Is Money Your Drug of Choice?

How often do we use money like Novocain, spending freely to numb the pain in our lives or the pressures at work?  But instead of making things better, it just gets us deeper into trouble.

Yet we justify our shopping sprees with thoughts like, “I’m going through a divorce. I deserve this,” or “I hate my job. At least I can enjoy my life.”

What gets us into trouble isn’t the spending, but our self-deception. It’s called denial. And denial can generate considerable debt.

Getting out of denial is a prerequisite for prosperity. Credit card debt is insidious, but not insurmountable.

Making minimum payments can take 30 years or more to pay off (because 75 percent of what you pay goes toward the accumulating interest).  

However, I’ve interviewed hundreds of women who have risen from the ashes of their once reckless spending. They did so by taking a series of steps:

  • They sought help—a book, counselor, support group like Debtors Anonymous or National Association of Credit Counselors or my own online community, The Wealth Connection.
  • They stopped using credit cards—no exceptions, no excuses.
  • They lowered their interest payments—negotiating with creditors or transferring the balance to a lowered interest card.
  • They got crystal clear on their expenses—writing down everything they spent.
  • They began shaving and saving—putting their expenses into categories, seeing where to shave (make small cuts) adding that to savings.
  • They created a plan to pay down their debt—as quickly as they could.

 What are you doing to get out of both denial and debt? Tell me in the comments below.

Comments & Feedback

  • Susan Bernat

    Hi, Barbara! Thanks for these thought-provoking questions. I have little debt now, and hope to pay it all off within the next few/several months.

    Snowy wintertime seems to be my friend at present, because I–along with many others in my region–am inclined to remain indoors during these very cold days. One consequence is fewer financial expenditures. Further, because I am not currently employed, I’m vigilant about every penny spent, maintaining weekly, even daily, budget calculations to keep track of my checking account balance.

    If there is any denial in my situation, it surely regards my sense of financial worth. Which, in turn, involves my self-confidence and self-esteem. Herein, I believe, lies the crux of my problems.

    These mere two paragraphs above have reduced me to tears.

    Let’s see: you told me to say to myself: “I love money.” The truth is that, while I understand and appreciate what money can buy, I cannot honestly say that I love money itself. Is this, in and of itself, a problem?

    Time to return to the TWC chat.

    • barbara huson

      Good question, Susan. If you don’t love money, then how DO you feel about it? I’d love to know. And your answer could help give you more insight.

  • Ann Marie Finch

    Greetings Dear Barbara and Team, hope you are all well!

    Thank you for this email. It made me pause… and consider where I am in this area of my life?… Walking these steps, for sure… I’m currently on step 4 – tracking my income and expenses every other day now and I create a monthly summary. This way Im more conscious when I slip into spending mindlessly (denial) which for me is buying those little things which all add up overtime. Tracking more I can remind myself of what I truly want, at regular intervals, which of course – keeps me on track. Im making better choices and it feels good.

    January was the best month Ive had in work and finances for a long while. I celebrated and gave thanks! I paid down some debt and wanted to pay down more, then realised.. as most of the extra income from January was from adhoc work i needed to set some aside for essential bills going forward as Im unsure what my total income will look like end of February. So yeh… Im doing step 4, 5 and 6. Although i wouldnt say im saving yet, more like creating an emergency fund. Feels so good ‘choosing’ what to do with my money, including paying off some debts.

    It seems Im actually beginning to grow up in this area of my life, albeit slowly and I’m truly thankful for the shift, which started when I joined the Wealth Connection, So a big thank you, All! It’s taken a long time to get here and I’d like to continue evolving in this area of my life and work and in general… 🙏🏾❤️

    • barbara huson

      How wonderful to hear from you, Ann Marie. From what I read, I’m convinced you will continue evolving if you keep up what you’re doing. I love how conscious you’ve gotten about your spending. And creating an emergency fund IS saving…and very important. I give you a BIG GOLD STAR! Well done. And thanks for writing. Big hugs xoxo

  • Lisa

    Even though I had assets, I was temporarily in debt for a few months. I spent about one month’s salary on fantastic plastic and couldn’t pay it off the next month. Someone paid it off in full for me and I paid them back with interest from a CD that matured the next month and with my allowance from my salary over the next few months.

    I believe half of the debt was from tuition fee’s and text books for a course. It felt like it took FOREVER to pay back! When I asked a friend who had accumulated close to a years salary in debt when she knew she was in too much debt she couldn’t answer and she couldn’t recall what she spent most of it on either. She didn’t suffer a major illness or job loss, but wanted people to feel sorry for her for having a lot of debt.

    Because part of my daily affirmation is that I always have enough money for everything, this deters me from getting in debt again. If I were in debt, I would want enough money to cover my minimum debt repayments while hustling to also have a little to invest and save. Hopefully one of the stocks would eventually take off to fully pay off the debt in a few years time.

    Something I could do right now would be hustling. Making a phone call or sending an email to drum up business and staying consistent. Consistently working, paying off debts and investing.

  • barbara huson

    Kudos to you, Lisa, for paying off your debt and doing everything you can to not incur any more. I give you a lot of credit. I LOVE your affirmation…keep saying it. It’s working!

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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