I recently got a message on Facebook: “I want to make a quantum leap. Tell me, Barbara, how do I do that?”
My answer: “Take lots of tiny steps.”
If her lack of response was any indication, I don’t think she liked my reply.
But the truth is, that’s precisely how quantum leaps, colossal successes, radical transformations occur…one small step at a time.
You know the feeling. You finally decide to take the financial reins. You’ll pay off your debt, save for emergencies, invest regularly for retirement.
Off you go—to take a financial class, talk to an advisor, buy a money book when suddenly, you run smack dab into Resistance.
Resistance is the psychological term for “I don’t want to do this!”
So, you cancel the appointment, lose interest in the book, sit through the class, but nothing sinks in. You figure money’s not your thing. Eventually, you quit trying.
Resistance, more than anything else, is what stops women from taking the financial reins. But it doesn’t need to derail you, at least not for long.
“I really want to make more money,” she said, sighing heavily. “But I find it difficult being comfortable asking for what I’m worth.”
This woman was missing the point. I don’t know anyone who feels comfortable raising their prices or asking for a raise. Yet, underearners will sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.
It’s astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called Comfort Zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They’re just familiar and predictable.
Whenever you decide to do something different–whether it’s making more money or losing more weight—you must enter the Discomfort Zone–the space between where you are now and where you want to be.
Quick. Pick one. Which would you rather have: (A) Higher earnings or (B) More in savings?
I’m guessing you went for (A). Most people do. We tend to be far more concerned with increasing our income rather than growing our net worth. But hey, it’s not our fault. That’s how our brain is wired.
A recent Cornell University study discovered that our brains are biased toward earning and against saving. Perhaps it’s the immediate gratification our paychecks offer while socking away savings feels about as gratifying as watching grass grow
“Fundamentally it comes down to this,” the study reported. “Saving is less valuable to our brains, which devote less attentional resources to it. Our brains find saving more difficult to attend to.”
“What are the secrets to being wealthy?” she asked, a tinge of desperation in her voice. “I feel like rich people know these secrets that I never learned.”
She was right. There are Secrets to creating wealth. And I understood her frustration. I struggled with this same question for years, never getting a satisfactory answer.
The truth is, very few people actually understand how to become a Wealth Builder. Everyone, however, knows how to be a Consumer.
As a Consumer, when money comes in, you go out and spend it. Granted, you may be an excellent Dollar Watcher and Bargain Hunter. But that’s not how you build wealth.
I once saw a poster that made a lasting impression. On it was written: Will it matter that I was?
Those words struck me like lightning bolts. I realized, after 40 years on this planet, I had never felt like I mattered…which explained the seemingly inexplicable angst I’d experienced my entire life.
That’s when I made a decision. I vowed to do something ‘important’ so I’d finally feel like I mattered. And off I went.
I wrote a book, then several others. I appeared on national TV. I spoke to large audiences. But no matter how loud the applause, it never drowned out my sense of insignificance.
Dear Entrepreneur,
If success eludes you and profits are paltry, a new study sheds important light on your situation. Being a business owner myself, I found it quite illuminating.
All 357 female entrepreneurs surveyed knew what they needed to do to grow their business. Yet they “expressed doubt” about taking those steps due to their limiting beliefs.
“Female entrepreneurs limit their business success because they hold beliefs that lead to small actions instead of big ones,” the study reported. Or they avoid acting altogether.
Bottom line: The more limiting your beliefs, the lower your earnings.
NOTE: I believe the findings apply to all women, working or not. We all tend to struggle with limiting beliefs, don’t we?
Money does not give you power. Power comes from the choices you make. That’s a very important distinction. Not all high earners are powerful women.
Successful women fall into two groups. The Successful High Earners and the Hard-driven High Earners.
Hard Driven High Earners are superwomen on steroids, classic workaholics, who’ll breakdown before they slow down. They are not powerful women. They live in deprivation…not necessarily of money, but time, joy, freedom, and control of their life.
I remember sitting down to write my first book. I was so excited. Until I read what I wrote. It was awful. I tore up the pages in utter defeat.
This went on for months. I’d write. Read the draft. Rip it up in disgust. Walk away in despair. Eventually the book got written but oh, did I suffer. It was the same with each of my next 6 books.
When I started working on my 8th book, I swore I’d do it differently. And I did. Here’s how I made the process actually pleasurable. I share it with you because even if you’re not writing a book, these steps apply to any project that feels difficult or insurmountable.
It’s what I call the Higher Work of Wealth–understanding that financial success is a spiritual journey; that financial abundance is a divine right and a divine duty; and that financial accountability is a sacred responsibility.
Looking at money from this perspective makes the often-overwhelming task of making more money and managing it wisely seem easier and definitely more meaningful.
I’ve come to believe, from my own experience, that money (respecting and appreciating it) is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this earth to do.
I’ve always believed that we are here to do God’s work. But we cannot possibly follow our God-given destiny, if we’re drowning in debt or struggling to make ends meet.
