Life Lessons

Could You Be Asking the Wrong Question?  

Feeling stuck? Confused? Weighed down with worry?  If you’re like most people, you’re probably asking yourself the wrong question. And wondering why you’re not making progress.

Try this. Stop wondering: “What should I do?  and start asking yourself: “What do I need to let go of?”  

Letting Go is a powerful strategy few people fully appreciate.  When you pinpoint what’s holding you back, and are willing to let it go, miracles occur.  But be warned.  The very thing you need to let go of will be the very thing you’re most afraid to give up.

Here’s an example of what can happen when you ask yourself this powerful question.

Dee called me, desperate to get out of debt. As we talked, it became apparent. Dee’s house was more than she could afford. But she couldn’t bear to let it go.  

Her home was her sanctuary, a quiet retreat, tucked away in a leafy, little village, worlds away a from all the hustle-bustle of the big city. She never locked her doors. Her closest friends were her neighbors. How could she ever let it go?   

Yet it was painfully clear—her best way out of debt was to sell. It broke her heart, but it was the right thing to do. The moment she made the decision to sell, the miracles began.  

She’d just sat down to write a newspaper ad when there was a knock on the door.  A man introduced himself as the father of her next-door neighbor. He wondered if, by any chance, she’d consider selling her house.

Dee’s jaw dropped, but she kept her cool. They closed the deal that very day, for $15,000 above what would’ve been her asking price. And the man paid cash (yes, a big wad of cash, which went to her creditors and the rest into savings)

Dee misses her house, but the relief in her voice was palpable. In fact, she was surprisingly excited about the houses available in her price range.

Let Dee’s experience inspire you.  Letting go creates space for something better to come.  

What do you need to let go of? Are you ready to take the leap and watch what happens? Leave me a comment below.

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Financial Success: A Parable

Once upon a time, a very wise King decided to put a massive boulder in the middle of the road.  

Everyone who walked by simply went around it. No one attempted to move it.  

One day a poor peasant, carrying a load of vegetables, was walking down the road when he came upon the boulder. He put down his load, walked over to the giant rock and tried to push it aside.

It wouldn’t budge. He strained and struggled until finally it moved a bit. He kept at it until, slowly, he was able to shove it out of the way.  

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How Shame Impacts Finances

It was a conversation with a friend I’ll never forget. Her family was dirt poor. Mine was quite wealthy. Our childhoods were starkly different, but we shared a startling similarity.


Growing up, we both felt tremendous shame around our family’s finances. I hated being different from my friends. She loathed feeling less than her peers. I never knew if people liked me for me or my rich parents. She always suspected others pitied or looked down on her.

That’s when I realized: Money Shame is ubiquitous regardless of one’s economic status. But it’s not the money (or lack of it) that causes shame. Money simply magnifies the shame we’ve always carried.

Shame is the intense pain of feeling so awful, so flawed, so defective that we’re convinced we’re worthless and unlovable.


I believe unhealed shame is perhaps the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially.  Because when shame is triggered, the logical thinking part of our brain virtually shuts down.

Trauma—a Curse or a Catalyst?

A recent headline caught my eye. “How Trauma Can Become A Catalyst For Personal Growth.”

The subject of trauma seems to be trending these days. Or maybe I’m noticing it more now because I’ve been cursed by a series of calamities.

Starting in 2020, I’ve watched my mother die, my daughter suffer a painful illness, my best friend’s cancer return, and my 12th surgery in less than 3 years. All during the pandemic! My struggles with anxiety, insomnia, anger, grief, and fear are classic symptoms of PTSD.

10 Signs of Financial Abuse

I am a survivor of abuse. But I swear, at first, it felt like love.

He wanted to take care of me, he said. He paid the bills, managed the investments, balanced my checkbook.  I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Until the lies started. And the gaslighting. He refused to explain why there was no money in the bank, why creditors kept calling, why he yelled about my overspending when I wasn’t, why he quit his job to focus on investing but kept incurring huge losses.

Finally, it hit me. What I regarded as caring and concern was, in truth, a power play to gain control. It was a classic case of Financial Abuse.

At the time, I’d never heard the term. Nor did I realize it was a serious form of domestic violence, which can start off subtly, as in my case, but often escalates to emotional and physical abuse, as it also did in my case.

Today Financial Abuse is on the rise. And it doesn’t just occur in romantic relationships, but with business partnerships, roommates, even parents and adult children.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Pain

Years ago, during a devastating crisis, I saw a quote that struck a nerve: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” 

I felt the deep wisdom in those words. Yet I couldn’t figure out how to apply them to my life. Here I was, facing a crushing divorce from a compulsive liar, a million-dollar tax bill I couldn’t pay, and my parents refusing to help. Left alone to raise 3 young daughters, I was terrified.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered—Is it really possible to find peace in the midst of pain? The answer escaped me…

Until this week…when Katie Adler, a member of my online community, shared an article about Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi, an ancient Japanese philosophy, is all about finding peace and beauty in imperfection. And it offers a simple but practical formula for experiencing pain without suffering:

“Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life.” 

What if Your Money Problems Aren’t Actually About Money?

She was smart, successful, making good money…yet was at her wits end.

“There are periods when I manage to save a lot,” she told me. “But then I start overspending and ignoring my money. It’s like I can’t help it.”

Even after years of taking financial workshops, reading money books, doing personal growth work, she felt stuck in a frustrating pattern that was taking a toll on her health and her happiness.

“It feels like a vicious cycle I can’t get off,” she moaned.

She couldn’t stop because she didn’t have a money problem. She had a Money Disorder. There’s a big difference.

A Money Disorder is a chronic, self-destructive pattern caused by unconscious beliefs that cause dysfunctional behaviors associated with money.

Money Disorders, left untreated, can ruin your quality of life, wreck your relationships, destroy your peace of mind, leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless.

The Question is: How do you know if your difficulties with money are actually a more serious disorder?

According to an online article titled: 15 Fascinating Signs You May Have a Money Disorder, these are the classic symptoms:

  1. You can’t define what having ‘enough’ money means.
  2. You keep credit cards and bank account info from your partner.
  3. You keep piling on.
  4. You avoid spending money at all costs.
  5. You use money as a way to fill a void.
  6. You’re living in extremes.
  7. Your life is in chaos as a result of your spending habits.
  8. You’re in denial about your debts.
  9. You’re a workaholic.
  10. You’re a pathological gambler.
  11. Having money makes you feel guilty.
  12. You find it hard to say no when people ask for money.
  13. You give people money even if you know you’re enabling their poor financial choices.
  14. You lie to your partner about how much you spend.
  15. You refuse to talk about money at all.

If you have even one of these signs, the culprit is not financial, but as the article explains, it’s an “emotional and spiritual imbalance” which requires deeper, emotional healing with a skillful therapist.

I recommend working with someone who specializes in trauma therapy or joining a support group like my online community, The Wealth Connection.

To read the full article, click HERE.

How would you rate your relationship with money— a problem or a money disorder? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

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A Master Class in Wealth Creation…Based on Kick-Ass Quotes

I love quotes. These tiny bits of timeless wisdom convey vast amounts of knowledge in a mere sentence or two.

This week, I’ve boiled down the secrets to successful investing into a series of pithy expert sayings. Consider it a Master Class in wealth creation.

Let’s start with economist Jeremy Siegel, “Fear incites human action far more urgently than does the impressive weight of historical evidence.” 

Financial decisions made from fear (vs knowledge) never turn out well. As history reveals, after every crash, the market eventually surges. Yet fear has us selling at a loss, missing future gains.

According to wealthy industrialist J. Paul Getty, fear can be a buy signal. “Buy when everyone else is selling and hold until everyone else is buying.”

That’s not just a catchy slogan. It’s the very essence of successful investing.

Baron Rothschild was even more succinct: “The time to buy is when there’s blood in the streets.”

Our biggest risk is not the market tanking, but our emotional reaction.

As acclaimed investor Benjamin Graham pointed out: “The investor’s chief problem — and even his worst enemy — is likely to be himself.”

The Myth of “More”

I have always found myself yearning for more…more money, more success, more sales, more ­­­­______ (fill in the blank).

I proudly considered this constant yearning a healthy sign of a robust ambition. Until I began studying neuroscience and realized how truly unhealthy this kind of thinking actually is.

Here’s why. We literally sculpt our brain by what we dwell on. The more we think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger that neuropathway becomes in our brain.

By constantly hungering for more, I was inadvertently telling my brain “I don’t have enough.” 

The more I repeated that thought, the stronger the “not enough” neuropathway grew, until I’d unconsciously do things that kept reinforcing my experience of ‘not enough.’

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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