It’s Never Success That Scares You!! Never!

Written by Barbara Huson

She sat across the table, looking every bit the savvy businesswoman that she was.

As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.

Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”

“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward, our foreheads almost touching. I could tell this was difficult for her.

“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

“Tell me what you’re scared of.”

“I’m afraid people won’t like me,” she began slowly, then quickly added, “I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

“You’re not afraid of success,” I responded. “You’re afraid of power. There’s a definite difference.”

I share this conversation with you because I believe it reveals a critical distinction that we women need to understand. Let me explain.

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What’s Really at the Root of the Financial Crisis?

Written by Barbara Huson

“In the 21^st century, women will change the nature of power rather than power changing the nature of women.”

—Bell Abzug

The headline of a recent article in Bloomberg Business Week caught my eye: “ Is the Financial Crisis a Male Syndrome?”

“Could it be,“ the authors ask, “ that male domination of market finance results in excessive speculation and risk-taking at the expense of global stability?”

Ya think?? Clearly, the guys have been calling the shots. No surprise there.

What surprised me most—the co-authors were both men!

I was heartened to know there are a few enlightened men (including the Dali Lama) who are waking up to an obvious truth.

Excessive testosterone is running the world, which as these authors admit, leads to greater aggression and risk taking (ie. Global wars and financial crisis)

The solution? “Gender rebalancing.” With more women in power, the authors insist, we’d see enhanced risk management , less volatility, improved financial markets and better ambiance in the office.

No argument from me! But here’s what I want to know.

Who’s going to do the rebalancing? What’s it going to take to get more women in power?

I ask this question with a sense of urgency…but without a clear answer.

Face it, no one is going to do it for us. If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it.

How? We can begin by having the conversation among ourselves. We can begin by becoming the change we want to see in the world. Call it a grassroots effort…a personal challenge.

What if each one of us starts by noticing where, in our own life, we are giving our power away and consciously strive to take it back? What if each one of us starts speaking up, making sure our voice is heard…and respected? What if every one of us asks for and offers to help each other in this endeavor?

I truly believe, if enough women step fully into their own power, we’d see a giant ripple effect on the global landscape.

What do you think?

Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy

Written by Barbara Huson

Have the headlines got you spooked?

Let me introduce you to Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy. It goes like this: no matter how tough times are, there’ll always be people who are prospering. Why not you?

I discovered this law after I wrote Secrets of Six-Figure Women...at the height of the dot com boom. But when the bubble finally burst, I called each woman back to see how they were faring.

Even as the economy was tanking, many of their careers were thriving. They were finding new jobs, negotiating raises, winning promotions, doubling (even tripling) their client base, making more money than ever before.

“Just because it’s a down time,” said a woman whose coaching business was up 40 percent, “You don’t have to go down with it. There’s lots of opportunity. You’ve just got to find it.”

That’s not to say there weren’t those who suffered a job loss or saw lower profits. Yet even they were amazingly upbeat about their future.

I asked one woman how she felt when the hedge fund she managed collapsed. Her reply: “I regard it as a godsend. As long as the money was so good, it was tough to leave and look for something more challenging.”

These women viewed the slumping economy as the perfect chance to pin down new strategies, explore something different or position themselves for the inevitable recovery.

They never used bad times as an excuse not to stretch. Rather than buying into bad news, they concentrated on their value.

One high earner had just negotiated a very lucrative compensation package for a new job. When her boss balked at her terms, she refused to budge.

“I have a lot to contribute and the company needs to compensate me appropriately or I’ll go elsewhere,” she told him.

I see exactly the same thing happening today. While many (read: underearners) are focused on doors closing, high earners are finding windows of opportunity.

Here’s just one example. A woman who came to my Sacred Success® Retreat last May just sent me this email:

“I’ve increased my business income 3 ½ times since the retreat, compared to all of 2010. Most importantly, I am happy, peaceful and content. I feel calm, more comfortable in my own skin.”

Why not you too? While most of the world is focused on hard times, I invite all of you reading this blog to look for potential opportunities. They’re there. I promise!

5 Words Say it All…

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m flipping through the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve no idea what the article was about. But the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused…”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to mega financial success.

Those 5 words mark the major distinction between an Underearner and a High Earner.

Those 5 words capture the very essence of what it takes to achieve Greatness.

And for anyone who’s struggling to make ends meet, or live their dream, I say heed those 5 words.

I’m convinced these 5 words offer the key to not just surviving, but thriving, in this new economic paradigm.

This may sound weird, but I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I understand why so many with far more skills than I often feel stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted or multi-gifted. But if you want my advice–prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, financial success will go to the focused.

Do you agree? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Please leave me a comment below!

It’s Time to Get Tough!

Written by Barbara Huson

Listen up, ladies. We need to talk. We’re still on the ‘D’ word. But now we’re getting to the nitty gritty. This form of Discipline is what separates the women from the girls. This is where the rubber meets the road. This is, in short, the BIG SECRET to SACRED SUCCESS.

And I got it straight from the mouths of women who make millions. If you wanna play a bigger game, you gotta toughen up! That means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By nature, we women want everyone to be happy with us. Successful women are no different. Almost all I interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

“You have to do the hard stuff,” said one mega high earner. That ‘hard stuff’ included firing employees, ending partnerships, holding tight during demanding negotiations, enforcing an unpopular policy, firing high paying clients, even enduring multiple rejections and disappointments.

In fact, virtually all the women I interviewed told me that their biggest regret was not making tough decisions sooner.

‘Toughening up’ didn’t mean these women had to harden their hearts, numb their senses, or go all macho. It did mean a dramatic shift in their mindset.

The shift sounds like this: ‘I’d rather be respected than liked.’

As one woman told me: “I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions. But I learned, you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

The recognition that earning respect is more important than gaining approval was what one woman described as a “watershed moment.” It definitely was life-changing for me…and liberating.

This one shift in thinking– ‘I’d rather be respected than liked’ –means developing a “rhinoceroses hide” while keeping an open heart. This is precisely how we’ll become strong, effective leaders without compromising our feminine nature. This is what will allow us to be powerful without being punitive, forthright without being unfeeling, responsible without being ruthless.

Where do you need to toughen up? If you’re like me, I bet it’s not just at work, but on the home front too. Leave a comment below about what “toughening up” looks like in your life.

The Beginners Guide to Surrender–in 6 Simple Steps

Written by Barbara Huson

Surrender is NOT for sissies. Surrender, by definition, means relinquishing control…a frightening concept for us control freaks. Surrender drops you swiftly into a sea of uncertainty, at the mercy of your worst fears, producing serious doubts about ever being productive again. I’m speaking from experience here.

But, despite the discomfort, I’m fast becoming a fan. Something happened when I stopped struggling to impose my will and surrendered to receiving guidance–financial success started to feel like a spiritual journey.

Primitive cultures and Eastern Religions had rites and rituals to honor the Time- Between. They took their people out of the villages, into the wilderness, allowing them to connect with their spirit guides, reassess old ways of being, recognize their true purpose.

But no one teaches us, or even encourages, this practice any more.

So, for those of you wishing to take some time out in a rich and rewarding way, I bring you The Beginners Guide to Surrender ( so named because it’s written by a total beginner…me!). There’s no need to leave your village, or even your job. Just follow these 6 simple (though not easy) steps.

Step #1—Eliminate everything but the most essential.

I remember saying to my guy last winter, “I wish I could take the next month off!”

“Why don’t you?” he responded.

I gasped. Taking time off was unthinkable. Or was it? I decided to ease into it slowly, by saying ‘no’ to things that didn’t feed my soul, no matter how lucrative…or tempting. I said ‘no’ to speaking invitations, ‘no’ to networking opportunities, ‘no’ to new clients, ‘no’ to writing my newsletter and blog. If anyone asked, I was on sabbatical until further notice. I continued a little teaching and coaching, but only because I wanted to.

As a result I was left with a lot of down-time…which, of course, is the whole point.

But to many, down-time is a dirty word. And I know why: we’ll do anything to avoid the dreaded step two.

Coming up: Step #2—Allow uncomfortable feelings to surface.

Signals of surrender

Written by Barbara Huson

How do you know when it’s time to surrender?

In my case, I just felt ‘blah’, squeezed dry, devoid of creativity, lacking the passion that once was so prominent. These feelings sort of snuck up on me, caught me by surprise, sometime last summer.

My coach, Martha Lynn Walker, suggested I take a retreat, get a way for a few days. I did and blogged about it earlier – https://www.barbara-huson.com/its-a-miracle/

I returned reinvigorated, back in the groove. Or so I thought. A few months later, my business partner and I split up. At that point, I really felt lost.

I knew, right then, my “blahs” and the break-up were more than isolated incidences. They were wake up calls, signals from my soul, sending me an urgent message: Stop what you’re doing; Pay attention; there’s something you need to know, but you must be quiet enough to hear it.

I wonder how many of you are receiving similar messages, alerting you to the fact you’ve somehow drifted off purpose or perhaps your direction may be morphing into something altogether different. I wonder how many of you haven’t a clue what to do. Or are horrified at the very thought of taking time out. Well, my friends, I’m here to help.

Coming up next: a Beginners Guide to Surrender

Putting Some FUN Into Finances! Part II

Written by Barbara Huson

Join me in the inspiring tale of a woman (I’ll call her Jane) who discovered the stunning power of women joining with other women to take their financial lives higher.

I’ve never met Jane. But recently, she emailed me to say a good friend started an Overcoming Underearning® Book Club, and she became a member. Five women meet monthly, at 7:30am for “OU Power Breakfasts.” The group reads one financial book a month. I am proud to report the first was mine — Overcoming Underearning®. Next was On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.

Here’s how the club works: “We have assignments for our breakfasts, like writing our Contracts with Ourselves and our Wish Lists to share with the group. We also share our successes in the group in person and via email. We often include some variation of “underearning is no longer an option!” in emails!

“I feel AMAZING afterwards. It gives me such a boost throughout the day, knowing that I had done something really great for myself and spent time with supportive, uplifting, inspiring friends before going to work.”
But the group gave Jane more than good feelings. It gave her guts.

“I have a job where I’ve done several extra assignments over the past few years,” she explained, “but have never gotten paid extra for them. I was initially told there was no extra compensation for them and I never asked again. I was happy for the exposure.”

After she turned in her latest extra assignment, however, her supervisor asked Jane to do more revisions. The request followed her first book club. Bolstered by the Power Breakfast, she refused to do more because she wasn’t getting compensated.

Guess what happened?

“My supervisor then said, ‘We can compensate you!’ and within a week all the email approvals had been done to process me getting paid.”

Like most people, she had just assumed a bad economy precluded any extra pay.

“In this climate of cost-cutting I initially did not think that this was going to be possible, but once I verbalized it I realized how much work I had done and that I deserved to get paid, and felt confident that I would. This was a turning point for me in terms of now getting compensated separately for the extra work I do within my company, outside of the responsibilities of my job.”

But the story doesn’t end there. Her credit card debt, once $10,000, “is now under $1,000 and I am very close to paying it off altogether, and when I do I’m going to have a party – I will invite you and if you’re in New York I would love to have you there!”

I’d love to come. There’s nothing more inspiring than being around women empowering other women. If you’ve had any successes with similar groups, I’d love to hear about them!!!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

https://www.barbara-huson.com/inner-circle-join.html

Twitter Barbara at: http://twitter.com/barbarastanny

Can The “Secret” Really Work?

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m a big fan of The Secret. I’ve watched the DVD at least 50 times. This wildly successful video and book introduced the “Law of Attraction” (LOA) to millions of people. And that’s a very good thing…to a point.

Simply put, the Law of Attraction says: Our thoughts create our reality. What we focus on expands. In other words, if you want to be rich, don’t focus on lack of wealth.

But here’s where it gets confusing. How many people (you, maybe?) really want wealth, and refuse to focus on anything but abundance… yet still, nothing changes. Their bills pile up while their bank balance shrivels.

What the Secret failed to mention is that the LOA is only part of the equation for creating wealth. What’s missing are the other 2 Laws:

1. The Law of Discipline
2. The Law of Congruency

#1. The Law of Discipline. Discipline — consistent activity in the direction of your desire — is the root of all success. You can visualize flowers blooming, hitting a hole in one, or wads of cash, but unless you exercise disciplined effort and pull the weeds, practice your putt, or follow the rules of money (spend less, save more, invest wisely), you’re not going to succeed at anything.

#2. The Law of Congruency. You get what you want not what you ask for. For example, you may say “I want to be rich,” but if you distrust wealthy people, don’t believe you deserve wealth, or see money as the root of all evil, then wealth isn’t really what you want. This inner discord explains why affirmations or positive thinking, as powerful as they are, don’t always work… your spoken goals are in conflict with your true desires, and deep down, you don’t actually want what you’re asking for.

Whenever I’m wondering why I’m not attracting something, I always ask myself 2 questions, in this order:

1. Why don’t I want it?

2. What am I not doing, that I need to be doing?

Try it, and let me know what you think! And for more help and support in achieving your financial and personal desires, check out the schedule of Seminars listed on my website!

Women In Power – Best Kept Secret

Written by Barbara Huson

I want to share with you one of the best kept secrets in the world of women and power. It’s called Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. I had no idea what Mama Gena’s was all about until Regena Thomashauer (aka Mama Gena) asked me to speak earlier this year. When I walked into the room, the energy was so high and the women I met so extraordinary, I knew I had to check it out. So I signed up for Mastery.

The course explores power in ways that will deeply transform your relationship with yourself as a woman along with your ability to create your dreams and desires. What it did for me was help me identify and overcome barriers that have kept me from living my life to the fullest.

Regena’s work is truly cutting edge. I’d love you to check it out at http://www.mamagenas.com, or contact me with any questions. A new Mastery is starting soon…I’d love to see you there!

Blog

It’s Never Success That Scares You!! Never!

What’s Really at the Root of the Financial Crisis?

Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy

5 Words Say it All…

It’s Time to Get Tough!

The Beginners Guide to Surrender–in 6 Simple Steps

Signals of surrender

Putting Some FUN Into Finances! Part II

Can The “Secret” Really Work?

Women In Power – Best Kept Secret

Meet Barbara Huson

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