Power is Scary. Let’s Change That!

I’ve long known that women’s difficulties with money have little to do with money per se and everything to do with their fear of power.

In a 2012 study, “Women and the Paradox of Power,” 38% of respondents said they’d rather be well-liked than powerful. As if the two were mutually exclusive.

Our confusion around power should come as no surprise. Historically, girls haven’t been groomed, expected, or encouraged to be successful, powerful adults.

If anything, we were raised to be the power behind the throne, often punished for even aspiring higher.

I’m convinced, beneath our dislike of or discomfort with power, lurks a deeper, more ominous concern—the dire consequences we might suffer if we become truly powerful.

Historical narratives of strong, assertive, outspoken women being harshly punished, even burned at the stake, have permeated our collective unconscious.

Somewhere along the way, financial incompetence became a safe house of sorts, granting us protection and, oddly enough, security. Think about it.

There’s no better way to limit our power than by lowering our earning potential or by mishandling, neglecting, or ignoring our money.

Our feminine psyche, operating like a highly sensitive sonar system, emits subtle warnings, inexplicable waves of trepidation, when we get too close to rocking the boat. To avoid making waves, we water ourselves down.

Isn’t it time we start cultivating female clout, exercising our power in a positive, authentic way, on our own terms?

Let’s start by redefining power using the words of renowned psychologist Eric Fromm: The main task in life is to give birth to our self to become what we actually are.”

When you view power from that angle, you begin to understand our resistance more clearly. Essentially, our fear of power is our fear of becoming who we really are.

This fear keeps us settling for less instead of striving for more, shrinking to fit rather than playing full out, clinging to safety to avoid taking the leap.

Money does not give us power. But it does give us choices. Our power comes from the choices we make, choices that reflect who we are, not who or what someone else wants; choices that accelerate our growth, not placate others.

What can you do today to start living more authentically and powerfully? Leave me a comment below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Lisa

    Beautifully expressed, Barbara! ❤️

    I personally feel there’s no better way to be an authentic, genuine, truly free and caring citizen, while retaining some individuality in your relationship without disappearing or becoming a co-dependent by managing your own money!

    This way, you’re not living at the mercy of a phony organization , the government, your partner or trying to befriend someone in hope that you can secretly market them something or get something from them, because you desperately need easy, fast money for your survival or to enable a codependent so they won’t abandon you! I only want to befriend people because I genuinely want to and have people come to me, because I have a service they could benefit from. I don’t want to chase people or spend time with people in hope for money or a sale.

    What can you do today to start living more powerfully and authentically? Some people like to do yoga and meditation, but I personally just like to day dream. It makes me feel so well and helps me get back in touch with myself and what I authentically desire! A few of my wild day dreams have come true!I also like having the money or power to purchase products that do good! I don’t want to purchase that cheap slab of cake from Safeway that’s riddled with preservatives, I want the organic muffins 🧁 from the bakery!

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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