What’s a Kook, you ask? “Someone you shouldn’t date,” explains Adryenn Ashley, who wrote the book on Kookiness, Spotting the Kooks.
Adryenn knows what she’s talking about. She’s a forensic accountant and certified divorce financial analyst who’s witnessed too many marriages go awry. “I saw a lot of people who got married and shouldn’t. I wanted to get to them early before they fell in love with the wrong guy.”
The Big Spender is often that “wrong guy.” He’ll woo you with expensive gifts, lavish meals, exotic vacations. Problem is, says Adryenn, Big Spenders, as seductive as they are, can often be heartbreaks waiting to happen. To him, you’re simply another possession. He values money far more than intimacy. When he does something wrong, his first response may be to give you a string of pearls. But don’t expect a heartfelt discussion or a genuine apology. Five years down the road, he probably still won’t know your favorite color or remember your birthday. And if one day you leave, he likely won’t even notice.
Sure, I may be stereotyping. But ever since my conversation with Adryenn, I think it’s a potential problem worth pointing out. Especially since I know the Prince Charming syndrome is alive and well.
“It’s so easy to get blind-sighted by bling,” Adryenn told me. So what do you do if you’ve got a big rock on your left ring finger, given to you by your beloved Big Spender? Take precautions, Adryenn urges. Get an “airtight prenup.” Or better yet, consider one of her workshops: A Man and A Plan. The workshop sound fabulous…even if you aren’t engaged to a Kook. She guides you and your man through those difficult financial discussions so they become collaborative, not adversarial. Then she has you both writing a prenup that’s based on your marriage vows (not your worst fears). How cool is that?
You can learn more about Adryenn’s books, workshops or other offerings at http://www.everygirlsguides.com.
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