Giving is Good, Right? That Depends….

Do you know what today is? National Give Something Away Day. Which got me thinking about giving. We women have been groomed to be Givers. And Giving is good, right? Well, that depends…

There are two kinds of Giving. One empowers. The other weakens. The latter–which I call Giving ‘Til It Hurts—is what’s been expected of women for generations. Sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others.

Giving ‘Til It Hurts provides the illusion of being needed, important, powerful. But self-denial is, in fact, an abdication of power, leaving you exhausted, resentful and depressed, often crippling the receivers, robbing them of their self-esteem or sense of sovereignty.

Powerful Giving, on the other hand, is what I call Giving With Boundaries. This means giving to yourself first, with love, not guilt, refusing to do anything that sucks you dry or leaves you cold.
This may seem appallingly selfish, but as George Sand once wrote: “Nothing resembles selfishness more closely than self-respect.” 

Self-respect allows you to give to others in ways that uplifts them and replenishes you, filling your life with meaning, while enriching theirs. When giving empowers, both parties win.

As I mentioned, I’ve been thinking a lot about Giving (Powerfully), playing with ideas that would be mutually beneficial for all involved.

Those who know me well know that doing videos terrifies me…almost as much as my upcoming eye surgery! I do not exaggerate.

Staring into a blank screen, seeing only myself, talking into the void, makes me painfully self-conscious. I can feel my throat constrict just thinking about it.

But I know that growth comes from doing what you fear. And I feel very strongly called to do this. So I’m jumping in with both feet. And I’d love your help. 

Please join me live. Or let me know what questions you have about creating wealth. Where do you need guidance? What stops you from achieving financial success?

Add your questions to the comments below.

Comments & Feedback

  • RF

    Bravo, Barbara for walking into your fear! You are, as ever, so inspiring!
    I would love a video book group-maybe even starting from the beginning -your first book? Your last? A place for your loyal followers to grow together consistently?

    • barbara huson

      what an interesting idea, RF…can you say some more about how you see a video book group? And deep appreciation for your kind words!

  • Eva

    What stops you from achieving financial success?
    dear Barbara,
    What stops me from earning more is the fact that I love my profession, and I seem to cling to it. I touch people, one to one. This is a limit. Even in Corona times I was reluctant to invent an online product instead. I really think, touch cannot be replaced by anything, and it is sth I’m really good at. I’m not totally unsuccessful financially, but I see that working one on one won’t bring me millions. … maybe it’s just an excuse for laziness or resistance to try sth else… ?
    best wishes to you
    PS: Kudos to you for making that video although it scares you!

    • Lisa

      Hello Eva,

      I feel very happy for people who love their profession! My college professor once taught me that if everyone did a job they loved and gave time to a charity, the world would be a much better place. I think it not only affects our life, but the lives around us. I love working with people who love doing their job.

      As for me , I am not concerned about earning millions or billions. I am concerned about getting what I truly desire and working out what I have to do to fund what I desire. Please share what you do so that we can see what advice Barbara might have to grow your business further.

      • barbara huson

        I agree with you, Lisa…it’s wonderful (and rare) when people LOVE what they do. But there was something in Eva’s post that suggested some kind of yearning for more…I wonder if it’s just money she’s referring to. I hope she replies too!

  • barbara huson

    Thanks Eva, for responding to my plea for help (and for the kudos!). I would love to respond to your problem, but I need more information. What do you do?? I know there are always more than two options. I wonder if you took the blinders off, you’d discover ways to still have the personal interactions and also make more money. I’d love to hear from you.

  • Lisa


    I found this article emotionally evoking. I have an old friend who is a CHRONIC giver! From giving without boundaries her health has become shattered, her finances are now ruined and her whole cheerful demeanour has changed. She’s depressed, irritable, rude and sometimes obviously jealous of what other people have. Other people’s problems come before her dreams and goals, yet these people she rescues seem to achieve their dreams.

    I know why she does this. She’s afraid of being alone or abandoned. She believes if she does things for people, then she’s needed and if she’s needed they’re not going anywhere. Someone she helps doesn’t seem to know how to do things for himself and I think she likes it. I think it started with her alcoholic mother. If she gave to her mother, her mother would be nice to her for 5 minutes and if she didn’t she’d be called a “little bitch”. Awful!

    Good for your for starting a video series. I appear on television about once-a-month. Because I’m an introvert, I find it weird to talking to a camera. I cope by either pretending the camera is not there, it’s a game, or I’m talking to a friend.

    My question is: if your dream job is your side hustle, what kind of things can you do to supplement your income?

    • barbara huson

      Oh Lisa, my heart goes out to your friend. She’s suffered so much trauma…I wish she’d seek help. And thanks for your encouragement with my videos…I’m going to try pretending the camera is actually a friend! Good idea. As for your question…to supplement my income, I’d expand my dream job from a side hustle to a full time gig. Seems obvious to me. Am I missing something?

      • Lisa


        Thanks for your response!

        My friend received help many years ago just before I met her, and it transformed her into an awesome person who was a delight to be around. Something got triggered again when she went met her current partner. I very much see the master slave relationship that went on between her and her mother with her partner.

        I have invested a lot of money and time and taken many risks to turn my side hustle into a full time career, however it didn’t work. I feel very energized by my side hustle, however my corporate job has really provided for me. I’d be interested to hear any tips you might have.

        As for the videos, will they also be published to YouTube? I can’t be on Facebook or Instagram, however I do watch YouTube and I believe you might be able to monetize your videos, too!

  • Maria Wynen

    Hi Barbara, thanks for the George Sands quote – I’ve made it my desktop background for a while as it speaks to my chronic over-giving. And if there were ever a warning lesson in what can happen long-term, I’ve just read about Lisa’s friend, so that’s a good wake-up call for me. Thanks for sharing, Lisa.
    What stops me from achieving financial success? Absence of a good role model partly – financial messages from childhood were “not enough”, “make do” and be frugal. While that was necessary at the time, I recognise this is my default thinking even now. I feel I need to create a positive vision to gjve my mind another option to work towards but just now, my imagination has run dry!
    From my perspective, watching your videos is like visiting with a friend (although we’ve never met!). Had you thought about attaching some photos to the camera somehow so when you face it, it might feel like you are talking to friendly faces? Best wishes with the next video session 🙂

    • Lisa


      Thank you for reading about my friend. I am devastated. I feel like like I have lost someone who was so inspiring. We can’t go on walks together anymore when I see her, because she can’t walk anymore ! 🙁

      Please do a few things every day that is good for yourself! I religiously start my day with two glasses of Evian water and several vitamin tablets before I do anything. It’s easy, and it sets the day off right.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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