Money does not give you power. Power comes from the choices you make. That’s a very important distinction. Not all high earners are powerful women.
Successful women fall into two groups. The Successful High Earners and the Hard-driven High Earners.
Hard Driven High Earners are superwomen on steroids, classic workaholics, who’ll breakdown before they slow down. They are not powerful women. They live in deprivation…not necessarily of money, but time, joy, freedom, and control of their life.
I remember sitting down to write my first book. I was so excited. Until I read what I wrote. It was awful. I tore up the pages in utter defeat.
This went on for months. I’d write. Read the draft. Rip it up in disgust. Walk away in despair. Eventually the book got written but oh, did I suffer. It was the same with each of my next 6 books.
When I started working on my 8th book, I swore I’d do it differently. And I did. Here’s how I made the process actually pleasurable. I share it with you because even if you’re not writing a book, these steps apply to any project that feels difficult or insurmountable.
It’s what I call the Higher Work of Wealth–understanding that financial success is a spiritual journey; that financial abundance is a divine right and a divine duty; and that financial accountability is a sacred responsibility.
Looking at money from this perspective makes the often-overwhelming task of making more money and managing it wisely seem easier and definitely more meaningful.
I’ve come to believe, from my own experience, that money (respecting and appreciating it) is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this earth to do.
I’ve always believed that we are here to do God’s work. But we cannot possibly follow our God-given destiny, if we’re drowning in debt or struggling to make ends meet.
In my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, I likened the process of financial independence to a Hero’s Journey.
However, as I have since discovered, Heroines follow a somewhat different path. But those differences are significant.
In traditional accounts, the male Hero, responding to “The Call” (something’s missing or was taken), sets out in search of treasure (the holy grail or helpless maiden). As he travels (outside his comfort zone), he battles dragons and experiences ordeals (his fears), ultimately finding the treasure (something outside of himself).
In this traditional telling, the man is the savior; the woman is the passive princess.
The Heroine’s Journey also begins with “The Call” (she’s unhappy or dissatisfied). Unfortunately, women too often respond by waiting to be saved.
There is inside each of us a long-buried treasure—a deep-seated source of strength, daring, and focus—otherwise known as the Warrior Archetype.
This Archetype is the psychological blueprint for leadership and courage, for fierce determination in the face of incessant obstacles.
I believe the Warrior Archetype provides the missing link in women’s evolution. The Warrior carries the hardwiring for our power.
Unfortunately, a lot of women shun this Archetype. They equate Warrior energy with cruelty, destruction and violence.
If you’re not where you want to be financially, consider this. Your difficulties may have little, if anything, to do with money, but your fear of or ambivalence about power…because you don’t understand true power.
Basically, there are 3 kinds of power:
The drawback with the first two is that exercising power depends on others cooperating.
True, authentic power derives from the 3rd—Power-From-Within (a term coined by feminist author, Starhawk)—which comes from your mind.
When you understand how to control your thoughts (vs trying to control other people), you’ll discover the immense power you have, regardless of what’s going on ‘out there.’
Here’s a question I was recently asked during a podcast.
What would you like to tell the financial industry about how, specifically, they can better serve women?
Oh boy. So much to tell. So little space.
But I’d start with this:
Women are NOT Men!
Obvious, right? But clearly, the financial industry hasn’t gotten that memo.
I’m a big fan of financial professionals. I’ve had the same advisor for many years (after going through nine others that didn’t get the memo either). I even wrote a booklet; Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust.
Sadly, the bulk of advisors (I’m including both sexes here) still live in the dark ages when it comes to female clients.
“ I really want to make more money, but where do I start?” I get this question a lot. My answer is always the same.
Start by telling the truth about what’s not working in your life…without having a solution in sight.
Simply telling the truth has tremendous power. Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get your attention.
As I’ve witnessed countless times, financial success is often preceded by acknowledging a financial challenge.
Your particular challenge could be as subtle as a nagging sense that you’re not happy to the agonizing awareness that you can’t pay your rent, yet again.
Facing a challenge does not mean rushing ahead with possible solutions or passively accepting the situation as “That’s just the way it is.”
Facing a challenge means telling the truth about why it’s there in the first place.
That’s when you’ll come to realize that every difficulty you experience stems from the choices you’ve made, choices based on erroneous information, faulty beliefs, prior conditioning, unfounded fear.
Once you tell the truth—without criticism or judgement but with compassion and a commitment to change—you will, inevitably, start identifying and making healthier choices.
Then something magical may occur…if you have the courage to go deeper. You will recognize a profound truth you’ve likely been long avoiding, what I call The Defining Truth. It goes like this:
No one is doing this to me. I am doing it to myself. Therefore, I have the ability to change it.
The moment you fully grasp The Defining Truth, life as you know it will never be the same. You move from being a victim to owning your power.
Your authentic voice will begin to emerge louder, more clearly than ever before. And you’ll free yourself to make wiser, more productive choices.
As one former underearner admitted: “I won’t tell anyone it’s easy looking at what you’ve been avoiding forever. It’s really hard. But it won’t kill you. And you know, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It actually feels a lot better than saying ‘I don’t want to look at it.’”
Where are you hiding the truth from yourself? Tell me in the comments below.
There’s nothing like a burning goal to inspire you to go for it, full throttle. You’re excited to write a book. You’re eager to grow your savings. You yearn to start a business.
But what happens when you run into the inevitable speed bumps and road blocks? The fire in your belly can rage out of control. Your drive turns to desperation.
You become convinced that if you don’t make it happen right now, it never will. Impatience is the enemy of success, the death knell to higher aspirations, a sure-fire path to mediocrity.
Your Ego, like an angry parent, is shrieking “hurry up or you’ll fall behind.”
These bogus threats are guaranteed to sap creativity, drain energy, delay progress.
I once heard it explained that when you have more money than you need, that’s wealth. When you use your money to make a difference, that’s power. In my experience, wealth and power are inextricably intertwined.
Once a woman becomes financially secure, her motivation shifts from making more money to leaving a legacy, to giving back to others in ways that fill her with meaning and pleasure, while imbuing her with the power and the ability to make an impact.
I am convinced that successful women offer our greatest hope for healing the planet. And I believe you are meant to be one of them—if you aren’t already.
So, I ask you: What will your legacy be?
This question cuts right to the core of why you’re here and the mark you wish to make after you’re gone. Your desired legacy serves as an internal compass, guiding your daily decisions in the direction of your optimal future.
