If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

She had just separated from her husband, moved to a new town and was trying to restart the coaching business she’d put on hold.

Yet she kept procrastinating doing the things she needed to do.

“I feel stuck,” she sighed. “Like I hit a brick wall.”

“You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.”

I spoke from experience. I remember, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco, a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I sank into a confusing funk. This wasn’t what I expected.

That’s when I read Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges and understood what was happening. A transition is a gradual psychological process of reorienting to the new situation.

Primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Members were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” Bridges writes, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.”

The wilderness is full of uncertainty, indecision, confusion, disorientation, vacillation–all a vital part of the reorientation process.

The ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. Or take decisive action. Or even make plans.

It is a time to feel our feelings, grieve our losses, practice self-care and, like the primitives, commune with our spirit guides.

We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

“The more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty,” I told my client, “the quicker you will get through it.”

Eventually, I assured her, your energy will return. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

How have you successfully navigated transitions in your life? Leave me a comment below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Grace Belmonte

    Wow Barb! Did this ever come at a good time. “You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.” Perfect! Thank you for sharing…

  • Barbara Simon

    I actually did go out into the wilderness, get disoriented, seek help from my inner guides. Twice I’ve done a Native American Vision Quest with a wise experienced guide who helped me through the three basic rituals. Amazing results. Ask for more info if you are interested.

    • barbara huson

      I agree Barbara…there’s nothing like actually going out in the real wilderness. It definitely speeds up the process. I’ve also done a a Vision Quest and they are phenomenal!!!

  • Lisa

    I’ve moved country 3 times, so that was definitely a transition.

    Without getting too wordy, there will be moments where you think to yourself “what have I done? ” and moments of emptiness. You leave a lot of valuable connections behind.

    You wouldn’t want to unhook from the past immediately – it’s a weening process and the past teaches us lessons, but you need to get out of your comfort zone a little bit more and try something new.

    I tell myself a little lie that if I hate it, in 6 months I can always go back. Usually by that time I’m starting to enjoy life again.

    Self care is key. Having certain healthy rituals that don’t change no matter what’s going on feels nice.

    • barbara huson

      Lisa, this was soooooo beautifully expressed! And so powerful. My favorite…”it’s a weaning process and the past teaches us lessons…” Amen to that!!!

  • Lisa

    Lol – I meant weaning not weening. I can’t spell!!

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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