Women & Power

The Only (True) Antidote for Fear

It’s hard not to freak out these days. Between political chaos, wars, and erratic markets how’s a girl supposed to stay positive and avoid panicking?

I’ve been asking myself that question a lot.  Then I found a way to quiet my anxiety. And I’m excited to share it with you.

It’s called Selective Attention. You focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you.

Easier said than done, right?  Which is exactly what I thought…until I remembered the Receiving Journals I handed out years ago at my Sacred Success retreats.

Keeping a Receiving Journal serves the same purpose as tracking your spending.  But instead of increasing your awareness of money going out, a Receiving Journal forces you to face all the abundance flowing in.

A Spiritual Approach to Financial Angst

Recently this thought has become almost obsessive. It’s time to preach the gospel of the Metafiscal.

Metafiscal, a word I coined, blends financial knowledge with metaphysical principles, melding the spiritual with the practical in regard to money.

You don’t have to be religious to be Metafiscal. I’m certainly not.

But I do agree with Deepak Chopra who said, “We need a more spiritual approach to success and to affluence.” Especially in the midst of so much financial angst and upheaval.

It’s no accident that “In God We Trust” is emblazoned on our currency. God can be whatever you’re comfortable with—a personified deity, a Higher Power, your inner wisdom or an all-encompassing energy far greater than our earthly selves.

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Who Said Money Equals Power?

Money does not give you power. Power comes from the choices you make. That’s a very important distinction. Not all high earners are powerful women.

Successful women fall into two groups. The Successful High Earners and the Hard-driven High Earners.

Hard Driven High Earners are superwomen on steroids, classic workaholics, who’ll breakdown before they slow down. They are not powerful women. They live in deprivation…not necessarily of money, but time, joy, freedom, and control of their life.

A Heroine’s Journey: The Feminine Path to Financial Independence 

In my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, I likened the process of financial independence to a Hero’s Journey.

However, as I have since discovered, Heroines follow a somewhat different path. But those differences are significant.

In traditional accounts, the male Hero, responding to “The Call” (something’s missing or was taken), sets out in search of treasure (the holy grail or helpless maiden). As he travels (outside his comfort zone), he battles dragons and experiences ordeals (his fears), ultimately finding the treasure (something outside of himself).

In this traditional telling, the man is the savior; the woman is the passive princess.

The Heroine’s Journey also begins with “The Call” (she’s unhappy or dissatisfied). Unfortunately, women too often respond by waiting to be saved.

Welcoming Your Warrior Archetype

There is inside each of us a long-buried treasure—a deep-seated source of strength, daring, and focus—otherwise known as the Warrior Archetype.

This Archetype is the psychological blueprint for leadership and courage, for fierce determination in the face of incessant obstacles.

I believe the Warrior Archetype provides the missing link in women’s evolution. The Warrior carries the hardwiring for our power.

Unfortunately, a lot of women shun this Archetype. They equate Warrior energy with cruelty, destruction and violence.

What’s Emotion Got to Do With It? Everything!!!

I call it the Secret Shame of Successful Women. And I see it all the time. Bright, sophisticated professionals, making ample incomes, who have little (if anything) to show for it.  

Their problem isn’t lack of money. That’s merely a symptom. The real problem is that money is a far more emotional subject than the financial industry recognizes…which does a huge disservice to women.

After decades in this business, I’m convinced that the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially is because of Unresolved Emotions. Emotions of fear, grief, anger and shame, incurred during their lifetime or passed down from earlier generations.

Think about it. What better way to keep painful feelings at bay than by unconsciously creating financial turmoil—forgetting to pay bills, splurging on gifts, maxing out credit cards.

Power-From-Within

 If you’re not where you want to be financially, consider this. Your difficulties may have little, if anything, to do with money, but your fear of or ambivalence about power…because you don’t understand true power.

Basically, there are 3 kinds of power:

  1. Power Over (Domination)
  2. Power With (Collaboration)
  3. Power-From-Within (Dominion)

The drawback with the first two is that exercising power depends on others cooperating.

True, authentic power derives from the 3rd—Power-From-Within (a term coined by feminist author, Starhawk)—which comes from your mind.

When you understand how to control your thoughts (vs trying to control other people), you’ll discover the immense power you have, regardless of what’s going on ‘out there.’

Willpower Won’t Work! Rewire to Spend Less

You swear, starting today, you’re going to curb your spending. And you really mean it. Until….

You spy an online ad for this adorable summer dress that’s to die for. Later, you flip through the Costco catalogue and that Vitamix Blender you’ve been eyeing is on sale.

Without thinking, you whip out your card, make your purchase and you feel great.  Until the bill comes. Then you remember your vow and beat yourself up for not having more will-power.

BUT WAIT! According to the latest research, all the will power in the world may not be enough. Blame it on your brain.

Advice for Financial Advisors—Part II

I truly believe the best way for women to create wealth is by working with financial professionals. But, according to the Wall Street Journal, “fewer than one in five women currently has an advisor.”

Why? Because women can’t find anyone who understands them.

Advisors are talking to women just like they do men.  Big mistake.  True, money knows no gender. Women, however, are very different from men. Yet the financial world is based on the male model of communication.

Last week I offered 2 pointers answering the question: What would you like to tell the financial industry about how, specifically, they can better serve women?

Here are 3 more.

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Advice for Financial Advisors

Here’s a question I was recently asked during a podcast.

What would you like to tell the financial industry about how, specifically, they can better serve women?

Oh boy. So much to tell. So little space.

But I’d start with this:

Women are NOT Men!

Obvious, right? But clearly, the financial industry hasn’t gotten that memo.

I’m a big fan of financial professionals. I’ve had the same advisor for many years (after going through nine others that didn’t get the memo either). I even wrote a booklet; Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust.

Sadly, the bulk of advisors (I’m including both sexes here) still live in the dark ages when it comes to female clients.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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