Life Lessons

A Sure-Fire Way to Increase Your Self Worth

I always asked High Earners: “Are you doing what you’re doing for the money?” No, they insisted, quite vehemently. They were driven by the  passion, by the challenge, by the recognition. But not money.

Yet, in the next breath, they all said the same thing. “But I damn well want to be well compensated…because I know I’m worth it!”

Where did their strong sense of self-worth come from, I initially wondered? As a chronic underearner, I wanted what they had. The answer soon became stunningly clear.

They had a simple strategy. Whenever they were asked to do something, whenever an opportunity arose, if their reaction wasn’t a strong ‘Hell Yes!’ it was clearly a “Hell No!”

These women each told me that, initially, they were afraid to speak up and tell the truth. But they forced themselves to ask for what they wanted, just as they said ‘no’ to what they didn’t want.

This simple (but scary) act was the secret to their financial success. Here’s why:

  • Asking for more is an act of self-love.
  • Saying no is a statement of self-respect.
  • Refusing to settle is a show of self-esteem.
  • And walking away is a sign of self-trust.

Whenever you stand up for what you want, whenever you refuse to take less than you deserve, your life will begin to change, sometimes dramatically.

You’ll also notice a shift in how you feel about yourself. Speaking up becomes not something you should do, but something you have to do – because you know in your heart you’re worth it.

Where do you need to start speaking up? Tell me about it in the comments below.

The Poem That Forever Changed My Financial Life

I was leafing through some old files when I found a poem from a lifetime ago. Instantly, a rush of painful memories flooded my brain.

My life was in shambles. My husband’s gambling was out of control. The ATM kept insisting we had no money. I hated myself for being so helpless.

I prayed constantly, begging God to do something—just as I begged my husband to stop gambling. Both ignored me.

Until the day an envelope came in the mail, with no return address. Inside was a poem—no title, neatly typed, all caps, on crisp white paper. I read it and gasped.

The message was obvious. And terrifying. Spirit was telling me what I had to do—face my fear head on.

Having a Hard Time Saving and Investing? Let Me Make It Super Easy!!!

After my divorce from the gambling husband and after I paid the outrageous tax bills, my nest egg was almost depleted. But I had a few properties that paid rent every month.

One of the first things I did, when that rent came in, before I spent a cent, I immediately put a portion of it into savings. Otherwise, I knew I’d spend it all.

And I did it automatically. It was so simple. I filled out a form and the bank automatically transferred money from my checking account to savings. The amount was small at first, but it added up quickly. I didn’t even have to think about it.

Automating gave me discipline without having to work at it. It’s easy to say that you’ll move money monthly into savings. In practice, however, it just doesn’t happen. You forget. You overspend, You have a hundred excuses.

But by automating, you don’t miss what you don’t see. This was the beginning of my creating really good financial habits—habits I still practice today.

Another (Better) Way to View Market Volatility

The market’s looking pretty scary these days, right? But honestly, it’s not the turbulence that will get you in trouble. It’s your emotional reaction to it.

Studies show that most investors, regardless of gender, tend to act on emotion, instead of rational thinking, when making financial decisions.

When markets take a tumble, our emotions, especially fear, take over, and we abandon ship, suffering losses.

The emotional reaction also happens in reverse. When the market is on a big run, there’s a tendency to take on too much risk and follow the herd, like so many did during the dot com and real estate booms.

May I suggest another way to view this volatility? Heed the advice of my favorite Wall Street Journal columnist, Jason Zweig: Be thankful that stocks are going down.

A Pep Talk For a Plunging Market

What do you do when the market has more stomach-churning dips than a roller coaster?  Like now!

Obey the rule of the roller coaster: You only get hurt when you jump off Same with the market. You only lose money when you sell.

So what do you do when the market plunges? Follow the sage advice from investment firm, Ellevest, in their newsletter What the Elle.

Do Nothing.

As Sylvia Kwan, Ellevest’s Chief Investment Officer, explains: “Over the past 93 years, the stock market has gone up by an average of nearly 10 percent a year. But it didn’t go straight up!”

Indeed, markets always do what markets do: bounce around wildly. Like now.

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Get Rid of Imposter Syndrome…For Good!

When I interviewed over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women, I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with fear, self-doubt and felt like a fraud, afraid others would find out. Which was exactly how I felt!

But there was a difference between them and me—they didn’t let fear stop them. Their courage inspired me.

After one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

Consciousness Raising While Holiday Shopping

Tis the season to be spending. But splurging on presents is like binging at the buffet. Fun at first, but afterwards, you feel awful!

Let me suggest a simple tip to control your spending, without turning into a tightwad: Track your expenses.

Every time you buy anything—a gift, a latte or a mani/pedi—jot down the item and the amount…at the time of purchase. Otherwise, receipts pile up and it feels overwhelming.

Believe me, tracking is not just for those with limited means. Tracking is a powerful consciousness raising, potentially life changing tool. It reveals a lot more than where you can shave and save.

Thank You!

I intended to write on a completely different topic. But as my hands hit the keys, I heard a voice in my head If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you…that will be enough.”

I felt that Meister Eckhart was sending me a message (and maybe you too) which I imagined went like this: Appreciate the abundance you have….and those who’ve made it possible. That alone will change your life.”

So today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and a 13th century mystic, I’m taking this opportunity to say Thank You…

…to all of you who are reading this blog, even if it’s the only time you ever do, I truly appreciate you reading it today.

…to everyone who’s ever written to tell me how my work has impacted your life, you have no idea how your words have impacted mine. In fact, I have printed out and saved every one of your notes and emails.

Navigating the Chaos of Uncertainty

I once saw a cartoon of a frog leaping from one lily pad to another. There’s a look of sheer terror on her face as she realizes she’s about to miss the lily pad. The caption read: Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.

I suspect that millions of people are feeling a lot like that. Maybe you’re one of them. Poised midair between the old and the new, wondering “What do I do now?”

Welcome to the Age of Massive Uncertainty. The pandemic has played havoc with our lily pads. The present is unfamiliar. The future is unpredictable. Your sense of security is shattered. It feels like nothing’s happening, you’re going nowhere.

Many will do anything to avoid uncertainty. As humans, we yearn for the certainty of solid ground. We’ll numb our anxiety with alcohol or overwork. Or rush head-first into a new job, another relationship.

Yet uncertainty has a powerful purpose. It’s not an empty time. It’s a fallow time, a moratorium, a vital phase in the transition process.

Using Failure to Achieve Greatness

Did you hear about the MBA program offering a course on how to fail? Students are graded on how they handle setbacks in class projects. Classmates are encouraged to boo presentation they don’t like. Guest speakers recount stories of personal failures.

Why aren’t there more courses like that? As inventor Charles Kettering noted, “Failing is one of the greatest arts in the world.”

Failure, an art??? Not in today’s world! With the emphasis on productivity, failure must be avoided at all costs.

How shortsighted. Trying to avoid messing up is a sure path to mediocrity. But those aiming for Greatness never shy away from possible defeat.

Henry Ford, Colonel Sanders, Walt Disney all went broke at least once before amassing millions. Lincoln lost 7 elections before becoming president. Einstein flunked math. Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times, more than any other major league player. Elvis Presley was fired from the Grand Ole Opry.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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