t blogged in awhile. And I’ve got a good reason—I’ve been really busy. I mean, I was preparing for my first Sacred Success Retreat. I had house guests visiting. I flew to California for my grandson’s 6th birthday. Yada, yada, yada…..

But you wanna know the real truth? I went oblivious to what I’d been blogging about—DISCIPLINE. I wasn’t making myself do what I needed to do, when I needed to do it….because I bought into my excuses. I actually believed them!!

Excuses are to discipline what cheating is to diets…a sure fire way to undermine your success by letting yourself off the hook.

And we all do it. We make a commitment. Stuff comes up. We get side tracked. It comes with the territory. Discipline isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being persistent.

As of today, I’m making it official. I’m getting back on the Discipline Train. And I’m inviting any of you who’ve fallen off (you know who you are!) to join me.

What that means to me is that I’m back to writing regular blogs. I’d love to hear what it means for you.

Blog

Want More $uccess? Do the Scary Stuff!

The Absurdity of Arbitrary Deadlines

5 Words Say it All…

STOPPING The Oh-So-Subtle Self–Sabotage

The Talk!

Wanna Find True Power?

My Last Ditty on Discipline (at least for now)

It’s Time to Get Tough!

Some Denial is Good For the Soul!

Ouch! I fell off the Train.

Meet Barbara Huson

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